


The Assistant

by Miss_Izzy



Category: Star Wars
Genre: F/M, Forced Abortion, Knife Play, Loss of Virginity, Poisoning, Pregnancy, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-08-23 22:34:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8345329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Izzy/pseuds/Miss_Izzy
Summary: You have been General Hux's personal assistant for two years and then everything changes.





	1. Things Change

The ship was cold, it was always cold. It just seemed colder this morning as you raced down the corridor to the meeting. You were going to make it in plenty of time, twenty minutes early in fact, just the way the General liked it. Being his assistant has never been easy. Not in the beginning and not after two years. Of course, he handpicked you for the position, fresh out of the academy. You were trained to be a data analyst. Your training in no way prepared you for being the personal assistant to General Armitage Hux of the First Order.  
After two years you have learned to efficiently diffuse the almost daily squabbles between the General and Kylo Ren and also smooth over any "temper tantrums" (as the General puts it), that Kylo Ren may have. You have also become the expert in disposing of discarded mistresses. In the last two years you have learned more about the General and his sexual proclivities than anyone should know. This knowledge alone is the driving force behind you staying single for the rest of your life and distaste for sex, not that you would even know what sex was about anyway.You have made them cry, you've held their hands in the med bay after a rough night, you've taken the brunt of their tempers, you've done things these girls that you are not proud of. Why, you think to yourself, because the General tells you to. He pays you well for it, not just regular pay, but bonuses and gifts. You will retire a rich woman in the end, if the job doesn't kill you first.

The meeting seems to last forever. You keep yourself busy by taking notes for the memorandum that will go out later today and scanning the minds of everyone in room. You've always known that your telepathic abilities and calm demeanor is what got you the job. Although the gossip states other wise. You have never been the General's lover, nor would you ever be. You can understand it, though. A young woman, fresh out of the academy being hand picked by a young general, who is known to have a fondness for ladies. What would you think if you were on the outside looking in.

  
You feel a hand on the small of your back. You look up and see the General looking at you with a smirk. "Lost in your thoughts again, Miss (Y/L/N)?" Without giving you a chance to answer, he continues, " I will be back at the office in ten minutes, we will go over the notes then."

You nodded and took your leave. You knew the meeting was not the only thing he wanted to discuss with you. A certain situation had come up a few days ago and he was very eager for it to be disposed of. It was being handled the same way as all the others. A simple transfer to another ship would do the trick, but you had a feeling the girl would not go to easily. It didn't take long for your hunch to be proven right. There she stood by the General's office door, looking like a caged beast ready to pounce.

She was the tall, leggy, blonde type, they all were lately. You could feel her anger as you ushered her into the office. Looking at her, waiting for the yelling and tears to commence you found yourself wondering how you would measure up to these women. You are not tall, in fact your are the shortest female on the Finalizer. Your are blonde, however, but that is the only trait you have in common with this last string of women.

"HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?" The yelling had begun, "I LOVE HIM, HE LOVES ME. I LET HIM DO THINGS TO ME THAT I WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE ELSE DO. AND THIS IS WHAT HE DOES, SENDS ME OFF LIKE A CHEAP WHORE!"

  
You could tell the yelling would not end anytime soon, so, you did what you had to do. "Miss Bale, please sit, I'll get you some water. I know you're upset. I understand completely. The General is only a man, sometimes not a very good one. He doesn't really have a choice in the matter," you continued while handing her a glass of water. "You see Miss Bale..."

  
And thump, she hit the floor. That didn't take long at all. You called for Lieutenant Mitaka over the commlink. He would take the girl to the transport and make sure she didn't get off, if she woke up, which she probably wouldn't. They never did until they reached their new destination. The things you do for him, you think to yourself. How many girls have you drugged to get them off the ship, how many times had you seen them in the med bay crying in pain, because of the torturous sex they endured the night before, and then tell them the General did not want to see them again, just adding to their pain. Why do you stay? You didn't start out this way, you used to be sweet, kind, innocent in the ways of the world, not so much now.

  
"I assume the situation has been taken care of?" he asked while briskly walking in and sitting at his desk. "I could hear the slut yelling all the way down the hall. And she wonders why?" he asked, chuckling to himself.

  
"She is on her way to the Punisher," you said as you watched the transporter ship take the jump to hyperspace. "I just hope she is at least calm when she wakes up, and keeps her wits about her."

  
He nodded in agreement and we commenced to working. You relaxed into your normal routine, sitting in "your chair" and took notes on what the general wanted in the memorandum to be sent out later in the day. You had a cozy set up in his office. Your own corner with a chair and desk. He wanted you in his office, said it made life easier, a lot more could get done with you being within arms reach instead in another room. You at first thought it odd, but learned to deal with it. The General was a very odd and precise man. He wanted what he wanted, when and how he wanted it. You marveled at well put together he was, his appearance always perfect, his demeanor always emotionless and precise. Odd as it is, you are similar to him, you, yourself are well put together appearance wise and your demeanor is always calm, never doing anything without thinking.

As the day progressed, you both fell into your normal routine. He barked orders and you obeyed. No matter how normal the day appeared there was something in the air, an uneasiness that seemed to be emanating from General Hux. The General has always been able to keep his mind closed to you, but you could always pick up on his feelings and emotions. The uneasiness coming from him was almost unbearable. There were no missions or problems occurring that you knew of that would cause his uneasiness. You and he had the sort of relationship where you could ask him, but you were afraid. Do you really want to know? If it was something bad or important you would be made aware of it, eventually. You noticed that he would steal glances at you, when he thought you wasn't looking and he would touch your arm or shoulder, sometime even the small of your back as you were walking the corridors of the ship. He has touched you before, looked at you before, but today, today it was different.

  
The end of the workday was fast approaching. You would accompany the General to the Officer's Dining Hall. Just another instance in which he wants you close to him. By this time you were growing weary of the uneasiness of the day. So you sucked it up, found courage and asked, "General is something wrong? You seem uneasy today."

  
He frowned and sighed and finally after what seemed like forever, spoke, "Nothing is wrong, I just have some things on my mind." After a long pause, he continued. "Miss (Y/L/N), are you happy here? Do you regret anything? You're young, barley twenty-three. I've never seen you with anyone, talking to anyone. Do you not want to do something more?"

  
You wasn't quite sure what to say to that, but you could tell that he wanted answers. It was a very rare occasion, that General Hux ever asked you any personal questions. You thought for a moment and answered, "Well General, I am happy here, I consider myself lucky to hold this position. As you said, I am young, not many people my age can say they have reached such a coveted position. As for regrets, I don't have any. Granted, I have done some things, that make me question my morals a little, but I don't regret anything. You're also correct, I'm not in any relationship and I don't have any friends. Girls tend to gossip too much and men usually just want one thing and I am not interested in that one thing. I am pretty content with my life, General, I don't want to change."

  
He sat quietly and pondered this for a few minutes. "Have you ever wondered why I chose you?"

  
" I assume it is because of my telepathic capabilities."

  
" I didn't know about your telepathic capabilities at the time, Kylo Ren told me of them after he first met you." you looked at him afraid of where this was going, you knew where this was going. " I chose you because I wanted you, your body, your mind. Have you not ever wondered why I keep you so close to me ? I even made sure to make your quarters next to mine."

You sat dumbfounded, not sure what to say or do, so you just sat there.


	2. The Ribbon That Holds Him Together

You sat there completely gobsmacked. He wanted you, but why? You're not like the other girls. You have no experience with men. There is no way you could make him happy, satisfy him sexually. You sat there, your mind racing around in circles. Things made sense now, why he kept you at arms length. You had an office, but yet you were required to sit in his office. He made you a high ranking officer, so your quarters could be on the same level as his, right beside his actually. But he wanted you. Why not say something sooner, why would he want to wait. You knew what he did with women, you could hear them through the walls sometimes. He discarded them like used tissues. Is he wanting you to be like them, to throw away after he is done? As you sat there with your thoughts running rampant, your usual calm demeanor started to slip away, you felt yourself losing control. The office walls started to close in on you. You couldn't breath and you were so dizzy, your were going to pass out.

In your panic, you didn't realize he had moved to sit beside you. He was holding you, stroking your hair. He was whispering things in your ears, but in your state, you couldn't comprehend what he was saying. You could feel yourself calming, your breathing was returning to normal. You could feel his concern, you didn't know he could show concern for anyone else. You felt him pulling you closer to him, but still your were afraid to look at him, afraid of what you would see in his eyes. If you did look, would you lose yourself in those blue eyes. Would you see the coldness or the longing he speaks of.

You were brought back to reality when you felt his lips forehead, slowly peppering kisses on you as he worked his way down to your jawline. The aroma of his cologne was putting you over the edge, but you knew you needed to stop this. Before it escalated, you came to your senses and pulled back. "General, I-I don't know what to say. I think, well I know that I do need time to think about this. I like my position here, I don't want that to change." you said almost in a whisper.

 "I expected that you would need time. You always think everything through, at least four times, " he said with a smile, " Take all the time you need, weeks, months even, if you need it. I am a patient man, I've waited two years for you, I can wait a little longer." As he finished his warm expression filled with longing, turned to the serious one that you see everyday when he is commanding the Finalizer. " I do not intend on this affecting our working relationship. I will not accept a transfer request or resignation. You needn't fear, I promise to be on my best behavior towards you at all times. Now, Miss (Y/L/N), let us go to dinner."

The rest of night continued as if nothing happened. You both were experts at hiding your emotions. You did wonder if things would remain the same, at least until you made a decision to be with him or not. Looking around the officers dining hall, you wondered if anybody knew, if you were the only one that was blind. Anyone else would of seen it coming, would of know why he kept you so close. Your mind was going in so many directions. , all going back to the one question, why? Once you got back to your quarters you decided to take a much needed bath. That usually calmed you after a rough day, but this day was not like those. The water was hot, almost scalding, but you were from Ranoth in the unknown regions, your people could handle the heat. You wondered what he was doing at that particular time. You knew he had no mistress at this time, you just got rid of the last one. Was he working, he often did staying up till at least the early morning, filling your inbox while you slept. Your thoughts really were going all over the place. Then you noticed you data pad, someone had sent you a message. It was the General:

_I know you are not sleeping.  Your are as awake as I am.  Maybe you should try some of your specially blended sleeping powder._

 

You shook your head, why didn't you think of that.  Truthfully, you have always been reluctant to try any of your powders, good things could not come from them.  You sent the General a message thanking him for the suggestion. You then went to the cabinet to retrieve the one you wanted. It was not as potent at the other sleeping powders, it would help you sleep and keep you from dreaming.  You looked at all of the other vials; sleeping powders, abortion powders, memory erasers, a few powders that kills, you only had to use one of those once. Anyone looking at your powders could tell what exactly you have done for your general.

You gave the appearance of innocence, but you were far from it. Love, you knew nothing about that, the ways of the galaxy, that was different.  You had a decision to make, you knew he would not be as patient as he said he would be. He was as evil as they come. What would you do?  Be one of his many women and poison yourself when he was done with you, like you have had to do to the others.  Would you refuse him? Was that even an option, you doubted it. You do find him attractive, but that isn't enough. You know his ways, what he is capable of. In the end would you even leave alive.

 

Days passed and true to his word, our working relationship did not change. We went through our daily routine as if nothing happened. But some things did change slightly, only you noticed. He was more possessive, more jealous. He seemed to keep you even closer to him, you went with him everywhere. Meetings that you would not normally go to, the main bridge. He would glare at other crew members, if he thought they were looking at you. No one found this odd at all. The General really didn't need a reason to glare at anybody and nobody thought it unusual that I would go with him everywhere.  But I was wrong, someone else did notice the slight changes.  Kylo Ren.

You and Kylo Ren had a healthy respect for each other. You did try to avoid him, he made you uncomfortable, always trying to get into your mind. You are able to block him though, being telepathic.  It makes him so frustrated.  Just as he cannot get into your mind, you cannot get into his, which is good thing. He is a scary individual, his mind is probably horrific.  His relationship with General Hux is a little different.  Since the destruction of Star Killer Base, it seems that they have come to some kind of understanding. They still squabbled, but not as much, it was almost like they were brothers. You think it was Kylo Ren who taught the General how to block his mind.  Rumors persist that it was Supreme Leader Snoke who is responsible for their new attitude towards each other. 

Walking down the corridor to your quarters, you could feel him behind you.  So, you stopped and turned to face him. He wasn't wearing his mask, he rarely did when he was on board. 

"  Commander Ren, is there something I can help you with?"

" I can sense your anxiety. The General has confessed his feelings for you. You're worried that it will not be like the others, that it will be worse."

" Is that what you do all day, try to break through my barriers and try to read my mind?"

" No, not all day. I have known about his feelings for you from the beginning, but it is easy to deduce yours. You know him better than anyone, you know what he is capable of. And knowing all that it is easy to see why you would be anxious.  Did he tell you what he thought about you the first time he saw you?" you shook your head no and he continued. " You were still at the academy. I was with him that day, he was looking for a new assistant. When he saw you it was like he was thunderstruck.  He wouldn't consider anyone else, but you. I knew you had talents that would be useful for your job, to him it was just a bonus. He was attracted to your innocence.  I read it in his mind, he was in love with you from the moment he saw you."

You were taken aback by this confession. Was the General capable of love. If Ren saw it in his mind then it must be true. The mind doesn't lie. "Did he send you to talk to me? If he loved me all this time, why did he wait two years to tell me of his feelings?"

" He wanted you to grow a little and he wanted to get to know you better. And no, he did not send me to talk to you."

" Then why trouble yourself with our problems?'

" The First Order needs him. Without him I doubt we will succeed. You are the ribbon that holds him together. You keep him sane.  You did not know him after the destruction of Star Killer Base, he was in a dark place, darker than where I am. Things will not be what he says they will be, but he does love you and only you. He will give you anything you want, he will treat you like a queen."

And with that he was gone, leaving you with more things to think about.  You knew you would be dipping into your personal stock of sleeping powder again.

 

 

 

 


	3. So Much for His Best Behavior

" Miss (Y/L/N), I want you to arrange a dinner party for the weapons makers from Mikam.  I think it may also be prudent to set up a meeting with them and the builders from Kuat-Entralla Engineering. I don't want anything to go wrong with the new space station."

" Is there anything you want specifically, General?"

He looked up from his data pad. You could see it in his eyes, the longing. It had been a week and a half since his confession. He was being patient, but you knew that it wouldn't last. He wanted an answer and he really didn't want to wait, though he said he would. You could tell he wanted get things going, but you didn't know if you could give him the answer he wanted.

" Maybe something formal, with only the higher ranking officers and of course their dates. I think the ladies may be excused from wearing their formal uniforms, they may wear formal gowns instead. The usual food and entertainment should suffice."

You watched him as he walked over to you and sat down. As he grabbed your hand, he said, " I do have a very specific job for you. I want you to listen, to look inside of their minds and tell me what you see. I want to know if they are lying or planning to double cross us.  I also you want to do something else for me. I want you to go as my date."

You looked up at him and smiled. He was still holding your hand. " Of course, I will go with you, " you said as you absentmindedly started fumbling with the strand of pearls around your neck.

" I think I like the new ladies uniforms. It shows of your beautiful neck. And this," he said while running his fingers over your collar bone, " is my favorite."

He maneuvered your body to where you were sitting with your back to him.  You felt the pressure of his hands on your thigh and arm and you could feel his warm breath on your neck. His cologne was driving you mad.  You felt the warm moisture of his tongue followed by the softness of his lips. He slowly worked his way from the right side of your neck to the left side. You raised you arm up so you could run your fingers through his hair. You felt the wetness between your legs. You felt as if you were going to completely come undone. You let out a soft moan as he found that special spot just behind your ear lobe.

" Gods your beautiful. I want you to moan for me again." His hand had made its way underneath your skirt, he spread you legs slightly. He pushed your already wet knickers aside and started rubbing your clit. He started kissing your neck again and you let out another soft moan.  You could feel a strange feeling in your stomach, you knew you were close to coming completely undone.

"I want you to cum for me." he whispered in your ear.

" Oh gods," you moaned as he pushed one of his fingers inside you. He kept circling your clit with his thumb as he pumped his finger inside you.

He pumped his finger a little harder and a little faster. You could feel you were on the edge. "Oh Gods, General," you screamed, as your muscles tightened around his fingers as you came.

He let out a low moan into your neck and kissed you again as he removed his finger. "Gods I want you so bad. The way you look, the way you smell, it driving me to distraction."

Just as he finished turning you around to face him, there was an interruption. Supreme Leader Snoke was needing to speak with him.  After he left. You went to the refresher and cleaned up. You didn't know what to think. He was suppose to be patient and not force the situation. This was definitely not being on his best behavior. You found him attractive and it was obvious you wanted him, but did you want to be with him.

When he left you could tell he wanted you to come with him, but you were not allowed. That is the only place you are not allowed to go with him. You had only spoken with the Supreme Leader once, and the task he gave you was taken care of with such efficiency that even he was impressed. Apparently, he had heard of your proclivities concerning potent powders.

You didn't see General Hux again until dinner. He seemed to be in a pleasant mood, maybe his meeting had went well or maybe it was the events that occurred before the meeting. Of course everything still seemed normal to everyone else, your calm demeanor was giving nothing away. Your insides though, was all twisted. You thought you could feel another panic attack coming on, he must of sensed it too, because he put his hand on your thigh, just below your hem line and he was whispering in your ear to breath and relax.

He walked you to your quarters, as was his custom, and you asked him to come inside. This was not the first time he had been in your quarters, he had been there enough to have his own chair.  You had decided to talk to him earlier that day, though you were no where near ready. What happened earlier, you knew would happen again and would only progress into something more. But you wanted your relationship defined first, and your concerns acknowledged and laid to rest. He knew why he was there. You just hoped that you would be able to say what you had to say and not make him very angry while doing it. You where so nervous, you hardly knew where to begin.

So you just started and hoped he wouldn't interrupt you until you were done. " General, I've given what you said a lot of thought. I've thought about this situation from all angles, I won't lie, I do have some concerns. But I am attracted to you and I have feelings for you and they out weigh my concerns." I was afraid to look at him, but I could see him nodding in agreement, so I continued. " I want you, all of you. I don't want to share you either. But I also think that we should take things a litter slower."

He sat there for a few moments, trying to formulate the right words, " I think taking our time and going slow is a good idea. I want to get to know you personally, as well as physically, eventually," he said with a smirk, " I don't want to rush you into anything you are not ready for. You will have me all of me. I don't want anyone else," he paused before continuing, " I know that you have concerns. Tell me them, so that I may ease your mind."

This could either go good or bad, but it was too late to stop now, "Our working relationship, I'm afraid it will change. If things were to go badly, how would we be able to work together?"

" You are always professional, (Y/N), I doubt anything would change that. Things are going to be different, but we will still be able to work together. It will be very hard for me, I can barley keep my hands off of you now, but that is something I will have to work out for myself. I don't think you will need to worry about things ending. I have never had any intentions of letting you go. What is mine is mine. I don't like to share either. Did you have any other concerns, my love?"

You knew he was possessive, but you did not expect that, but you continued on, " I have only one other concern," you said a little apprehensive, you knew that this could go really bad, if not done the right way, " I know of your past with other women, I helped get rid of most of them. I don't want to be like them, discarded after a week or two. You know I have no experience and I know of your preferences in the bedroom. I'm not sure I would want to do that sort of thing. I'm not saying I won't try it, I just don't know. I'm afraid I won't make you happy or keep you satisfied."

He came and sat down beside you and took your tiny hands into his much bigger ones. He looked serious, but there was warmth in his eyes. " You have nothing to worry about. Those girls, I discard them because I don't care about them. They served their purpose. I want you. I care about you. I have felt this way for two years, I will not change my mind. As for your lack of experience, I knew about that going into this, I will never make you do anything you don't want to do, only what you are comfortable with. I want to take care of you, protect you, give you everything you want. I want you to be beside me as we take over the galaxy."

You wasn't really sure how to respond to that, so you didn't. You nodded and let him take the lead. He bent down to kiss you. You felt his lips on yours and felt his tongue pressing against your bottom lip seeking entrance and you obliged. His hands were exploring your back and thighs, while you was running your fingers through is hair. Your tongues seemed to be wrestling for dominance and his was winning. The kiss seemed go deeper and deeper. Finally he pulled back, catching his breath.

You spent the next few hours with your head in his lap with him casually stroking your hair, while he was working on his data pad. You wasn't sure how this was going to go, but you knew that Kylo Ren was right, things will not be as he says, but he does love you. 

 


	4. The Storm Erupting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everybody that has read the story so far. Please let me know if I'm doing something wrong or if you have any suggestions.  
> I also want to give props to All-Things-Geeky. They made a video of General Hux set to Panic at the Disco's Emperor's New Clothes. It has served as a sort of muse to me while doing the next few chapters.

     Two weeks had passed since your relationship with the General had become official.  You both had settled into a somewhat normal routine.  You walked to breakfast together, to your office together, dinner together. He called you by your first name, you still called him General, only because he liked it.   Tongues wagged of course, but that was to be expected. Mostly from jealous females. You knew what most people thought of you and what they thought of the General. In fact, that was one of the first things he made you do after finding out of your telepathic abilities. He said it was a way to find spies. And you did, three in fact.  But you also found out that most of the women on board found the General very attractive, and wanted nothing more than to be ravaged by him. Of course, he found this amusing. He did ask why only most, you had to explain that there was a small group of females that only preferred the company of other females. He nodded and went about his day.

 

     He was true to his word, for the most part. During the working hours, things were as professional as they could be. Your eyes did tend to linger on him longer than they should.  He would find excuses to touch you. Commander Ren said the two of you  were worse than two love struck cadets at the academy.  There were a few occasions when things would get a little heated. Lieutenant Mitaka walked in on you a few times, with the General's hands up your skirt and his tongue down your throat.  Poor man, he was more afraid, than embarrassed. 

 

    Your evenings was spent together, in his quarters or yours, usually yours.  Again, he was true to his word, you took things as slow as you wanted, which wasn't as slow as you thought you would want to go, originally.  You liked doing things with him, exploring his body in every way possible.  Though you wasn't ready for sex with him, he made sure you were well satisfied. You didn't know there were so many ways to make someone have an orgasm.  As much as you liked that physical aspect of your relationship, you enjoyed cuddling with him the most. Usually, it was in your bed, while looking out at the stars.  It was during this time, that you would just talk and hold each other. You would talk about his childhood, your dark family history, but never the future. You knew you were falling for him, you didn't want to, but you couldn't help yourself.  He was your first boyfriend, you had always heard girls tended to fall hard for their first. You had always assumed that it would be that way for you, as well.  To end the day, you would fall asleep in his arms.  He would never stay the night with you, but he would never leave until after you fell asleep.  You hated it, waking up alone. But, you knew that was how it had to be. It was the way he wanted it.

 

 

    The day of the dinner party had arrived.  Your perfectionist tendencies was in overdrive.  You had been running in and out of the office all morning.  When you were in the office, you were screeching at whoever was on the end of you commlink.  In the corridors, crew members avoided you.  Even the General was avoiding you.  He knew how you could be, he had seen it all several times before.  You knew everything was going to be perfect, because that is how you do things, perfect.

 

    With only two hours to spare before the guests arrived, you briskly walked down the corridor towards your quarters.  You had too much to do and not a lot of time to do it in.  Lost in your own thoughts, you didn't hear the man coming from behind you, until you were being pulled into a closet.  You were just starting to panic when you caught a whiff of his cologne.  And then the lights came on.  You found yourself trapped, with your back against the wall and your shoulders being held in place by the General. 

 

    Looking up into his eyes, you said, " If you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was accompany me to my quarters."

 

    " That does sound nice.  Though, I like it in here better, not as easy for you to get away and we're less likely to be bothered," he said as he pushed you further into the wall, " I missed you today, you've been so busy."

 

    He bent down and started kissing you.  It was gentle at first, just his lips on yours, until his tongue gained entry into your mouth, things got heated, more passionate.  His hands, leaving your shoulders, trailed down either side of you body.  He slipped his left hand under your jacket and undershirt and started to palm your left breast through your bra.  His other hand was inching its way up you thigh, gently massaging as it went.  He lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist.  He started kissing you neck, lightly biting it, gently sucking on that special spot just below your earlobe.  You felt you knickers getting wet.  How could this act have such an effect on you.  " Oh General," you moaned as he continued.

 

     And then without any warning, he let you down.  As you slid down his body, you felt the rock hard bulge in his pants.  Looking up at him, you knew what he wanted, he didn't even have to ask. Never breaking eye contact with him, you dropped to your knees and undid his belt and trousers.  You reached inside and pulled out his cock.  You had heard that he was bigger and thicker than most, and from what you could see, it was true.  You started at the base, working your way up the shaft.  You swirled your tongue around the head, popping it in and out of your mouth several times before taking it all in.  He threw his head back, while moaning your name.  He started thrusting his hips, causing his cock to hit the back of you throat.  You continued to suck, as he started going faster, harder, you had to adjust to keep up.  You knew he was about to be over the edge. 

     "Oh Gods, (y/n). You're such a good girl. My good girl. Faster," he moaned, " I want you to take my cum, all of it." He fisted your hair, forcing you to go at he speed that would send him over the edge. "Oh fuck," he moaned, as he came.

 

    As he pulled his cock out and you swallowed his warm cum, you stood up and adjusted your uniform as he did the same.  Then you left the closest and he walked you to your quarters.  Before he let you go in, he pulled you to him and whispered into your ear, " I'll be here to pick you up in an hour." And getting even closer he continued, " Remind me later to have you show me that book you've been reading on how to give the best blow jobs. Maybe it has something else in that we can try later."  You smirked as you turned and went inside.  It was true, you had been reading a book about sex, you had told him about it.  He thought it was cute, you just wanted to be prepared.

 

    He came back for you in exactly one hour.  He looked absolutely gorgeous, he smelled intoxicating.  You loved they way the black of his uniform made his pale skin seem to glow. He was definitely a man that looked dead sexy in a uniform.  You could see him hold his breath as he looked you over, " You look beautiful, irresistible." he said gaining his composure. 

 

     You didn't think you looked half bad.  You were in direct contrast to what you are normally like.  Your dress was a low cut, long-sleeved,  white satin gown, with a slit that ended at your right mid-thigh.  You wore blue crystalized peep toe heels. Your hair was brushed back and left down.  You could tell the General liked what he saw. 

 

     " Before we go," he said, " I have a present for you. Close you eyes."

 

     You did as he commanded.  You felt him step behind you and put something around your neck.  With your eyes still closed, he pulled you somewhere.  When he told you to open your eyes, you were standing in front of a mirror and he was behind you. He had given you a beautiful diamond and Ranothian sapphire necklace, it matched your ring perfectly.  " Its beautiful," you said.

 

     " It matches your eyes,"  he whispered into your ear, " I can see that, I'm going to have a difficult time keeping my hands to myself tonight. Come, love, we need to meet our guests."

 

 

     There you stood in the landing bay.  The General was standing by your side with his arm around your waist.  Kylo Ren was on one side and Captain Phasma was on the other.  Storm Troopers flanked both sides.  You hated this formality, but the General wanted to impress. 

 

The cargo door of the guests ship came down and out they came.  The weapon's makers from Mikam, were tiny little men, they made you look like a giant.  They were older than you had imagined and they were terrified.  There were two men and a woman from Kuat-Entralla Engineering.  The men you knew and the woman you definitely knew.  She had been here a year ago, when the plans for the new space station had been proposed.  You remember the General taking a particular liking to her. You could tell she was hoping to resume where they had left off a year ago.  This was not turning out to be perfect.

 

     The dinner did go as you had planned, though, there were some hiccoughs along the way.  You did your job, sliding easily into conversation with everyone, all the while going through their minds.  The General, it seems, had taken offense to one of the gentlemen from Kuat-Entralla.  Kimne Lux had also been on board a year ago.  He had taken a fancy to you then and it only seems to only have intensified.  Of course, you got all that from his mind, how the General came by that information, you could only guess.  At any rate, you lost the use of your right hand, as the General had decided to keep it in his possession the rest of the night.  It is a good thing you are also adept at using your left hand.

 

 

     You met in his quarters to discuss what you had learned.  You laid down on the sofa with you head in his lap, while he ran his fingers through your hair.  His other hand was caressing your right thigh.  You loved spending time with him like this. Away from prying eyes. But something was different in his demeanor. He had something on his mind, making him angry.  Whatever it was, was making you very apprehensive.  You knew to proceed with caution. 

 

     " My love, did you enjoy the dinner party?" you nodded and he continued, " What did you learn?"

 

     " You have nothing to fear, love.  They are being completely honest with you. They have no love for the Resistance, they want to see its destruction as much as you."

 

     " What of the weapon?  Will it do what they say?"

 

     " Yes. I saw it in their minds. It is no Star Killer, but it will inflict serious damage.  With the weapon, no one will stand in your way."

 

     " Do they have any concerns?"

 

     " No"

 

     " What about Kimne Lux?  What was on his mind?"

 

     And there it was.  The calm was fading away and the storm was erupting.  How do you handle this.  You knew where this was going and there was no right way to handle it. So, you just go and hope for the best. You start down the path, " He thinks the weapon will fit nicely with the space station."

 

     His fist tightened in your hair.  This was not going well at all.  " Was that all, love?  I was sure his thoughts were lingering somewhere else," he said while tracing your collarbone with his other hand.

 

     You took deep breaths refusing to let him see your anger and terror, " You seem to already know the answer, Armitage, why don't you share it with me, so we'll both know."  You only used his first name when you were irritated with him.

 

     " He wants you.  I know it, everybody knows it.  I know you've been corresponding with him, innocent on your part, maybe, but not his."

 

     You managed to break free from his grip and sat up.  You saw fire in his eyes, but it was nothing compared to the fire that was inside you at this time.  " Innocent, maybe?  I've been nothing but professional with him and completely honest with you." 

 

     He grabbed your arm pulling you to him, " I don't share," he said coldly.

 

     Your anger building up, you pushed him away, " I don't share either.  Why don't we discuss Miss Lachte, and what was on her mind?  I seem to remember you being very fond of her.  I know her feelings have not changed, in fact, she was hoping to rekindle what once was. What about your feelings, have they changed?"

 

     As if on cue, someone buzzed at the door.  You already knew who it was, but he didn't.  It was Mireen Lachte, standing there in all her supposed beauty.  You couldn't see the General's face, but whatever expression he had, caused her customary smirk to disappear.  You instead, was the one smirking, " Well, love, I guess we will see just how much your feelings have changed." and you walked out.

 

     You were wondering how that woman got clearance to this level as you walked into your quarters.  And then you remembered, you had to grant her access last year so the General could have her.  You turned briefly, before closing and locking your door, to see her running down the hall.  Her clearance would definitely revoked.

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   


	5. Potent Powders

     The events of that night made the next few days very hard.  While Kimne Lux was on board, you were kept on a very short leash, you were barely able to perform your job.  If the General wasn't with you, Lieutenant Mitaka was. He was to "accompany" you around the ship when the General couldn't. You and the General only spoke if it pertained to work, at night you fell asleep alone and the you knew that he made troopers guard your door.  Mireen Lachte was no longer a problem. She had been banished from the Finalizer, her credentials, somehow, had disappeared.  The hardest part, was just being around him.  Dinner times were always hard, you sat in your usual seat next to him, but he barely acknowledged your presence. He was drinking more, so were you, but it didn't help.  All this was killing you inside.  Before, you kept telling yourself, your going to take it slow, everything, even your feelings, but that wasn't happening. You were like all the other girls with their first boyfriends, falling in love with them before they even knew them.  You was angry at everything, his words, the way he manhandled you, the way he was treating you now. But you should of known, deep down maybe you did know, but didn't want to admit it, that even though he cares for you, loves you, he would still treat you like the others.

 

     The guests left, after a very long week. You had hoped things would change, get back to normal.  No such luck.  The morning started out simple enough, you were at your desk, he at his. Occasionally, you would feel his eyes on you. You knew he wanted to talk to you, but he wasn't about to apologize, that's not something he does, and you would be damned if you were going to apologize first.  He had hurt you, you still had the bruises.  But Gods, you wanted him. What was wrong with you. You were being weak, like a simpering teenage girl.

 

     You heard him make a noise, like he going to speak, but he didn't get a chance.  There was an interruption.  Interruptions, you found were never good.  It was Dr. Beteeno.  He was a nice looking older man.  You had always liked him. He wasn't like the other members of the First Order.  He was a doctor first, and a military man second.  If he came here to see the General, it was not going to be good.  You didn't read his mind, but you could sense his uneasiness, his nervousness.  You could see the fear in his eyes as he glanced at you and then back at the General.  Always being a confident man, he was completely and utterly terrified. 

 

     "Dr. Beteeno, " the General started not looking up from his datapad, " What brings you here? I hope its nothing too serious. Commander Ren, hasn't been taking out his frustrations again, has he?"

 

     " No General, its nothing like that," the man started as the General looked up, " I'm not really sure, what to do, the ramifications are quite serious.  Miss Lau broke the rules."

 

     As soon as the name was uttered, I knew this was going to be bad.  Akeyo Lau was a data processor of middle rank, and she was the only ex-mistress of the General's to still be onboard the Finalizer.  They had been off and on for years, even before Star Killer Base.  She was the only person to make you nervous.  You knew the General always had the potential to go back to her, if only it was for one night, and you knew Akeyo Lau thought that as well, in fact she was hoping he would. The last time they were together was a little over two months ago. You had to tell her the General was tired of her, again. She took it well, she always did.

 

     " What exactly did she do, doctor?" The General asked.

 

     "General, she is pregnant. She stopped taking the mandatory birth control months ago. She deliberately got herself pregnant.  Under normal circumstances, I would have sent you a message regarding this situation, it has happened before, but, she is claiming the child is yours."

 

     Your head shot up, immediately.  You would give anything to see inside his mind right now.  You know he didn't want children, not now anyway.  What would this mean for you?  Would it be the final nail.  You had to get up, you couldn't sit there.  You felt the tears welling up in your eyes.  You didn't want him to see you cry.  So much had happened in just a few days and now this.  You went to the window, waiting for the doctor to leave.  You were trying so hard not to cry, its not something you did in front of anyone, not even the General.  Your mother had taught you that ladies cried in private.  The tears started falling as you looked at his reflection behind you in the window.

 

     He put his arms around you.  You could feel his breath on your neck as he lowered his head to kiss your cheeks, kissing the tears away.  You interlaced your fingers with his and rested your head on his chest.  You stayed that way for a long time, at least an hour.  You knew things were not better, not by a long shot, but just being close to him, made you feel ok.  Eventually this would need to be discussed, you dreaded that.  You knew it would not be good for you, either way.

 

     Finally you whispered, " What do you want me to do?"

 

     He brought up your right hand to his lips and gently kissed it.  Playing with your ring, he said,  " What you do best, love, make the problem go away."

 

    

     You had trouble sleeping that night.  Your life was in such disarray.  Your relationship with the General was slowly dying and nothing was being done to fix that.  His ex- mistress purposely got pregnant, hoping to finally get the man she wanted. And you were being asked to make that problem go away.  Were you really going to do this?  You've never liked doing it, you've only had to do this two other times.  But you felt so dirty afterwards, surely the General wouldn't make you do it, if he knew how it made you feel. 

 

     You were sitting on the sofa, looking out at the stars.  You heard your door open with a _whoosh._ You didn't even need to look up to know it was him.  He was the only one brazen enough to come into your quarters without permission.  He had his great coat and hat in his gloved hands.  He sat down next to you, pulling you into him.  You rested your head on his shoulder.

 

     You opened your mouth to speak, but he stopped you, " I'm leaving soon, Supreme Leader Snoke  is sending me on a errand.  I didn't want to leave without seeing you.  I didn't want to leave with things the way they are.   There are many things to discuss, but not enough time now.  I want you to know that I do care about you and that I have been miserable these last few days.  I miss laying with you, watching you sleep.  I've never felt like this about anyone before.  I'm not sure what I should do at times.  I know my normal behavior isn't always the right way with you."  He stopped for a moment and then continued, " I haven't much time, Ren will be in charge, you will report to no one but him.  Just do things the way you've always done.  If anyone gives you a problem, Ren will take care of it.  I shouldn't be gone no more than two days.  I trust that the other situation will be handled in that amount of time."

 

     Before you had a chance to say anything, his lips were on yours, violently kissing you, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth.  His hands roaming your body.  But as quickly as he started, he pulled back just as quick.  " Love, I've got to go now, but this will be finished when I return."

 

     Relief rippled through your body.  Maybe things were going to get better.  There was still a long way to go.  Everything with him had moved so quickly, your physical relationship, your feelings.  You wondered if he felt the same.  He promised, he would go as slow as you had wanted.  It was you that had initiated the steps in your physical relationship. You hadn't had sex with him, you wasn't ready for that.  But things were not turning out the way he had said that they would, you may not have a choice in the matter when he returns.  The one thing you did know, was that your feelings for him were deeper than you thought they should be at that point.  Maybe it was because you had known him for a long time or maybe you have always been attracted to him, had feelings for him.  You knew the truth, but you would never admit it.

 

 

     The morning reared its ugly head and along with it was a horrible feeling of dread.  Today was the day. You had decided to get it over with quickly and not to dawdle.  The task at hand had to be done.  There was no amount of preparation that would ready you for it.  You went to your cabinet.  You had a few choices, you didn't want her to be in pain and you didn't want it to be a long drawn out process either.  The one you chose would only take a few hours to work and it would seem natural.  You readied the powder in your ring and off you went.

 

     She was already there, waiting in your/his office.  The first of the leggy blondes.  She had been his paramour for the longest even thought he had others throughout.  You really did not like her.  She was tall and blonde and she was, as much as you hated to admit it, very pretty.  She thought too much of herself though. She thought she was above reproach since she had an affair with the General, that she could get by with whatever she wanted. 

 

     "Miss Lau, I'm so glad you could come on such short notice.  I hope you are feeling better, Dr. Beteeno said you were having terrible morning sickness," you said letting her hear the obvious distaste in your voice.

 

     " Yes, well, I find it rather amusing I'm having to have this conversation with you.  The new mistress talking to the old mistress about her unborn child.  But then, you may not be his mistress for much longer.  The General would never turn away from the mother of his child not even for you.  I have to admit, I was surprised when I learned he had finally gotten you.  He may be madly in love with you, but that's not enough to keep him.  Everyone knows of his proclivities and that you are too sweet and innocent for such things.  You can't handle him, you never will be able to, that's why he will always come back to me."

 

     You smiled, dismissing most of what she said, just jealous diatribe, " Well, I'm not his mistress, that would mean he is hiding me away, keeping me a secret. Our relationship is very much public knowledge, even Supreme Leader Snoke knows of it.  But, we are not here to discuss my relationship.  The General has asked me to discuss with you the arrangements for you and your unborn child."

 

     " Shouldn't I be discussing this with him?  It is our business, not really yours."

 

     " I am the General's assistant, he thinks differently.  Now, Miss Lau, you will keep your position until condition warrants a change. At that time, you will be sent away to Arkanis."

 

     " Why Arkanis, why not Ranoth or Targa, someplace beautiful, where the sun actually shines?"

 

     " Arkanis is the General's home world, he wishes for his child to be born there.  Now, as I was saying, once the child has been proven to be his, he will acknowledge it.  He will take care of the child, it will want for nothing."

 

     " What about me?  What if I don't agree to the agreement?"

 

     " Well, in that case, you will be kept here, in a cell until the baby is born,then you will be disposed of."

 

     She just sat there in shock, obviously she thought she would be getting more out of this deal.  " Miss Lau, you look like you could use some water."

 

 

     You were on your way to your quarters, when Dr. Beteeno came across your commlink.  I was needed in the med bay, there was an emergency.  You knew what the trouble was.  If you had any qualms about what you were doing, it went away once you peaked inside her mind.  You saw memories of her and Armitage. It really was enough to make you sick.  You knew that she wouldn't be in much pain, just cramps.  You did use the lest harsh one.

 

     She was laying in a bed in the corner, violently sobbing.  The doctor was explaining the situation to you. He called it a miscarriage, it was more like an involuntary abortion.  You slid into her mind.  _She felt hopeless.  The baby was the one way to get him back that's all she wanted. To be with him.  She hated you.  She knew he loved you, he thought of you when he was fucking her, but this was her way to get him back and now it was gone._

 

     You walked over to her bed.  She looked at you with tears running down her face.  Maybe you should show some compassion or concern, but you just couldn't.

 

    " You did this to me," she cried, I had heard the rumors about you and your family, but I never thought you could bring yourself to do such a thing, you were so jealous of me, knowing that he would never abandon me and that I was having the child he always wanted.  He'll kill you for this. I'll tell the doctor what you did, he'll tell Commander Ren.  He'll put you in a cell until Armitage gets back.  I'll make sure he kills you slow."

 

     The poor delusional creature.  No one really cared about her.  But you knew you had to do something.  She was going to tell the doctor, he would run tests, it possibly being the General's child and all.  Not all your powders were untraceable, this was one of them.  You knew you had to act and fortunately you came prepared.  She was so busy detailing the moment of your death, that she didn't notice you put another potent powder in her water.

 

     A little later, Dr. Beteeno came across your commlink, another emergency.  You put on a pair of pants and sweater and rushed to the med bay.  This time you were not alone, Kylo Ren was there.  The both of you watched as two doctors and five nurses worked to save her.  It was a bloody mess, you could see the blood just pumping out of her.  Three minutes later she was dead.  There really wasn't anything to say, so you just walked away.

 

    The office lights were at half power, you really didn't want them any higher.  Did she deserve to die, probably not. Did she deserve to die like that, in pain, awake the whole time, feeling every bit of it. Feeling the blood seeping out of her and knowing that nobody could help her, she wished it on you, would she have felt bad, probably not.  You had to do it, she wasn't going away. The doctor would have investigated, her family was powerful, you doubt the General could have saved you from what they would have done to you.  She would of done it to you, if she could.  She wanted to.  She wanted to ruin everything.  You had no choice, you kept telling yourself.  

 

     Kylo Ren came in.  His face showed no emotion.  He sat down in the chair next to yours.  " The General is on his way.  The doctor thought he should know.  He will be here within the hour, he had finished early and was already on his way.  What happened, I know it was no accident."

 

     Rather than talk about it, I let him into my mind.  I let him see everything, the fights with the General, the situation with the late Akeyo Lau.  You hated the feeling of him in your mind, but you trusted him, he wouldn't go searching, he would just take what you let him have.

 

     After he left your mind, he said, "  You should know, he is very angry.  The doctor told him all of the details, the miscarriage, her suffering before she died."

 

     " Why? Why, would he be angry. I did what he told me to do."

 

     We sat in silence. It was always one step forward, one million steps back.  Your world was crumbling down around you, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.  Your composure was failing.  You knew you was losing it, you could feel it.  Ren entered your mind again, but you didn't care.  You heard him telling you to relax, to breath, some of his Jedi mind tricks.  But it did work.  You felt yourself able to breath normal, you felt yourself calming.

 

     " What should I have done?" you asked him quietly.

 

     " You did what you had to do.  I had seen her mind before and know that she would have never stopped.  She would of done whatever she could to get rid of you.  Her jealousy of you overshadowed everything.  She never cared about the baby she was carrying, it was just a means to get him.  She wanted you out of the picture, that is all she cared about."

 

     " She may get her wish."

 

     He shook his head, " You are his.  He may talk to you hatefully, treat you harshly, but he will never let you go.  Remember, he needs you.  Just prepare yourself for the hard times ahead.  You love him, I can see it in your eyes, in your mind, I can feel it.  The days ahead will be very trying. Just remember to keep your temper.  I may not be able to help you, but I will try."

 

     " What would you have done?"

 

     " Knowing what I know, the same thing. She really didn't deserve to live."

 

     " Well, its good to know that I'm surrounded by a torturous, murderous lot,"  The General said as he walked to his desk, you hadn't even heard him come in.

 

     He motioned for Kylo Ren to leave, and then focused his full attention on you.  He had been angry at you, but not like this, it was unsettling.  Your anxiety was so high, it was a struggle not to let him see it.

 

     " Did you think that because I love you, and I want to share my bed with you, that it would be okay for you to go behind my back and murder that girl?"  you just sat there, there really wasn't anything you could say, he continued, " Not only did you murder her, you let her suffer, Dr. Beteeno told me the details, the amount of pain she was in, the amount of suffering she went through, no one should have to go through that, no matter what they did.  I had to tell her family. They want her death looked into. Apparently, they are familiar with you and your families proclivities.  I smoothed things over, of course. Really, what were you thinking?"

 

     " I did as you told me to, I handled the situation, but another one arose, so I handled it as well, she threatened me.  Being put to death on Ranoth, is not something I would like to endure."

 

     " I would have taken care of her threats."

 

     " It wasn't just her threats, Armitage. I saw inside her mind. She was never going away.  She was going to ruin you, us, everything."

 

     " That is not the point, (Y/N). I am still your superior officer, you should not have acted on your own accord.  I told you to go to Ren if you had any problems.  You left her to suffer, I would have never let you do that.  You had other poisons, that would not have done that to her, if it had come to that. Ren could have changed her mind, I could have changed her mind."

 

     This was going nowhere. He wasn't wanting to listen to reason. He couldn't see you trying to protect him, or maybe he didn't want to see it. Maybe he did harbor some feeling for her.  He was making you out to be some cold hearted monster, that delighted in seeing her suffer.  You didn't delight in it, but it  really didn't bother you either.  He wasn't there, he didn't see what you did or what Kylo Ren did.  You got up, you couldn't stand sitting there any longer and having him stare at you with his cold blue eyes.  So you went over to the table for a glass of water, wishing it was something stronger.

 

     " Armitage, would you like some water?"

 

     " No, love, taking water from you is hazardous to one's health, and I do value my life."

 

     You didn't realize what you had done until you heard the crash.  Then you saw it, a wet wall, a wet general, water and glass on the floor.  Apparently you threw the water decanter at him, barely missing him.  You just walked out, not saying a word.  You did, however manage to get your datapad and put in a request for shore leave. It was accepted five minutes later.

 

    

    

 

 


	6. Someone That You Can Love

     Ranoth, the planet of you birth.  Probably not the best place to come, since the girl you murdered is from here, as well.  Her funeral was the day before you arrived.  You knew you would not see her family, they were from the mountains on the other side of the planet.  Your family lived by the sea.  You had wanted to come home since the moment the General professed his feelings for you.  You had talked to your mother, but you needed to be here, you got you strength from here. 

 

    Your mother was not at home, being on the neighboring planet of Targa.  You were disappointed, but maybe it was for the best.  You really did want to be alone, to wallow in your own sadness and pity.  You stayed in your room for a week, barely eating, sleeping less.  When you did sleep your dreams were troubled.  You would be looking for something and couldn't find it and all around you, all you could hear is a woman screaming and babies crying.  You had been crying so much, your eyes were hurting, how could someone have so many tears for something that had just begun.  Your heart was broken.  You felt so hopeless, like you were in a bottomless pool, sinking, and no energy to get back up to the top.

 

     You wondered how you fell this hard so fast.  You knew you loved him, maybe always had in some way.  You knew you were just like the others, weak.  They all loved him, or at least they thought they did. Most loved the power, a few, like you , were naïve in the ways of love and fell for him because they didn't know any better.  So like a teenager, you fell for the first man to look at you, too stupid to see the truth.  What was the truth in your situation.  You were told he loved you, did he show it, not in the ways that you thought.   You were told his words would not always be what he says, that was true.  The cruelness, the possessiveness, the jealously, all this was the truth of your relationship.  Despite the horrible truth, you loved him, making you a weak fool.

 

     You found yourself thinking about him, constantly.  Wondered what he was doing, if he was with another woman.  Was he miserable like you?  It was doubtful, he hadn't talked to you before you left and he hasn't tried to contact you since.  He just discarded you, like the others.  This thought brought fresh tears and fits of hysterical laughter.  You knew these hysterics were being heard all over your manor house.  You knew the servants thought you were mad.  Maybe you were.  You completely destroyed your room, shattering mirrors and ripping curtains and bedding.  After you calmed down a few hours later, one brave servant brought you a glass of wine.  After twenty minutes, you started feeling the unmistakable signs of a dreamless sleep powder, before your brain could process everything you were asleep.

 

 

     The sun was shining in on you when you woke up.  You looked around the room, somewhat confused. There must of been some kind of memory powder mixed in with the concoction from last night.  You remember why you are home, but there was no pain.  You vaguely remember some sort of hysterical outburst, but everything seemed to be corrected now.  You couldn't seem to grasp at any kind of memory, everything seemed distorted.  Everything was so jumbled and blurry, like you were trying to remember the events of some drunken night.  You knew that you were supposed to be feeling heartbroken, devastated, but none of the feelings were there.  And you felt perfectly okay with this.  You looked around your room, it was clean and there were some clothes laid out for you in the corner.  You looked outside, it was the afternoon, you must have slept the day away.  That must of been a doozy of a potion, you felt like you were in some sort of trance.  Your datapad went off, breaking the trance.  It was a message from your mother.

 

     _The servants just informed me that you are awake.  I was beginning to get worried, it has been two days.  I thought that maybe they had measured wrong.  You are probably trying to figure out why you feel the way you do.  Well, it is a concoction of my own to deal with situations like yours, I was your age once after all.  A dreamless sleeping powder, a memory powder, and a very potent calming powder.  You should be calm for days.  I think you should consider using this particular one on a regular basis.  Anyway, you are no longer to stay in your room all day.  I have sent the servants an itinerary, they will lay out your clothes appropriately and you will do as they say.  If you do not, you will hear from me.  I do not expect to see you when I come home.  Things will work out for you, if you look past certain things and see the truth.---Much Love, Your Mother._

 

     So you did as you was told.  You got up and got ready. The servants had prepared for you to have dinner in the garden.  It really was your favorite place on your families estate.  It was twilight, you could hear the sea in the distance, it was a calm sea tonight, relaxing.  The aroma of the flowers permeated through the air.  You were sitting in the dark garden.  All the flowers here were of the night blooming variety.  Moonlight Roses, Twilight Jasmine.  If this is what it is to be like, maybe your mothers plans would not be that bad.

 

     You couldn't really say if the next three days were good or bad.  You were kept so busy you had no time to think.  Your clothes were laid out for you and everywhere you went was a surprise.  The only people that came with you were servants.  Two of them were girls your age, that you played with when you were young, the other was Nikene, she was the head of the house staff and had been with the family since your mother was a young girl. She was acting as chaperone.  You went sailing, to various museums, shopping, went on picinics, went to two shows, both musicals.  It really seemed never ending.  It was fun though, you forgot that you could have fun, everything on the Finalizer was so serious, it was the nature of the job you guessed.  When you were out and about with the girls, you felt like a normal person for once.  You laughed and talked about the boys you saw, just like normal girls.  You really wanted to be normal, have a normal life, but that would not be the case since you were in the First Order.

 

     On the fourth day, at breakfast, you finally had a chance to catch up on the news.  There had been a few skirmishes with the Resistance, the Finalizer was not involved, but the First Order was successful none the less.  More planets had bowed down and more bases had been set up.  The First Order was indeed growing.  A lot can happen, it seems, in a week and four days.  There was something that did pique your interest.  The Finalizer was at Targa and had been for two days.

 

     Well then, that settled it.  He was this close to you and had not even bothered to contact you.  A definite sign things were done.  Would you even be going back to the Finalizer or would he have you transferred somewhere else.  There wasn't even a return date on your travel orders.  You had always assumed you would  be contacted when he wanted you to come back, maybe not for him, but for your job.  You were waiting for the tell-tale signs of a panic attack, but they never came.  Your whole world was coming down around you and you were just as calm as you had been for days.  You knew your mother was right, you would be needing more of that calming powder.

 

     That day you went to the beach, into town for more shopping, and another play.  It was their goal to keep you extremely busy that day, giving you no time to think about anything.  It was very late when you got home.  You were on your balcony when the servant brought the dreamless sleep powder infused wine.  It didn't take long for it to take effect.  You fell asleep right there in your lounge chair, still in the dress you wore to the play.  Sometime in the early morning, your sleep was disturbed.  You heard a voice in your ear, " Love, don't you think you should go to bed, it is a little chilly out here, I would hate for you to catch cold."

 

     You were still under the influence of the sleeping powder.  Your eyes would not open, but your mind was semi-awake trying to make sense out of what was happening.   You knew you was being carried, by a man, maybe.  You weren't so big that a woman couldn't carry you, but the voice sounded like a man's.  You felt yourself being put on the bed, but your mind sensed him, he was still there.  You felt him tugging at your clothes, what was he doing, your mind was still weak with sleep, you tried to read him but you could not.  You still could not open your eyes, but you did try to make him stop. You tried to speak, but he man wouldn't let you.

 

     The man whispered in your ear again, " Don't worry, love, I'm not going to hurt you, I would never hurt you. I' m just getting you ready for bed," he kissed your forehead and your body and mind relaxed, you were soon asleep again.

 

     You woke up, you really wasn't sure what time it was.  You were growing a little tired of being drugged every night, you were going to have to tell them to stop.  It seems you remember someone helping you to bed, but in your state you couldn't be sure, but here you were in your bed.  Was it a man, you seemed to remember a man.  You were still sitting in your bed, when something caught your eye, a man's shadow on your  balcony.  You got up to peak outside, but from your position, you couldn't see anything.  You tried to peak inside his mind, but you couldn't it was blocked.  There was only two people that could block you out and you knew without a doubt that the man on your balcony was not Kylo Ren.  So, you grabbed a robe and went outside to face the music.

 

     There he was, sitting at the table, drinking tea and looking at his datapad.  He wasn't dressed, he was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a black undershirt.  His hair, however, was perfectly slicked back.  He was gorgeous, just sitting there, in the sun.  It was very rare to see him in this setting, natural and in the outdoors.  You must of made some sort of noise, because he looked up from his datapad and looked at you.  You had never in all your life been more thankful for that calming powder.

 

     "I was beginning to think that you would sleep all day." he said motioning for you to sit, " I was worried that they gave you too much.  Its no wonder you were so out of it last night, they told me that they have been giving it to you every night.  I told them that you would not need it any longer."

 

     " It was my mother's idea." you said quietly, " I was having some difficulties and she thought it would help.  Have you been here all night?"

 

     " Yes, love.  I found you asleep over there," he said pointing to the lounge chair.

 

     You chuckled softly, " I wasn't expecting you. I would have stayed up and waited.  Why..." you started, but decided not to finish. You wanted to know why he was there, get to the root of it, but you were afraid to ask, not knowing how he would react.

 

     " I wanted to surprise you.  And as to the reason why I'm here, I thought it time you come back. Many things are happening and I need you,"  he said. Well, at least he needs you for work, you thought as he continued, " I need you to come back, (y/n), and be with me.  I shouldn't have let you stay gone this long, I shouldn't have let you leave to begin with.  I should have made you stay, so we could work through things."

 

     " We were both angry, things would have gotten worse before they got better."

 

     " Maybe.  But it doesn't matter now. It's in the past.  I know I upset you.  I still stand by what I said, you should not have acted so rashly without talking to me first.  I know it hurt you when I implied that you would ever do me harm.  That was uncalled for and I am sorry."

 

     You lowered your head and said quietly, " I apologize for reacting the way I did.  I usually don't have a bad temper.  I could have seriously hurt you."

 

     He moved his chair closer to you and grabbed your hands, " (Y/N), I provoked you. I've done many things to hurt you and you were at your breaking point.  I deserved it.  I want to start all over with you, let me show you that I can be someone you can love. Please, (y/n), let me show you."

 

     You listened to him, watched him.  He was being sincere, he really believed in what he was saying.  He wanted to be the man you wanted him to be, but you knew that he was always going to be the man he is.  But to be with him, and you wanted to be with him, you would have to put that aside.  Deal with his ways, see past them and see the man he is.  The General never apologized and he never begged, but here he was doing both, for you. He did love you, it was apparent and you felt it.   As your mother said, you saw the truth, the basic truth; you loved him, wanted to be with him and to do that accept him the way he is, work around it.

 

     He watched as you crawled into his lap, straddling him.  Your short nightgown had risen to your upper thighs.  He took full advantage of the situation by running his hands up and down them.   You ran your hands through his hair and moved closer to his face, " Armitage, I love you. I think I always have in some ways.  You are the man I love.  I want to be with you, start all over with you."

 

     You felt his hands on your bare skin slowly moving up your back and slightly pushing you forward until your lips touched his.  You started kissing him, raising yourself up on your knees so you were towering above him.  You slid your tongue past his parted lips, wrestling with his for dominance.  His hands were gently squeezing your ass, as he quietly moaned into your mouth.

 

     You pulled away to catch your breath.  You lowered yourself to be eye level with him.  He pulled you to him and started kissing your neck. His warm breath sending shivers up your spine.  He whispered into your ear, " Sweetheart, I can do wondrous things to you in this chair, but I think we should go inside."

 

     You agreed and got up.  He stood up towering over you. " (Y/N), before we go inside, are you sure you want to do this?"

 

     You nodded, grabbed his hand and led him into your bedroom.  You pushed him down onto your bed and climbed up his body, peppering him with kisses as you made your way up to neck.  You loved the way he smelled it was particularly strong around his neck.  You nibbled his ear, flicking the lobe with your tongue.  Your hand was massaging the already rock hard bulge in his pants.  And then without any warning he flipped you on your back.  He grabbed your hands and held them above your head.  His blue eyes were looking into yours. "(Y/N), are you sure you absolutely sure you want to do this, once we start there is no turning back."  You nodded as he pulled you up and pulled your gown over your head.  You helped him as he undressed, pulling his shirt over his head running your hands over his abs and down his hips as you pulled down his pants, letting his already hard cock out from its hiding spot.

 

     He crashed back into you, hungrily kissing you, pushing you down onto the bed. You let out a soft moan, as his lips found your neck, kissing it, swirling his tongue around you earlobe and gently biting you as he made his way to your collarbone.  His right hand cupped your breast, squeezing it, pinching your already hard nipple.  His lips worked their way down your sternum to your breasts.  As his tongue swirled around your nibbles and he continued to squeeze them with his left hand, his right hand moved down between your thighs and massaged your already wet cunt.  You moaned and arched your back as his fingers rubbed you clit.

 

    You moaned as one finger entered you and then another. You pulled him down on you kissing him as he slowly started pumping is fingers.  You ran your nails down his back as he pumped faster, " Do you like this, sweetheart?  I want you to moan for me."

 

     " I want you inside of me," you moaned as he continued to pump his fingers faster.

 

     " Patience, sweetheart, I'm not ready yet."  He smirked, as he slid down your body. Your eyes locked as his head ducked  between your legs.

 

     " Oh Gods, " you screamed fisting the sheets as his tongue ran the length of you slit and swirling around your clit.  You arched your back as he continued to work his magic.  He entered you with his tongue, darting around, exploring your depths.  He slid one of his fingers inside working in tandem with his tongue.  His thumb circled around your clit.  You bucked up your hips as his tongue and hand fell into a faster rhythm.  You felt yourself close to the edge as his pace went even faster. 

 

     " (Y/N), I want you to cum for me." you heard him say and you obliged.

 

     " Oh Gods, Armitage, " you screamed as you felt your muscles clinch as you came.

 

     You tasted your own bitter juices on his tongue as he kissed you. " I love hearing you scream my name, love.  I want you. I want to be inside of you."  he whispered into your ear.

 

     He grabbed your hands and put them above your head.  He positioned himself at your entrance.  He looked into your eyes and bent down and gently kissed you.  He raised up, still looking into your eyes, he said, " I love you, ( Y/N). I promise I'll try to make this as painless as possible."  But you wasn't nervous, you haven't be for days.

 

     You nodded, giving him the okay.  He kissed you as he thrust himself inside of you.  You let out a small whimper and slightly winced as the pain shot through you as his cock filled you up.  He paused giving you a chance to adjust and get used to his size.  Slowly, he began to thrust inside of you, moaning with each thrust.  The pain quickly gave way to pleasure.  You moaned as you felt all new pleasurable sensations.

 

     " Fuck, (y/n) your so tight, you feel so good."

 

     He lifted your ankles onto his shoulders, pushing his cock deeper inside you.  You knew at his angle it wouldn't be long until you both were over the edge.  Sensing it too, he moved your legs to around his waist.  You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He moaned as you hips started thrusting to match his own rhythm. 

 

     You could feel it in your stomach that you were close.  He started pounding into you harder and faster.  You were so close, " Oh Gods, I'm going to cum," you screamed.

 

     " Cum with me, love." he whispered into your ear, nipping your earlobe as he pulled back.  His thrusts became more deliberate, more forceful.  With a few more your felt your muscles tighten around his cock and his final thrust sent you over both over the edge, both of you moaning in complete ecstasy.  He slowly pulled out of you and collapsed on the bed beside of you. You wasn't sure what time it was, but you both fell asleep in each other arms.

 

     The next morning found you awakened by your servants packing your bags.  The General was sitting in the corner, already dressed, working from his datapad.  As soon as he saw that you were awake, he came to your side of the bed. " Good morning, sweetheart. I thought it was high time we got you home," he said bending down to kiss your forehead, " I've missed you so much, I don't think that I'll ever let you leave again."

 

     Most people would think that he was joking, but for some reason, you didn't think he was. 

 

     The Finalizer was chaotic, but it always is.  The General went up to the bridge and you were told to go to your quarters to unpack. Lieutenant Mitaka was to accompany you with your luggage.

 

     As you got to your door, you noticed the Lieutenant continue on down the corridor, " Lieutenant," you called after him, " my quarters are here."

 

     He looked at you nervously, " Um, Commander, well, you see, the General has moved your quarters."  he closed his eyes waiting for the explosion.

 

     Calming powders are a wonderful thing.  " Well then, where is my new quarters to be?"

 

     Th-th- the General , th-th- thought that it would be best if you shared quarters, ma'am."

 

     _What the hell,_ you thought.  He has completely lost his mind, if he thought that this was a good idea.

 

      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry if this chapter sucked. This had to be the hardest chapter ever to write.


	7. His

     He was in your shared office, looking over the plans of the new space station.  He looked up as you sat down in a chair across from him.  You were calm and collected as you had ever been, but you were taken aback a little by your new living situation.  As much as you wanted to let it go, over look it. You knew you were staying put, he would not move you back, but you wanted him to know that you should have been consulted first. 

 

     " Sweetheart, surely you have not unpacked already. I didn't expect to see you until dinner."

 

     " I haven't unpacked yet."

 

     " But I told you to."

 

     " I'm going to, but I wanted you to explain why you moved my things into your quarters, without telling me or even asking me."

 

     You saw his facial expression change, slightly, someone else may not have even noticed.  He walked around his desk, dropping to his knees in front of you, taking your hands into his, " I did it because it is what I want.  You will see that it is the right decision. You love me," you nodded and he continued, " and I love you, this is, naturally, the next step."

 

     He was squeezing your hands pretty hard now. You knew it would be unwise to continue this path.  It would just make him angrier and make you angry.  Commander Ren had told you before not to lose your temper.  You knew you had to placate him with the words he wanted to hear and still try to get your point across and just hope everything works out.

 

     " I agree, love. It is the next step. I would have just liked to have a little warning.  Poor Lieutenant Mitaka, I embarrassed him terribly."

 

     His grip on your hands relaxed and then tightened again as he pulled you down into the floor with him.  You felt his breath on you neck as he whispered, " I'm sorry, sweetheart, I should have told you."  He started kissing your neck, hitting that spot that he knows drives you mad.  You softly moaned as he continued the assault on your neck.  Just as his hand was moving up your thigh, his door buzzed.  It was Captain Phasma.

 

     You left the two of them to unpack.  You wanted to cry, but couldn't. You wanted to be angry, but couldn't.  All the feeling you should be having, you wasn't.  Was it the calming powder or have you finally come to terms with the status quo.  Your mother had been right, looking past things would make things easier.  Him being happy, would in turn make you happy.  You loved him, you knew this.  He loved you, he just wanted you on his own terms.  He was a controlling man, cold and calculating.  He was that way in everything he did,  why did you think that he would be any different with you. 

 

     " I told you not to lose you temper," you heard a voice from behind you say.

 

     " Commander Ren," you said as you turned to face him, " I didn't hear you enter.  And besides, I don't think my temper had anything to do with this." you said motioning around the room.

 

     " I have to say taking a calming powder has done wonders for your attitude.  I half expected to visit someone in the med bay.  But you took the change very well.  This," he said motioning around the room, " would have happened, you leaving, just made it happen just a little quicker.  He was in a very dark place while you were away, darker than before.  If it had gone on much longer, I don't know what would have happened."

 

     " I suppose he told you all this, his feeling and such."

 

     " Not in so many words.  I do know, he doesn't want you to leave again.  This is his way to ensure that it does not happen.  I told you his words will not always be what he says.  He will say things to appease you, to make you happy. But he will always do what he wants."

 

     " You say he loves me, then why does he treat me like a possession.  Why not treat me as he did before?"

 

     " It is his way.  You knew he would be this way. You knew how he was before you started down this path. Despite all of his ways, you fell in love with him. " he looked at you, " If you love him, is it really that bad?  He will give you everything you want.  You just have to trust the man you know.  Before you started down this path with him, did he do anything to put you in danger, did he ever mistreat you.  He always treated you as his, that has never changed.  Do you think that other men did not look at you, were not attracted to you.  Everyone knew you were his."

 

     The weeks passed and Kylo Ren was right, things really wasn't that bad.  In fact it was almost like your relationship had started over.  The days you spent working, nights you spent together.  He lavished affection on you, there was not doubt.  He bought you presents, jewelry, nik-naks, he even bought you a kitten, you named Millicent.  Life was indeed good.

 

     Life in the First Order was good as well.  Whole systems were bending to our will.  The resistance was losing.  There numbers were down and nobody really wanted to replace those that had fallen.  Their bases were becoming scattered. When the new space station was completed, their fall would be eminent.

 

     As with all things, good times must come to an end.  As it happened, there was a problem with the new space station.  You did not understand the details.  But, you gathered that it had to do with weapon that was to go in it.  You actually did not have much to do with the space station or any communications regarding it.  The General thought it would be in the best interest of everyone, if you let someone else handle it.  You knew his reasons, but you agreed, none the less.  You knew it really was for the best.

 

     The members from Kuat- Entralla Engineering, overseeing the construction of the space station, would  be coming aboard for a week.  Kimne Lux would be among them.  You were told in no uncertain terms to stay away from him.  Again, you knew why, but you didn't argue the point.  You didn't really want to see him anyway.  He made you a little nervous, especially since you knew what went through his perverted little mind.

 

     The week was almost over and you had not seen anyone from Kuat-Entralla.  The morning of the day before they were to leave, found you and the General in your shared office, you were taking notes for a memorandum he wanted to send out later that day.  There was a buzz at he door.  It was the people from Kuat-Entralla, including Kimne Lux.  You had asked the General if he wanted you to leave, but he said no.  So, you went to your desk in the corner.

 

     You was glad that none of them acknowledged you, but Kimne Lux' s thoughts betrayed him.  You were keeping your head down doing your work when you heard a commotion across the room.  You looked up just in time to see the General holding Kimne Lux against the wall by his throat.  You were up in a second, rushing over to them.  As you reached them, you saw the anger in the General's face, it frightened you a little, you still tried to stop him.  Fortunately, Captain Phasma and a few other stormtroopers came in.  The Captain managed to break it up, just in time.  You were sure Kimne Lux was moments from passing out.

 

     You told the Captain to take the guests to their ship and keep them there until further notice.  Once they left, you and the General were alone.  You could feel the anger radiating from him.  You walked over to him, he was still standing by the wall.  You opened your mouth to speak, but before you could, his lips were on yours, violently kissing you.  You didn't have time to adjust, before he was lifting you off of your feet.  You wrapped your legs around his waist as he moved you over to his desk.

 

     His lips started moving down your neck.  He started to unbutton your uniform jacket, but getting frustrated, he just tore it off.  He paused briefly to remove his own jacket and crashed his lips back into your neck.  His hands were pushing your skirt up higher on your hips.  His right hand pushed your already wet knickers aside and started rubbing his thumb on your clit.  As one of his finger entered you and then another, he bit down on your neck, causing you to let out a loud moan, making him bite down harder.  As his fingers were pumping faster and harder, you felt yourself coming undone. As your muscles clinched down on his fingers and you came, he bit down again on your neck, adding to a whole new sense of pleasure to what you were already experiencing.

 

     He pushed you down on the desk, a little hard, causing you to hit your head, but he didn't stop. As he moved his hands from under your skirt, he removed your knickers as well.  You heard his belt clink and the rustle of fabric as his trousers slid down. He pulled you closer to him and the edge of the desk.  You moaned as he pushed his cock inside of you.  Again, he didn't give you time to adjust, he grabbed your hips, pushing his cock harder into you.  His rhythm was erratic and harsh. You bucked your hips into him as you were finally able to match is rhythm.  You closed your eyes. You knew that you both couldn't hang on much longer at this pace. 

 

     "Fuck (y/n), I'm going to cum," he moaned as he made his final push.  As he came, you felt your whole body tremble as your own climax came upon you.

 

     Now that it was over, you felt all the pain that the adrenaline had masked.  The back of your head ached, there was blood on your shoulder from one of his bites, your hips were sore from where he held you so tight, and your vagina hurt.  You sat up, rubbing the back of your head, trying to sooth the pain.  You were in shock, a little, he had never been that rough with you before.

 

     He walked over to you and started cleaning your shoulder with a damp cloth. " I'm sorry." he said quietly.

 

     " It's okay," you said smiling, " Next time just give me a pillow."

 

    He smirked as he rubbed the back of your head.  He helped you off the desk and helped you gather your clothes.  You went to the refresher to get cleaned up.  You didn't look to bad.  The one bite would probably scar and both hips had bruises.  You put you jacket on. It was not going to work. You sent a message to your protocol droid to bring you another, as the workday was no where near over.  So you did what you could with it and walked out the door.

 

     As you did you heard the General tell Captain Phasma to make sure the guests left by the end of the day.  You walked over to him and he pulled you down into his lab.  You rested your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.  He was playing with a stray tendril as he looked over space station plans. 

 

     " Armitage, what happened earlier today? What did he do to make you so angry?  I've never seen you like that before, it frightened me."

 

     " I'm sorry sweetheart, I wished you hadn't of seen that. I should have sent you out of the room first."

 

     "But, what did he do?"

 

     " He looked at you, I told him to stop, but he insisted."

 

     " Oh." you said as you snuggled deeper into his chest.

 

     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry such a short chapter. I've lost my way a little. It will be better next time


	8. Blood and Burning Flesh

     After the incident with Kimne Lux, you fell back into your normal routine.  The General was just a little different.  He was more preoccupied with work, preparing for the end.  The space station was almost complete.  With its completion, the Resistance would be no more.  More and more systems were bowing to the First Order.  You were kept busy arranging meetings and holoconferences with ambassadors and dignitaries. Making sure that they were happy and willing to meet our demands.  Most of them were just happy to know that they would live.  The rumors regarding the space station and the weapon it was to house was running  rampant.  Was it another Death Star or Star Killer Base?  All you knew it was a game changer.

 

     Your relationship with the General didn't really change.  You spent your days working and at night you were the one he clinged to.  But still something was wrong, he was keeping something from you.  It wasn't another woman, he really didn't have the time for that.  You deduced it had something to do with the secret meetings between him and the King Yokadia of Volmar.  He didn't want you to have anything to do with the talks.  You knew it had nothing to do with his possessiveness and jealousy.  There was something he didn't want you to know about them.  He would leave and talk with Kylo Ren or Supreme Leader Snoke , and stay gone for hours, adding to your anxiety.  You had stopped your calming powder, not liking the way it made you feel, so now everything put you on edge.  He knew all this was taking its toll on you.  You were fidgety and restless.  Pacing around your office, your quarters.  When you would get this way, he would hold you until it passed.  He took to doing small, sweet things for you, having the kitchens preparing your favorite meals, sending you sweet messages on your datapad, bringing you sweets in bed. 

 

     Things went on like this for weeks.  You didn't want to ask him anything, you didn't want to make him angry.  You had learned the hard way about questioning his decisions during your first week of employment.  You had asked him why he sent ships to one area and not another.  He made you clean the entire office with a toothbrush, although he did make you stop after two hours.  He later told you, he had to make you stop because seeing you on your hands and knees made him extremely horny and if he hadn't of stopped you when he did, he would of taken you then and there.  And then something happened.  You received a message from the King of Volmar.  Apparently, he was ready to meet in person.  He and his council had finally came to an agreement regarding the terms of their joining the First Order.

 

     Why would he contact you, you wondered.  You had never been involved with their secret dealings, why not contact the General.  It didn't really make any sense to you.  He was up to something. You showed the message to the General.  He told you arrange the meeting and that was it.  He did leave, needing to discuss things with Kylo Ren.  You immediately got to work on the arrangements.  The King, reluctantly, agreed to meet aboard the Finalizer.  He was allowed to bring five members of his council and some of his personal guards, to make him feel safe.  He was set to come in a week.  The General was pleased that it would be sooner rather than later.

 

     The day of their arrival came.  They did not arrive with the pomp that was expected of a royal entourage.  Once their ship was docked, they were shown directly to the conference room.  You were there, of course, with the General, Kylo Ren, and few other higher ranking officers.  The King came with his five advisors and few of his guards.  There were two females on his ship, his wife and daughter, not allowed to come to the meeting, you guessed.  The King was generally pleased to be there, but he was not pleased to see you.  The reason you could not ascertain, his mind was so jumbled, to many thoughts all at once.

 

     " General Hux, I am so glad to finally meet you in person.  My wife and daughter are particularly thrilled.  We assure you, we are eager for this alliance to be made.  With the First Order behind us, there are many things we can accomplish."

 

     "Yes, your majesty, you may see it that way.  However, the First Order has its own agenda, we will not be used in your power struggles." The General said coldly. 

 

     The Volmarians were taken aback by his coldness, but most were if they were not used to it.  Despite the Generals coldness towards them, they were still confident that an agreement would be reached.  Our side was not confident.  The Volmarians were naturally very good at hiding there thoughts. It was hard for you to read them, but you did. You barely heard what was being spoken for concentrating on their minds.  As they discussed the terms of the agreement, you realized all of this was already known by the General and easily agreed upon.  There were a few surprises.  One such surprise coming in the form of a proposal. 

 

     " General, we realize that agreement such as this can be easily broken, that is why we continue to feel we need something more concrete is in order.  A marriage between my daughter and yourself.  In our previous discussions, you seemed open to this.  But being here, we realize other factors must be dealt with." He said looking directly at you.  " Your assistant for example, I am sure is very capable, but she would have to go.  My daughter, your soon to be wife could possibly feel the void..."

 

     It was at this point, you zoned everything else out.  You tried to read your peoples minds, the other officers were shocked, but not showing it, even the storm troopers were shocked.  You could feel the walls closing in on you and your head was swimming.  You felt someone grab your hand, it was Kylo Ren.  You felt him in your mind, _Keep calm.  It is not what it seems.  This has been shot down already.  The man is desperate, he will not take no for an answer.  Just trust me, things will work out._

 

_Keep calm, the man is insulting me and Armitage is doing nothing about it. It seems to me that this is going to happen. This is why he's been so secretive, he's planning on casting me off, He is planning on marrying that half-wit princess, who will open her legs for anyone._ You replied silently,

 

     _Have trust in him. He loves you he will not let this happen.  I can feel your emotions, you need to breath, your thoughts are leading you to hysterics._ Kylo Ren started sending you calming visions and thoughts in an attempt to calm you, it was working.  Your breathing was normalizing again and your head was getting clear.  You came out of your zone just in time to hear the General agree to dinner aboard their vessal.

 

     The King and his entourage left.  Everyone else remained behind to discuss the terms of the agreement, of course avoiding on particular term.  You were in an emotional mess, in a matter of minutes you had went through shock, sadness, disbelief, and now icy controlled rage.  You tried very hard not to speak, you knew if you did, it would not be good, someone would die.  You desperately wanted to get your hands around someones throat and at this time you didn't really care who it was.  Kylo Ren sensing your anger, still kept your hand in his trying to calm you, but you tuned him out a while ago.

 

     " (y/n), what is your opinion," the General asked stone faced.

 

     " At this point in time, I don't think my opinion matters."  you said as calmly as you could, jerking your hand away from Kylo Ren and stormed out of the room.

 

     You went back to your quarters.  You wasn't quite sure what to do.  Do you pack and leave, do you wait till he tells you to leave, do you kill him.  You were just so angry. You knew he wasn't coming back for a while, he was going to dinner aboard their ship, getting to know his soon to be wife, so you decided to change the code to get in.  He could sleep in the office for all you cared. 

 

     You picked up on the thoughts of the King and family.  They were very happy, all their terms being met and a husband for their whore of a daughter.  The daughter was ecstatic.  She was very taken with the General.  She couldn't wait till she married and sharing his bed, she wondered what he was like in bed, if the rumors were true, that he liked it rough and sometimes violent.  She was hoping she could watch when he told you to leave, she really wanted him to kill you instead, that she would discuss that with her father.  The more you heard, the more the rage filled you. 

 

     After another hour, you heard him outside the door trying to open it.  You felt his frustration.  You stood there in your robe waiting for him to explode, but he didn't.  " Sweetheart," said calmly, " let me in. I need to explain things to you."  He knocked again, " Sweetheart, I don't want to do this.  Open the door, don't make me have to get the code overridden.  It will not go well if I have to do that."

 

     " What are you going to do," you yelled, " kill me.  I'm already dead.  Your whore of a future wife is talking her father into demanding my head on a silver platter."

 

     " Love, I will not let that happen, none of that is going to happen, please let me in.  I need to explain things to you."

 

     "Fine,"  you said quietly, and you opened the door.

 

     You stood in the corner watching him as he entered.  The room was only lit by his desk lamp, so he didn't see you right away.  You watched him as he took of his jacket and removed his boots.  You turned and walked to the bedroom.  You heard him get up an follow you.  As soon as he got to the door you turned and flung a crystal bird your mother got you at him, it shattered on the wall beside him.  You went into the refresher and locked the door.  You were near hysterics now, crying and shaking with rage.  Your anger was so much, that you shattered the mirror with your mind, you had never done that before.  Shards of glass flew everywhere, some hitting you in the face and scratching you.  You sank to the floor finally just breaking down crying.  You didn't hear the door open, you just felt his arms around you, picking you up off the floor. He laid you on the bed and went back to get a damp cloth to clean you up with. 

 

     " Please listen to me (y/n). I'm not going to marry her.  I had to let them think that to get certain information from them.  I should of told you from the beginning, but it had to look real to them."

 

     " Why would you do this to me, let me hurt like this. He insulted me in front of everyone. You let him do it."

 

     " I've hated myself all this time, knowing that this was going to happen.  I didn't want to cause you any pain.  I had honestly thought you were still taking the calming powder and that it wouldn't be so bad.  When Ren told me you had stopped I was frantic to get back here to you.  Seeing you like this scares me.  Your servants told me what you were like when you went home, I was hoping that maybe, you would never be in a place where you would feel that way again."

 

     You just layed there, letting him hold you and talk.  You wasn't really sure what to say.  The pain that you were feeling, nothing was easing it. In your heart you believed him, Ren had even confirmed that it was not going to happen, but what if it was all a ruse.  " How do I know your being honest with me, how do I know that this is not some scheme to ease my mind, calm me, so I won't put up a fight when you try to kill me.  Are you going to do it yourself, or make Ren do it?"

 

     He got up and walked over to your cabinet.  " Which one?" he asked impatiently.

 

     " What do you mean, which one?"

 

     " Which one will bring you back?  I need you here, all of you."

 

     You saw him take out his datapad and type something. A few minutes later he went back to the cabinet and got the powder he wanted.  You watched him as he measured out what he needed and mixed it with wine.  He came back over to you and pulled you up to sitting. " You will drink this, all of it.  Your mother will be coming here in a few days, she said she did not want to see you this way."

 

      He played the mother card, very clever on his part.  You knew he wasn't lying, so you took the glass and drank the wine, all of it.  He laid down beside you and held you for a little while.  The silence was good.  Calm was coming over you and your brain was quieting down, it was no longer screaming at you, telling you that you were gone and not that important to anyone.  Thirty minutes passed and you felt almost normal.  The pain of what happened that day was still there, but you were no longer hysterical and could listen.

 

     " (y/n), are you alright now? " he asked quietly, you nodded and he continued, " I am not going to marry her, it was a trick, I had to get certain information from him in order for everything to go as planned.  I couldn't tell you because it had to look real to them.  I would never purposely do anything that would hurt you.  If I had known that it would turn out like this, I would of done things a little differently.  I didn't think you would go into that dark place."

 

     " I'm not really sure what to say.  You're the only person I've ever known that can hurt me so much even if you don't mean to.  When he said that you were going to marry his daughter, my heart broke into a million pieces."

 

     " I'm sorry, love.  It had to be done, but all this will be finished tomorrow."

 

     " What do you want me to do," you whispered.

 

     " Tomorrow afternoon we will meet with him, his council members, and his family.  The Knights of Ren should be arriving at anytime, they will be present at the meeting.  You will go about your business as usual, some of the Knights will be following you around and will only interfere if need be."

 

     He rolled you over onto you back and got on top of you.  You wrapped your legs around his waist as he bent down and peppered kisses on your face and neck, his fingers tracing the scar he left on your shoulder weeks ago.  His hand untied your robe and pushed it open, " Such a naughty girl," he whispered as his hands ran over your naked body. 

 

     You ran your hands up his shirt and softly squeezed his pecs and traced his spine with your fingers.  He stood up suddenly and took of his shirt and started to undo his pants.  He pulled you up so you where standing in front of him.  You were level with his chest so you started peppering it with kisses and swirling your tongue around his already hard nipples. You gently nibbled one and he let out a low moan.  You could feel his cock getting harder against your hip. 

 

     " Suck my cock, sweetheart," he moaned has be pushed you down to your knees.  You looked up at him as you took his rock hard cock in your hand and ran your tongue up and down the length of his shaft.  You kneaded your fingers into is hips as you swirled your tongue around his head.  You teased him, popping it in and out of your mouth, caressing it with your tongue.  You could hear the frustrations in his moans.  Still looking at him you slowly took his length in.  You moaned as he gripped your hair and thrusted his hips into you making his cock hit the back of your throat.  You quickly adjusted to his rhythm as he continued his hard thrusts.   He moaned as you let your tongue rubbed against the underside of his cock.  And then without warning he pulled out leaving a trail of saliva from your mouth to it. 

 

     He helped you to your feet and promptly pushed you onto the bed.  He crashed into you, violently kissing your neck and breasts. He flipped you over onto your belly.  He left a trail of wet kisses down your spine to the top of your ass.  He hooked his arm underneath you raising you up till you were on your knees.  He reached around and circled your clit with his fingers. With his other hand, he spread your fold open just enough to slide his cock into you. 

 

     "Oh Gods, Armitage, you fill so good," you moaned as your felt the tip hit your cervix. 

 

     His rhythm was slow at first and slowly got faster.  His fingers on your clit matching his fast rhythm, driving you to the edge.  Just as you would get to the point of coming undone, he would change his pace or even stop.  Now you were the one being teased.  You were becoming frustrated, as he brought you to the edge several more times and then denied you your orgasm. 

 

     He pulled out of you again and roughly pushed you down on the bed and flipped you over on your back.  He bent down and whispered in your ear, " Now that you have been properly punished for throwing something at me again, I want to watch you cum for me, love."

 

He pinned your hands above you head and spread your legs with his knees.  He forcefully entered you again and picked back up with his fast rhythm.  His thrusts became harder and more deliberate. You bucked your hips into his matching his pace. 

 

     " Oh Gods, Armitage," you moaned, " I'm going to cum."

 

     " Cum for me, love. I want your juices all over my cock."

 

     You moaned in unison as you both reached your climaxes at the same time.  Your legs trembled and you closed your eyes as your rode the waves of your orgasm.  He bent down and kissed the scar on your shoulder and slowly pulled out.

 

     After you both took a shower, you went to bed.  He pulled you close to him and held you like he was afraid you were going somewhere.  " (y/n), " he whispered, " remember, I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe. You are mine, and nothing will change that."

 

     Whenever he started to show his possessiveness, it always worried you.  You knew something bad was going to happen, " Armitage, what are you going to do?" you asked.

 

     " The less you know, love, the better," he said as he pulled you closer to him.

 

     " Armitage, your not going to do anything too rash, are you? You will be careful?"

 

     " Everything will be fine sweetheart, I promise."  he said as he kissed your forehead, " Now you need to sleep, tomorrow is a big day.

 

 

     You awoke the same way you did every morning.  The General was putting the finishing touches on his uniform, while you got up and took a quick shower and got dressed.  Another full ten minutes and you were ready to go.  It never took you long to get ready for work, you were not like other girls, spending hours getting ready for nothing.  Then the both of you left to go to your shared office.  Of course two members of the Knights of Ren were following you, just as he said they would.

 

     The day passed by rather quickly.  You tried not to leave the office if you could help it. The Knights of Ren made you a little nervous.  The General had you sitting next to him, he was always like this when he was getting ready to do something important or dangerous.  His possessiveness would kick in and you couldn't do anything without him.  The King attempted to see the General several times, but was denied each time.  You could feel his nervousness, his anxiety concerning the Knights of Ren.  He knew something was wrong. He wondered if it had to do with you.  Maybe it was harder to get rid of you than he thought.  He would have to have you killed, that would be the only way to rid the General of you.  The General knew you was reading the Kings thoughts, he could see you facial expressions change to anger with each new thought.  He ordered you to stop.

 

    The General spent his day in holoconferences with the opposing faction of the King.  From what you could tell, they were very eager to join the First Order.  You couldn't get a clear read on them, but you could tell that they were being honest.  They even mentioned that they were eager to meet you and had wonderful things about you from your mother of all people.  They already had your friendship. 

 

    As the time grew closer, a sense of foreboding came over you.  You knew whatever was going to happen was not going to be good.  You could pick up on certain feelings of everyone else.  You wondered if you were the only one in the group that didn't know what was going to happen.  Clearly the Knights of Ren knew, why else would they be here.  Whatever storm troopers that was going to be there knew.  You knew you were the only one who didn't know, and that was the way the General wanted it.  It irked you a little to see the General so at ease.  He was always so calm in situations like this.  But that is what made him such a great general.

 

     It was an hour before the meeting.  You were setting on the sofa by the General's desk, brushing your hair and refreshing your makeup.  You may not know what was going to happen, but you would not go looking unkempt.  You looked up and saw the General looking at you smiling. "Sweetheart, I don't know why you do that, you're already beautiful." he said walking over to sofa and sitting down beside you, you looked up at him and smiled, " I have a present for you, love, I wanted to wait, but now is as good a time as any."

 

     You watched as he pulled out a small wooden box and got down on one knee.  You tried to breath, but couldn't.  Your head was getting a swimmy.  Was this really happening, was he going to do this now?  After a few seconds, you calmed yourself enough to speak, " Armitage, what are you doing? Is this really a good time?"

 

     " I wanted to wait till after the space station was finished, but I don't want to wait.  I want to marry you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.  I don't want a situation like this to come up again. I want everyone to know that you are mine and I am yours. (y/n), I love you, please marry me."

 

     You looked down at the ring.  It was an eight caret princess cut diamond flanked by flanked by smaller diamonds set in platinum.  It was so beautiful.  " Armitage, I want to marry you," you said throwing yourself on him, making you both fall to the floor, " I love you, Armitage Hux, I don't think I've ever been this happy before in my life." 

 

     You were both laying in the floor kissing when the office door swooshed open.  It was Kylo Ren.  You both stood up immediately and fixed your uniforms, you could hear Ren chuckling to himself, even if the General couldn't.  The General grabbed your left hand, slipped the ring on your finger and then linked it with his and you walked out of the office.  Kylo Ren was walking beside of you, and the other knights were walking behind you in two columns.  The corridors were clear, thankfully, and the conference room was empty.  As you entered you heard the General tell Captain Phasma not to let anyone leave.  The General led you to your seat directly  beside him at the head of the table.  Kylo Ren stood behind you and the other Knights stood at various spots around the table.

 

     As the King, four of his councilors, his wife and daughter, and personal guards entered, the General placed your hand in his for everyone to see.  The King seemed slightly perturbed by this, but kept his wits and said nothing. He was still under the impression that your time was up.  His daughter, however, was livid, furiously whispering to her mother.  I guess anyone can see an eight caret diamond ring from across the room. You smirked a little to yourself she looked at it with envy.  Like her father, she was hoping you would be dead by the end of the day. 

 

     " Your Majesty, I am so glad that you and your family could join us again, this afternoon.  I'm sorry that I was unable to meet with you sooner, but running the Finalizer takes up a lot of my time."

 

     " I understand, completely, " the King said with a fake smile, " I am concerned, however with all the extra security measures," he said motioning to the Knights of Ren around the table.

 

     " I have discussed your terms with the Supreme Leader. We will agree to all your terms..."

 

     " Great," the King interrupted. " Now we can..."

 

     " Ah, your Majesty, you did not let me finish.   We will agree to all of your terms but one. I will not marry your daughter."

 

     The King was turning red, " YOU  AGREED.  YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THIS WORK. YOU EVEN AGREED TO DISPOSE OF HER."  he yelled, pointing at you.

     The General squeezed your hand and you felt Kylo Ren move closer to you.  He was in your mind telling you to relax.  That feeling of foreboding came back, whatever was going to happen was going to happen soon.

 

     " That was a little trickery on my part, " the General said smirking. "I would never marry anyone else, but Miss (y/l/n).  After our meeting, yesterday, it was brought to my attention  that this union would be more advantageous for you than us.  Having known enemies is never a good thing.  I wondered what they would want, so we reached out to them.  Their terms are a little more agreeable.  Of course, they require something as well, something I'm more than willing to give them."

 

     " And what would that be?' the King asked.

 

    " Your head, your Majesty."

 

     The King's guards drew their weapons just as the knights drew theirs.  The General quickly pulled you to him hiding your face. You could hear blaster fire, the whirring of light sabers, and screams.  You could smell blood and burning flesh.  You could tell the knights were making quick work of the King's guards and council members.  You heard the King begging for the lives of his wife and daughter.  Your could hear their begging  meeting with the whirring of light sabers.  Then there was silence and four distinctive thuds as heads and bodies hit the floor. 

 

     The King was being dragged to where you and the General was standing.  He was sobbing, pleading incoherently. He asked why the General would do such a thing to his wife and daughter, that they were innocent.

 

     The General spoke, his voice sounding deeper, since your ears were near his chest, " Did you think that I would let you come here, insult the woman I intend to marry, attempt to use me as some sort of pawn and not do anything about it.  Did you really think I would let you use the First Order in such a way.  You wanted me to kill the woman I love so I could marry your whore of a daughter.  Did you honestly think, that you would get off so easy.  There is a reason why I don't have enemies, I kill them and make examples of them to detour others. "

 

     You heard the whirring of a light saber and the two distinct thuds of head and body hitting the floor.  The room was silent. The smell of blood and burning flesh was so overwhelming it was sickening.  You tried to break free from the General's grip, but he was too strong. 

 

     " Sweetheart, I don't want you to see any of this, " he whispered into your ear.

 

     The last thing you remember was Kylo Ren's voice in your head telling you to relax and not fight the darkness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

    


	9. Celebration!

     The next morning you woke up early, earlier than the General even, that never happened.  Millicent was curled up in her usual spot, just above your head on your pillow.  The General hated it, but allowed it, to make you happy.  You still felt a little wonky from whatever it was that Kylo Ren had done to you.  You just felt so drained from the past two days, you wanted to sleep, but couldn't.  Yesterday, you didn't even want to think about.  It wasn't the worst thing the General had ever done, he had killed billions of people in one shot, but you had never been in the same room.  He always tried to keep you protected from things like that.  You knew it had to be done, for the First Order, that was the main reason, but, he had made it personal.  It had never been personal before and it made you wonder about what else he would do for personal reasons.  You felt responsible, but you couldn't feel guilty.  They wanted you dead, after all, what else could be done?

 

     The General must of felt you stirring around because he pulled you into him, " Sweetheart," he whispered, "you should really try to sleep a little more. You've had a rough couple of days."

 

     " I know love, I just don't think I can sleep anymore."

 

     " Are you upset about yesterday?"

 

     " Not really upset, just bothered a little. I don't think that's what wrong. The future, it worries me.  I think, I'm just ready for it all to end.  I want a wedding without having to worry if the Resistance will attack, I want to raise our children, I don't want to send them away, I don't want to be sent away." you said, breaking into tears.

 

     " Shh, love, its all right.  Your just a little emotional, Ren said that could happen.  The end is near, (y/n), I promise you.  In another month or two the space station will be fully operational and then we will crush the resistance.  I don't want you to worry about anything else, you will never be sent away from me, nor will our children." he said pulling you closer to him.

 

     As you layed in his arms, whatever uneasiness you were feeling was going away.  Your only thoughts as you drifted back to sleep was how nice it felt being in his arms and how you never wanted it to end. 

 

     When you woke back up, the General was already gone.  You looked at the clock on the bedside table, it was late in the afternoon, in fact, the General would be returning soon from dinner.  And, as if on cue, the door swooshed open and in he walked followed by a droid carrying a tray of food. 

 

     " I'm glad you're awake.  I brought you some dinner." he said as he placed the tray in your lap.

 

     " Thank you, it looks delicious. But, you really didn't have to go through all the trouble. I could have a sandwich or something."

 

     " Nonsense, I know you're hungry, you haven't eaten since lunch yesterday.  And I know how much you love chocolate cake."

 

     You smiled.  " I do like chocolate cake, I think I'll have that first," you said as you put the fork up to his mouth offering him a bite.

 

     As he took a bite some of the icing smeared on his upper lip. You reached over to wipe it off with your finger. Before you had a chance to move your finger away, he grabbed it and put it in his mouth and gently sucked all the icing off. " For some reason, it just tastes better mixed with the sweetness of your skin." he said with a little smirk.  " Everyone was a little upset that you wasn't at dinner, they wanted to congratulate us both on our upcoming nuptials."

 

     " So it was already announced?"

 

     " Yes, it was unavoidable, I'm afraid.  I suspect you'll be bombarded tomorrow."  he said laughing, he had such a wonderful laugh, " We do have to make arrangements for your mother's visit.  She'll be here the day after tomorrow and can stay only a few hours. She is on her way to Arkanis."

 

     " I didn't know you were such good friends with my mother. How long has that been going on?"

 

     " Since Targa. She gave me some advice on how to win the heart of a young girl."

 

     " Did it work for you then?"

 

     " I think so," he said while removing the food tray, " She did say she would marry me, but, I think that she really wants to kill me, that its just a ruse to get close to me so she can get the job done."

 

     " And why do you think that?"

 

     " She keeps throwing things at me. I think she misses on purpose because she likes toying with me." he said as you threw a pillow at him.

 

     "  It looks like I didn't miss that time." you said smirking.

 

     You watched as he took of his clothes, taking the time to put everything in its proper place.  As he climbed into bed next to you, you couldn't help but ravage his body with your eyes.  It should be a crime to look that good.  He leaned over an gently kissed you, lightly nibbling you bottom lip.  You parted you lips letting his tongue slip in and mingle with yours.  As the kiss deepened you felt his had roaming over your body exploring the places hidden under your nightgown.

 

     As you pulled back to catch your breath, you said, " You know love, we never did celebrate our engagement properly."

 

     " Your right, and I was thinking, since this is a celebration, we should do something a little different."

 

     " What did you have in mind?" you asked a little unsure.

 

     " You'll see, " was all he said as he pulled your nightgown over your head.

 

     He got up and went over to his dresser.  He pulled a box, a medium sized one out of the top drawer.  There was a devious look on his face as he walked back over to the bed.

 

     " First," he began, " I want you to close your eyes."  You did as you were told.  You felt the bed dip behind you.  He put something over your eyes, a silky fabric.  You felt his lips on your neck, moving from one side to the other slowly.  " Now love, I want you to lay down on your back."  Again you did as you were told.  He grabbed one arm and raised it above your head and tied to the headboard with the same silky fabric as the blindfold, he did the same with the other.  " Don't worry, love, it won't leave any bruises. I promise I won't hurt you. If you feel uncomfortable, let me know and I will stop."

     You nodded and he started kissing you again.  His lips moved quickly from yours to your breasts.  He swirled his tongue around your already hard nipples, lightly nibbling them, causing you to let out a soft moan.  His lips moved to that special spot just below your ear lobe, the moisture of his tongue matching the moisture that was forming between your legs.

 

     " Umm, my pet, already wet for me?" he whispers, " Such a naughty girl, so wanton, maybe you should be punished for such wantoness?"

 

     You were a little nervous, you wasn't sure if you were ready, but you went a long with it, its not like he hasn't been rough with you before, " Yes Armitage,'' you said quietly, " I should be punished, I want you to punish me."

 

     " Tsk, Tsk," he said biting into your shoulder, hard, causing you to whimper, " Yes, what?"

 

     " Yes General," you said quietly.

 

     This time he lightly nibbled your neck and got up.  You knew he was still in the room, getting something, but what you didn't know.  He came back.  You felt something cold and metal against your skin.  He ran the cold metal object down your chest, circling around your breast, and continued down your stomach to your inner thigh.

 

     He leaned down and whispered in your ear, " Have you guessed the form of your punishment?"

 

       You felt the cold metal run the length of your slit and back up to your abdomen. " No, General." you said timidly.

 

     He cupped your cheek with his hand and continued, " It's a dagger from the old empire, rumored to have belonged to the emperor.  I've waited a long time to use it.  Now if your a good girl and don't move and don't scream, I'll reward you."

 

     " Ok"

 

     He bit down on your neck again, hard, " Now, my pet, is that any way to address your commanding officer?"

 

     " I'm sorry, General"

 

      He ran the blade up and down your body, lightly scratching you in places, lightly poking in others.  He did this for what seemed like forever.  The longer he did it the more nervous you got, not knowing if he was going to do worse or just do what he was doing.  He cupped your cheek again.  You felt the point of the dagger right above your left breast.  You gasped at the pain, as he dragged it across you skin.  You could feel the blood trickle from the wound, quickly followed by his tongue.  His lips crashed into yours, the metallic taste still on his tongue as it forced its way into your mouth.

 

     " Shall I continue with your punishment, my pet?"

 

    " Yes, General." 

 

     Again you felt the point of the dagger on your skin, this time on your lower abdomen.  Again you gasped at the pain as he dragged the point across your skin.  After lapping up your blood, he spread open your legs.  As he dragged the dagger across your inner thigh, you tried desperately not to scream, the pain was almost unbearable.  You squeezed your eyes closed and bit the inside of your cheek as he made another cut right below the first one.  After he finished with your cuts he traced your slit with his finger and slowly pushed it inside of you, while his tongue swirled around your clit.  He did it just long enough to make you crazy wanting more.

 

      " You've been such a good girl.  I think you have earned a reward, what would you like me to do to you, my pet?"  he whispered into your ear. 

 

     " I want you to fuck me, make me cum, General, please."

 

     He brushed his lips against yours and then you felt him raise up onto his knees between your legs.  He grabbed your right leg, and peppered it with kisses and wrapped it around his waist.  He rubbed your clit as he lowered himself onto you.  His hot breath was on your neck.  " Still so wet for me," he said, " Do you want your General's cock inside of you, my pet?"

 

     " Yes General, I want to feel you inside of me, please."

 

     " Mmm, such a good girl," he whispered, as he pushed his hard cock inside of you, " Fuck, Miss (y/l/n), you feel so good, so tight."

 

     He filled you up completely.  He was slowly thrusting in and out of you.  You knew he was going so slowly just to torture you.  He rubbed his thumb in circles around your clit.  He was driving you absolutely mad with this slow pace.  He drove you to the edge several times, only to stop or slow down, so the feeling would pass.  He removed his thumb from your clit and put it in your mouth, you could taste your juices, sweet and tangy.  He reached up and removed the blindfold.

 

     " I want you to look at me as I make you cum, my pet," he said , bending down, kissing you gently on the shoulder.

 

     He placed your ankles on his shoulders, nibbling and licking each one.  He started thrusting inside of you at faster pace than before.  You were getting so close with each thrust.

 

     " Oh Gods, General, please faster, I'm going to cum,"

 

     " Look at me (y/n)," he growled as he picked up the pace.

 

     One hand was on your hip, helping him maintain his balance and to keep you still.  The other one found its way back to your clit.  You felt the blood rush to your head as the waves of bliss rushed over your body.  You never broke eye contact with him as his own orgasm hit and he screamed out your name. 

 

     He collapsed on the bed next to you, breathing heavily, but looking relaxed.  He rolled on his side, looking at you, " Are you alright, love?"

 

     " I'm fine," you said, " just a little tired."

 

     " I am utterly spent, as well. Good night, love." he said, kissing your lips, then rolling over to go to sleep.

 

     Surely he didn't mean to leave you tied up.  You pulled at the ties, they didn't budge.  You couldn't reach the knots with your fingers either. " Armitage, love," you said quietly.

 

     " Yes, sweetheart."

 

     " I'm still tied up."

 

    He chuckled and moved to untie your wrists.  With his hands on either side of your head he looked down into your eyes.  You love his blue eyes, cold to everyone else, but you.  You wrapped your now free arms around his neck and pulled him down onto you.  As you held him, you whispered, " I love you Armitage, I think I'm the happiest woman in the galaxy.  Please, will you hold me while I go to sleep?"

 

     He chuckled again, " Of course sweetheart, for as long as you like."

 

     He rolled off of you and pulled you into him. You fell asleep listening to the beating of his heart.

 

     The next day was business as usual.  A routine staff meeting was first on the agenda, followed by a holoconference with the engineering team working on the space station.  You just followed him around and sat beside him all day with your data pad taking notes.  Your morning was filled with meetings, so your afternoon was filled out sending out endless memorandums concerning the meeting from the morning.  You were so busy, you barely had time for lunch.  The lunch you did get was spent at your desk, not really eating, just working.  Things really do pile up when you miss a day of work.

 

     You went to bed that night tired, but you were also nervous and feeling a bit sick to your stomach.  Your mother would be there the next day, and that alone was enough to make you want to vomit.  You love your mother, but she was controlling and wanted everything her way.  And this is something she always wanted, to plan your wedding. 

 

     You woke up the next morning with the same queasiness.  You untangled yourself from your sleeping General and went to take a shower.  You closed your eyes as the hot water rained down on your body.  A rush of cool air breezed around you as the General stepped in behind you.

 

     He moved your hair away from your back and started gently scrubbing it. " (Y/N)," he started, as he turned you around to wash the front of you, " You shouldn't be so nervous, it doesn't matter what your mother thinks.  You are mine and I will marry you." he finished as he pushed you under the water to rinse your body and hair free of soap.

 

     " That's not what I'm worried about." you said as you started washing his back. " My mother is overbearing. She is going to take over everything.  It's going to turn into this big ordeal."

 

     " Sweetheart, you forget," he said tracing the outline of your shoulders and neck with his lips, " As overbearing as your mother is, I'm just as stubborn and controlling, and I always get what I want."

 

     He nibbled at your special spot just below your earlobe, causing you to let out a soft moan.  He snaked his arm around your waist and moved his hand down to your clit.  You squirmed trying to get out of his grasp, but he forcefully pulled you closer to him.

 

     " Armitage, we're going to be late."

 

     " It's alright, love," he breathed into your ear, " I already informed Lieutenant Mitaka that we would be late."

 

     He turned you around and pulled you into a kiss.  You ran your fingers through his wet hair as his kiss deepened.  His hands were on your hips massaging them gently. You broke the kiss and moved your lips to his neck and collar bone.  He moaned as you lightly sucked on his already hard nipples.  His hands pulled at you motioning for you to get down on your knees.

 

     You did as he wanted.  His hard cock was in your face.  You ran your tongue up and down the length of his shaft and swirled your tongue around the head finally taking the whole length into your mouth.  He groaned as you sucked his cock in a slow rhythm.  Getting frustrated with your slow pace, he put his hands in your hair forcing you to go faster.  He matched your fast pace by thrusting his hips, making his cock hit the back of your throat.

 

     " Oh fuck, (Y/N)," he groaned as his warm cum hit the back of your throat.

 

     You and the General stood in the docking bay, waiting for your mother's shuttle to finish docking procedures.  You were a big ball of anxiety.  Your mother was a force to be reckoned with.  A force like none other.  She was powerful, even more so than General Organa, and more deadly.  She didn't have enemies, they were all dead.  She had been married eight times, none but your father died naturally.  Even Supreme Leader Snoke did not cross her.  He found her to be an ally and very useful. 

 

     She walked into the docking bay in complete elegance, as if she owned it.  She created quite the scene, everyone seemed to stop what they were doing and stare.  She was beautiful, even in her middle age.  He blond hair pulled back in a stylish bun and with blue suit to match her blue eyes. 

 

     She embraced you and lightly kissed your cheek. " My dear, I'm so happy to see you.  I've been worried about you ever since the General messaged me the other day.  I told you to take the calming powder.  In your line of work, you need it." She cupped your cheek, " You're so much like your father,  he was always so anxious.  I had to nurse him through so many hysterical episodes.  I thought it would do him in. I don't want to see you like that."

 

     " Mother I am fine, everything is fine."

 

    She looked at you with one of those "mother knows best" looks, " We'll see, " she said, as she turned her attention to the General, " You did right in contacting me when you did.  She is prone to hysterics, as long as she takes the calming powder every few days, she should be fine.  I was so elated when I received your message.  I have longed for the day when my little girl  will get married.  You are so good for her.  She needs someone strong like you in her life.  I'm not saying she needs someone to take control over her, but she needs someone to lead her in the right way.  Even Snoke is thrilled at your pending nuptials." As she droned on about her happiness, you zoned out.

 

     As the three of you made your way to your quarters, your mother went on and on about how beneficial a match this was and how lucky we both were to be with each other.  She was so happy that her daughter was getting married and how she was ecstatic to be planning a wedding.  She rattled on and on about her dream wedding for you until you got to your destination.  You could see the situation getting out of control quickly.

 

     The lunch went well, for the most part.  The General managed to steer the conversation to happening on Targa and Ranoth.  Your mother was delighted, she loved gossip, you were just pleased to be talking about something other than yourself and your wedding.

 

     Just as you were beginning to relax when your mother decided to broach the subject again, " (Y/N), have you thought about what you would like for your wedding?"

 

     " Mother," you started, " we've only just got engaged. I've not really had any time to think about it."

 

     " Oh, my dear, I had my wedding planned before I was even engaged."

 

     " Yes, mother, but for which wedding?"  you asked, as the General chuckled to himself.

 

     " All of them, my dear" she said with a very stern expression, " I'm just saying most girls start planning their weddings when they are young, their dream wedding."

     The very thought of a dream wedding made you want to vomit.  You never thought you would ever get married, yet alone get to plan a wedding.  This whole thing with the General started suddenly, it was unexpected.  You had never planned on being in a relationship, but you are now.  And you just wanted everything as low key as possible.

 

     " I was thinking," you mother said, " an afternoon wedding in the summer.  Maybe in the gardens."

 

     " Mother, I really don't think..."

 

     " But, (Y/N), the night blooming roses and twilight jasmine, it will be beautiful, I can just see it."

 

     " I don't think we want something so big."

 

     " (Y/N), you have to think of your station in life, of the General's.  It's to be expected."

 

     You sat in silence, you knew you were not going to win.  Your anxiety was rising.  The General must of felt it because he grabbed you hand and squeezed.

 

     " Lady (Y/L/N)," the General said with coldness in his voice, " I am a private man and your daughter prefers to be private as well.  We have decided to have a small wedding on Arkanis."

 

     Your mother, missing the seriousness in his voice, responded, " Arkanis, General Hux, you cannot be serious.  It is all ways raining, the wedding would have to be indoors. As a Ranothian, it is traditional for an outdoor wedding."

 

     " I understand, Lady (Y/L/N), but it is not open for debate," he said, with danger in his voice, " We will be getting married on Arkanis in a small ceremony. I assure you that it will be a beautiful ceremony, befitting your daughter.  Maybe, perhaps when you are on Arkanis, you may find a venue that you find suitable."

 

     The lunch didn't last much longer and the wedding wasn't mentioned again.  After lunch the three of you made your way back to the docking bay.  As you said goodbye to your mother, you could see a hint of sadness in her eyes.  It wasn't the wedding so much that was making her sad.  She thought she was losing you, that you know longer needed her.  She knew she wasn't the one that was going to take care of you.  You knew that you would always need her.  Perhaps later in the week you will message her and arrange some kind of get together just the two of you.

 

     As your mother left the docking bay and boarded her shuttle, the General grabbed your hand and the both of you made your way back to the office.  You walked in silence, both just happy that the meeting was over.  You could feel how relaxed he was and it was spilling over into you.  You could feel that everything was working out.  It was getting better.

 

     Just as you reached the office, Captain Phasma intercepted the General and informed him Supreme Leader Snoke was needing to meet with him.  He sighed, kissed your cheek, and went on his way.  You went in and commenced to getting to work. You had so much to do.  It was two hours before the General came back and you could tell he was no longer relaxed, but not really angry either.  Maybe a little apprehensive.

 

     You gave him a few minutes and then you made your way over to his desk.  He pushed back from his desk and opened his arms allowing you to sit on his lap.  You could feel how tense he was.  Whatever was wrong probably wasn't good.

 

     " What's wrong, love?" you asked, quietly.

 

     " Snoke wants you to meet with some delegates from Courscant.  He thinks your telepathic abilities will come in handy.  He thought Kylo Ren would be too intimidating.  He is going to send you everything you need to know on you data pad.  You'll only be gone for a few days.  You are going to meet them somewhere in the Outer Rim.  I will send people with you to keep you safe."

 

     You smiled at him.  It wasn't so much that you were being sent on a mission, you had done it before.  It was his fear that you were picking up on, he was afraid that something was going to happen to you.  And there really wasn't anything you could do to appease him, because you had the same bad feeling.

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry such a long wait for this chapter. Sorry its such a filler chapter. Sorry if it sucks.  
> I do need some help though, I need to name a space station and open to suggestions.


	10. Somewhere You Should Not Be.

     Your mind awoke before your body did.  You knew you were somewhere you should not be.  You tried to think, you couldn't seem to remember what happened, how you got here, where your clothes were.  The minds of the people around you, you did not know them.  You felt hands on you, female hands.  You could hear her thoughts; _how did a pretty girl like this get involved in the First Order, Must be loved though, look at her ring._ You had to open your eyes, find out what kind of danger you were in.

 

     You slowly opened you eyes.  The room wasn't well lit, you could tell you were underground.  The room appeared to be some kind of Medbay.  There were three people in the room, a doctor, a nurse, and a man in the corner.  They were discussing your condition.  You heard them talking about your memory and how they did not know how it will be affected.  They mentioned a bump on your head from the crash.

 

     With that word, it all came rushing back to you, you remembered.  Your shuttle crashed, the pilot said something about sabotage.  He was going to try to land the shuttle on the planet below.  You remember hitting your head on something as it crashed, then there was blackness. Then you woke up here, where ever here is.  You needed to remember the training the General insisted you take upon coming aboard the Finalizer.  Stay calm. Do not answer questions directly, escape if I can, and, in my case, scan their minds constantly.

 

     You remained still, so as not to draw their attention.  You needed to ascertain the situation first, before talking to them.  None of them had on a uniform, so you couldn't tell what group they belonged to.  You didn't want to get into their minds just yet.  They may be able to tell.  The man was familiar to you.  You had not met him personally, but you had seen him, maybe on a hologram.  He was an attractive man.  He wasn't as tall the General, he was very dark and mysterious looking and he had an arrogance about him that you found annoying.  You had an iv in your arm, the normal saline drip for hydration, but also two other bags, you could just make out the writing antibiotics and pain medicine.  You were becoming more aware that this was not a good situation to be in, you just wondered if the ring on your right hand still held its contents, just in case.

 

     They were talking again, this time a name was mentioned, General Leia Organa.  You had been captured by the Resistance.  The man in the corner was Poe Dameron, the First Order was looking for him, he had a price on his head.  You knew it was safe to look inside his head, he was not Force Sensitive, you needed to know what kind of danger you were in.  They know who you are and they want to ask you questions, they thought you may know top secret information.  They wanted to try to turn you, use you as a spy.  If all that failed, they were going to use you as a bargaining chip to get back their prisoners.  And most importantly, they did not know of your mental capabilities.

 

     You moved, slightly, so that they would see that you were awake.  They, all three, moved to your bedside.  The nurse was checking your vitals and the pilot was on his commlink, presumably to General Organa.

 

     The doctor began speaking, " I'm Dr. Kalonia, can you tell me who you are?"

 

     You wasn't sure how to act.  You didn't want to be nice and polite.  How would the General be, you asked yourself.  Calm and to the point. " Dr. Kalonia, my memory is intact, if that is what you are wondering.  I am Commander (F/L/N) of the First Order.  The others on the shuttle, did they survive?"

 

     "All but two," the doctor replied.

 

     " Are they being held here, are they safe?"

 

     " I don't think I can answer that."

 

     " Why, because you don't know or because you were ordered not to.  I am their commanding officer, I need to know about the well being of my men."  You knew that they were not going to tell you, so you did a quick mind sweep on Poe Dameron; your men were okay and somewhere on base.

 

     " I'm sorry, we can't tell you, " Poe Dameron said. " The General wants you for questioning as soon as you are able."

 

     There was no harshness in his voice, something more like compassion.  His mind told you he was conflicted.  He was attracted to you, though he knew it was wrong.  He knew about you, everything about you.  He knew of you relationship with the General, he was jealous, thought that the General didn't deserve you. He wondered if you were just as bad as the General. 

 

     " So tell me, Mr. Dameron, are you using the whereabouts of my men as a bargaining chip to ensure my co-operation?  I am more than ready to be questioned, as soon as this iv is removed."

 

     Dr. Kalonia removed the iv and you were given back your uniform to put on.  As you stepped out behind the screen, you noticed that the doctor and nurse had left, leaving Poe Dameron behind.  He was just standing there, with a dumbstruck expression on his face, very much like the General's when he first saw you. 

 

     " Well, Mr. Dameron, are we going to stand here all day? Your General did want to question me, correct?"

 

     He came back to his senses and led you out of the room.  You were taken through a maze of corridors, all underground.  You made sure to keep track of everything, scanning everyone's mind that you passed.  People were starring at you as you passed, some with disgust, others with something like pity. You preferred the looks of disgust, you didn't need people to pity you.  One girl you passed was a bit jealous, but why you didn't know.  This place was a bit curious.  You did mange to learn the whereabouts of your men and that the pilot was still alive.  Your future was not so bleak after all.  An escape plan was forming in your mind, you did not foresee yourself being there much longer.

 

     The room he brought you to was nice, personal quarters, not an interrogation room.  There were images of her son, Ben, now Kylo Ren, her dead husband, Han, and her brother Luke.  She was sitting in a chair, studying me as I walked in.  You knew she was Force Sensitive, not a user like her son and brother, so you would have to tread carefully through her mind.  She motioned for you to sit in a chair across from her.  She kept studying you, trying to figure you out.  She knew that you would never turn against the First Order,  and that you would never answer any questions, but she would try anyway.  She just hoped you were a powerful enough bargaining chip that the prisoners she wanted freed, would be.

 

     " Miss (L/N), you are the personal assistant to General Hux?"

 

     You slightly nodded, the less said the better.

 

    " How does someone like yourself end up in the First Order?"

 

    " I don't understand, General, someone like me."

 

     " We know who you are.  A girl from an aristocratic family from Ranoth.  You are wealthy and beautiful, you could have a life of ease.  Why would you give that all up for the First Order?"

 

     " Why would a princess, with a life of ease, who is wealthy and beautiful, join the Rebellion and fight the Empire?" she smiled, you continued. " General Organa, I think we both know that its useless to continue questioning me.  I may be just a personal assistant, but I have been trained in the ways of interrogation, Kylo Ren and General Hux taught me many tricks.  So, if you will, tell me what it is that you want"

 

     " Tell us what you know about the new space station and the weapon that it will house."

 

     You sat in silence, you had not intention of saying anything about the space station.

 

     " I can feel the good in you.  You don't want another Starkiller Base, and all the death that comes with it.  Tell us about the space station, help us prevent unnecessary deaths," you continued your silence, she went on, " If it is because of General Hux and your fear of him, we can protect you."

 

     You had no intention of answering any questions, but the last statement compelled you to say something, " General Organa, I do not fear General Hux.  I simply will not tell you what you want to know. I want the First Order to succeed.  I don't see us getting anywhere, General Organa, perhaps you should have me taken to my cell."

 

     There was a look in her eye.  Not anger or disappointment, something like despair.  You could feel it in everyone, the despair.  The Resistance was failing, they could not hold out much longer.  You knew that getting the plans of the space station and weapon was their last hope.  Everyone in the galaxy was eager for peace, and they didn't care how it came about and who came out on top.

 

     The pilot, Poe Dameron, came back in. He was to take you to your cell.  You walked in silence.  The pilot was an open book.  He was disappointed, the other men in your party had not broken either.  He thought for sure that Lieutenant Mitaka would have broken, he was so nervous, terrified of what General Hux would do because he had put you in danger.  You could feel his eyes on you, he was watching you.  The attraction he had for you was growing.  He had heard you with General Organa, he was impressed by your calmness and the way you were handling yourself.  He wanted to know why you were with General Hux.

 

     " So why do you alone get the privilege of escorting me to my cell?"

 

     " And here I thought you were feeling somewhat privileged, having a pilot such as myself escorting you to your cell.  No, really, we figured a little girl like you couldn't do much damage to someone, maybe bite their ankle or something."

 

     "Mmm, I suppose I'm not that imposing of a figure."

 

     " So, why is a girl like you in the First Order anyway?  You could do whatever you want, be with anybody you want."

 

     " I am with the First Order for my own reasons and I am with the person I want to be with."

 

     " He is a monster.  He kills indiscriminately.  He has killed billions of people and he doesn't care.  He would kill you if he had to."

 

     He grabbed you and pushed you into the wall, holding you there by your shoulders.  You looked up into his eyes, he was shorter than the General, but still taller than you.  There was fire in his eyes, passion.  You knew he wasn't going to hurt you or force himself on you, but you were still nervous, none the less.  You had never been this close to another man.  You remembered your teaching, to stay calm, watch your breathing.

 

     " He doesn't deserve you," he whispered in your ear.  You could feel his hot breath on your neck, it took all your self control not to shudder.

 

     " And I suppose that you think that you do?  You don't even know me."  I whispered back to him, not breaking eye contact. 

 

     " I know enough."  he said bending down and gently kissing your lips. You felt his move down to your waist and pull you closer to him.  His kiss was intensifying, his tongue slipped past your parted lips and caressed yours.

 

     You pulled away.  " I love General Hux and no one else."  you said as you started walking down the corridor.

 

     You walked the rest of the way to your cell in silence.  You had never been in this type of situation before.  On the Finalizer, everyone knew you were with the General and you were never accosted by anyone.  This made you uncomfortable.  You were not attracted to Poe Dameron and you didn't want him touching you.  The whole situation made you feel dirty.  You had to get away.  You had a plan, somewhat of plan anyway.

 

     On the way to your cell, you saw the cell holding your four men.  They were all together, very strange.  You were happy to see that they were alive and unharmed and you could tell that they were happy to see that you were alive as well.  The General spared nothing when it came to your safety.  He sent you to your meeting with the best pilot in the First Order and galaxy in your opinion, Lieutenant Mitaka, who is very good at what he does, though, he is a bit nervous all the time, and four of the best stromtroopers in their division, though there were only two now.  As you walked by them, you looked at them and nodded, they knew you had a plan, and you could tell that they would do anything that you asked.

 

     Once in your cell, you concentrated on scanning the minds of everyone you could.  The Resistance certainly didn't see you coming.  They were not going to know what hit them, when you escaped.  You got what you needed to know fairly quickly, how to get to the ships and how to lower the shields so you could get out.  Your only problem was how to get out of your cell.  You could ascertain that you made them nervous.  Your calmness and icy control was un-nerving them.  Apparently, they had expected hysterics, begging, pleading.  They did not know you as well as they thought they did. The General taught you very well.  No one would suspect that you were just as nervous as some lowly officer delivering bad news to Kylo Ren. 

 

     An hour or two later, General Organa, herself, brought you your dinner tray.  She came in and sat opposite you.  You knew what she wanted, you saw it in her eyes earlier, when you mentioned his name.  " I suppose you want to know about your son?"

 

     " Is it obvious?"

 

     " I would want to know if I was in your position."

 

     " Is he well?"

 

     " He is.  There is a part of him that still cares for you.  But I suspect that everyone loves their mother, regardless of their situation in life."

 

     " I once thought, that if I could just see him, I could bring him back.  I thought Han...."

 

     " His father was foolish.  I cannot say if he cared for his father, he does not mention him.  Too many things have happened, Kylo cannot be brought back.  There is much anger in him, hatred.  He will never be the boy that you knew."

 

     " Are you close to him, his friend?"

 

     " I suppose you could call us friends.  We have many things in common.  He protects me when the General cannot.  He talks to me and makes me see things that I may not."  She sat in silence contemplating what you were saying, " My suggestion, General, is you let him go.  Trying to change him could only make things worse.  I know it is not what you want to hear, but it is the way it is."

 

     " He is my son, I don't want to give up hope."

 

     " Situations may change, he may change.  As they say, hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

 

     As she left, she thanked you for talking with her.  You felt sorry for her.  She loved her son, but it wasn't going to be enough to save him or her, for that matter.  Kylo Ren was not going to change.  He has always had the darkness in him, though she may not have seen it.  He has done too many bad things, killed too many people.  And truthfully, he didn't really care for his parents, but you would not have told her that.  You were not cruel, after all.

 

     You resumed planning your escape.  You scanned the guard outside your cell.  He was weak and easily manipulated and so were the two guards watching your men.  You opened your ring, there were seven small tablets hidden inside.  Just one would bring death in five minutes.  They were only to be used in dire circumstances, but this was not dire enough for you, but the guard would find his circumstances very dire.

 

     You waited till the early morning. You leaned over your cot with your back to the door and stuck your finger down your throat and forced yourself to vomit.

 

     You heard the cell door shield go off as the guard stepped inside, " Ma'am, are you alright?"

 

     You moaned as the guard came closer.  He was standing over you.  You continued to moan and writhe as he came even closer.  You could feel his face close to you.  You rolled over quickly and stabbed him in eye with the fork you kept from dinner.  Your adrenaline was pumping now, as you grabbed him by the neck and tried to wrestle him down.  He put up a bit of a fight and you were a little bit smaller than him.  You pushed the fork in a little further.  As he opened his mouth to scream, you popped one of your tablets in his mouth.  He thrashed around for a few more minutes and then stopped. You watched as he took his last breath.  He was dead.  You grabbed his blaster and made your way down the corridor to your men.

 

     You met no resistance the short walk to their cell.  Fortunately, you had remembered to remove your shoes, so the two guards never heard you coming.  You quickly scanned them to get the code to remove the shield from the cell doorway and then you fired on them, killing them instantly, the General teaching you how to properly fire a blaster paid off, you wondered if he would be proud.  By the time you got to the door the men were already on there feet.  Seeing the guards fall, they knew that it was time and they were ready.

 

     " Gentlemen," you said as you opened the door, " I think it high time we leave. Captain, I assume their ships are not that different from ours, can you fly one of them?"

 

     " Yes, Commander, just get me to a ship and I will get us out of here."

 

      " Good," you said turning you attention to the stormtroopers, " Take their blasters, that one, " you said nodding to one of the dead guards, " has two, give the second one to the pilot."

 

     You looked at Lieutenant Mitaka.  Surprisingly, he was as calm as you were, maybe he underwent the same training you did.  Underneath that calm, he was nervous.  He felt guilty about not keeping me safe and allowing me to get captured.  He was dreading his punishment, he knew the General was going to be furious with him. " Dolphed, " you said, while putting your shoes back on, " Do you know of anyplace we could go, friendly to the First Order?"

 

     " We can't be far from the Outer Rim, maybe we could go to Arkanis."

 

     "Arkanis, that is a good idea.  The General keeps a place there, I know the codes to get in.  Now, if everyone is ready, we really do need to go."

 

     No sooner had you started out a handful of Resistance came around the corner and before anybody could say anything blasters started firing from all directions.  You felt your anxiety creeping up, now was not the time, you told yourself. You had never been a part of actual fighting.  The skirmish lasted less than five minutes with our side victorious.  Whoever said stormtroopers couldn't hit anything, didn't know your stormtroopers.  We picked up a few more blasters and went on our way.  Alarms were going off everywhere, the shooting must have alerted them.

 

     We were fortunate not to be involved with any more entanglements until we reached the main door leading to the outside and to the main hanger.  There were twenty some Resistance Fighters strategically placed around the way to the main hanger.  We immediately took cover behind a huge metal container.  From what you could tell there was no way around them. You could see the ship you wanted, just getting there was the problem.

 

     " I'm open to suggestions," you said looking at the four men.

 

     " We need some sort of distraction," the pilot said, " If we could create some kind of explosion."

 

     There was silence and then Lieutenant Mitaka spoke up, " We could hit that," he said pointing to a large container marked flammable.

 

     " Okay," you said, " After the explosion we make a run for it and take our chances.  We need to stay together if we can.  We need to stay on the right side of the explosion, if the fire spreads and causes more explosions, which, I think it will, it will act as a bit of a shield.  Alright then, lets do this."

 

     You nodded at the stormtroopers and they opened fire at the tank. The explosion followed, immediately.  You grabbed Lieutenant Mitaka's hand and motioned for everyone to run.  It was chaotic. Fire was everywhere, there were more explosions.  People were running everywhere, firing blasters and trying to put out the flames.  You all kept running, firing your own blasters at random moving targets, dodging the flames as they spread to the surrounding trees.  You were amazed at how everything was just falling into place, like some god somewhere was looking out for you.  Just as you made it to the main hanger, you heard Lieutenant Mitaka groan, he had been hit.  He squeezed your hand, letting you know that he was okay.  As you continued to run, you saw one of your stormtroopers fall, but he got back up, it looked like he had been hit in the side.

 

     It seemed like eternity before you made it to the ship.  You could feel everybody's relief as they made their way onto the ship.  They knew it was not over yet, but at least were inside and not in the path of any blaster fire.  As you made your way up the ramp, you turned and looked back.  You saw Poe Dameron.  You read his thoughts, briefly, he was impressed, a little girl causing so much damage.  He was going to come after you and you knew you would see him again, but next time, he may not leave alive.

 

     Once aboard the ship, you made your way to the cockpit.  The pilot and Lieutenant Mitaka was already preparing the ship for take off and the stormtroopers were manning what looked like weapons stations.  It was the pilot's show now.  You just sat back and closed your eyes, hoping everything would turn out alright. 

 

     You felt the ship lurching to and fro.  You knew that we were being pursued and they were hard to shake.  You knew we were getting there though.  The Resistance wasn't going to give us up easily. With us free, we would be able to tell the First Order their exact location.  It seemed like as we lost one set of fighters another one would come.  You wasn't sure what the pilot was doing but whatever it was, was good, we lost them and made our way to the stars.  I gave the code to open the shield and we were on our way.

 

     Another collective sigh of relief came from everyone as he ship made it into space.  We were still having to go through evasive maneuvers as Poe Dameron and his squadron pursued you.  At this point you wondered if they were hoping to recapture you or destroy you completely.  You sat watching all the action out of the main window.  X-wings were everywhere, but we were holding them off.  All this fighting was making it hard for us to make the jump to hyperspace, but we finally did.  You just hoped that they didn't pursue you.

 

     " Commander, the coordinates for Arkanis have been set. Do you want to open a channel to the Finalizer?"

 

     You thought for a minute, " No. I think we should wait till we get to Arkanis, just incase they are monitoring our transmissions."

 

     You put a hand on Lieutenant Mitaka's shoulder, " Dopheld, I saw you get hit, are you alright?"

 

     " Yes, Commander, it was just a graze."

 

     You turned to address the stormtroopers, " You two should go in the back and see if there are any first aid supplies and take care of that wound."

 

     You sat back in your chair.  You so desperately wanted to sleep, but you were afraid to, you still didn't feel safe.  You were slowly losing your adrenaline rush.  You wouldn't sleep until you were back on the Finalizer.  There were so many things running through your mind, so many emotions.  You wanted to breakdown and cry, but you had to remain strong, for your men. You were so close to losing it, it was just a matter of time.  All you wanted was to be safe in your bed with your General holding you.

 

     You was wondering how the General was handling this whole situation.  Surely he knew we escaped and wasn't in route to the Resistance Base.  You knew he was going to want to retaliate, you just hoped he would wait until the space station was complete so they could be ended once and for all.  He's just so hard to control when he is angry.  You knew you had to tell him about Poe Dameron, that wasn't going to go over well.  Dameron's only hope to live was never to get caught.  Preparations had to be made in case they made an attempt to steal the plans to the space station, surely The Resistance wouldn't send anyone on such a mission. Whoever signed up for such a mission would be signing their own death warrant.  Just thinking about all this, was causing your anxiety levels to rise.

 

     You were brought back to present by an alarm sounding.  We were approaching our destination, Arkanis.  You could feel that this nightmare was about to end.  Scans showed no Resistance fighters in the area.  You told the pilot to land on the landing pad overlooking the old academy.  Surely no one would see the ship there.  The academy was abandoned and had been that way since the General and his father left, when the old Empire was falling.  You often wondered what it was like for him there.  What did he do to keep himself busy.

 

     You were lucky that it was just one of those days that it was lightly misting.  It didn't matter though, you all would be soaking wet before you reached Scaparus Port, just a few kilometers away.  You never did understand why the General picked this particular place to come back to when he needed to get away.  You had only been brought here twice, before you became involved with him.  All the way there you kept constant vigilance.  You never knew who was lurking about.

 

After an eternity of walking, in heels, you finally made it to the General's private getaway.  It was small, but it suited your purposes.  The first thing you did, once you were inside, was have Lieutenant Mitaka contact the Finalizer.  You set about finding dry clothes and blankets for everyone.  Once everyone was dry, you went to the kitchen to find food.  There wasn't much of anything there, the General hadn't been there in a long time.  You did find some tea and soup.  At least it was something and the men were thankful for it. They all were starving, they didn't eat the dinner that was brought to them, afraid it was poisoned.

 

     After the men were settled, you went to the refresher and locked the door.  You looked at yourself in the mirror, there were bruises on your face, funny you didn't realize it before.  You were sore all over and your head was hurting so bad.  Adrenaline does funny things to the body.  All the emotions from before just rushed over you and you broke down.  You couldn't seem to stop.  You survived, and you should be thankful for that, but you kept thinking about the what ifs.  What if someone died because of you decisions.  What if you didn't make it. The more you thought the more you cried.  There was a knock at the door that brought you back to reality.  It was Lieutenant Mitaka, he wanted to inform you that the Finalizer would be approaching Arkanis in fifteen minutes.  You cleaned your face, pulled yourself together and out to the living area to wait with your men.  He may have been fifteen minutes away, but you knew he was near and that it was over.

 

  

 

 

 


	11. How Many Times Can a Heart Break?

     You curled up in a chair in a corner with a large blanket to wait.  You had no intentions of going to sleep, even though your could feel the exhaustion.  All the tension and anxiety in the room was getting to you, it took all your strength not to scream or cry.  The silence was maddening, the only sound was the pouring rain.  Usually you were good at filtering others emotions and feelings but as tired as you were, your walls were down.  Everyone was anxious, nervous, wanting to be doing something.  All were men of action and felt they should be out there doing something, walking the perimeter of the house, guarding the door, doing something other than just sitting.

 

     The minutes passed by so slowly, it seemed like hours.  You looked at the clock, thirty minutes had passed.  You wondered, along with everyone else what was taking so long.  The only explanation was a skirmish of some kind.  Maybe the resistance did follow you.  Poe Dameron certainly alluded to it.  You wanted to look out the window, it was daybreak, you could possibly see something.  But you didn't, Resistance could be anywhere.  You could scan the minds in the town, but you were too weak for that.

 

     And then, as if on cue, you heard the unmistakable screeching of a tie fighter.  A few minutes later you heard the muffled, angry voice of the General.  As he entered the room, he immediately started barking orders to the twelve men that accompanied him.  He was angry, he continued yelling at he men in the room and those on the other end of his commlink.  There was so many people in room, so much hustling and bustling, that you couldn't even see the General, but you heard him, he was questioning your men, trying to ascertain what happened.  You could sense that it was making him angrier. You wanted to find him and maybe calm him, but you waited.

 

     Finally, you saw him, working his way through the crowd.  You felt his relief as the two of you made eye contact.  You wanted to run to him, jump in his arms, but when you tried to get up your body ached, so you let him come to you.  He knelt down in front of you.  You expected to see the anger in his blue eyes that you had been sensing in him, but all you saw was relief and concern. 

     " (Y/N), sweetheart, are you all right, did they hurt you?" he asked peppering kisses all over your face, " I was so worried, we were in route there when we heard of your escape."

 

     "Armitage, love, I'm fine. Just sore and a little banged up from the crash.  They didn't hurt me.  I've never been more glad to see you.  I was worried about you, it took you so long to get here." you said, holding him, as if your life depended on it.

 

     " We had a bit of a skirmish.  They came out of hyperdrive just as we did.  They must think your very important to come after you," he said trying to make light of the situation. You knew what he was thinking, why. Why would they risk coming after you, knowing that it would mean certain death.

 

     He motioned for the medic.  As you removed the blanket for the medic, the General's face grew angry again, seeing all the bruises and cuts.  The medic poked, prodded, and asked questions.  After a semi-thorough examination, it was determined you had no broken bones, no internal injuries, you did, however, have a small concussion.  He told you that you would be sore for a while and that most likely have headaches for while.  The medic left with the other men. You wrapped back up in the blanket, feeling too exposed since you were just wearing one of the General's undershirts.

 

     He knelt down in front of you again and cupped your cheeks with his large hands, " Sweetheart, do you feel like leaving?  If you're in too much pain, we can stay here the night."

 

     " No," you said, " I want to go home. I want to be our bed."

 

     " Alright, love, we'll go.  There is a lull in the rain.  We can make it to the shuttle before the next downpour."

 

     You nodded and moved to get up.  He stopped you and picked you up.  You were thankful, you didn't think your body would let you walk.  You tucked your head to his chest, listening to the steadiness of his heart beat.  It was calming, relaxing, you knew you were safe now.

 

     The hot water felt so good on your body.  You could feel your muscles relax and the aches and pains subside.  A hot, bubble bath was all you wanted as soon as you made it back to the Finalizer.  The General, wanting nothing but to hold you, reluctantly agreed.  You knew he was going to use the opportunity to look into what happened, reading the reports from your men, reading the reports from the ship that crashed, you remembered seeing its wreckage in the shuttle bay.  You were curious about what that report showed, you remembered the pilot mentioning sabotage just before you crashed.  You wondered who did it and why.  You doubted it was the Resistance, that would be an elaborate scheme just to take you prisoner.  And besides, there would be no sure way to make sure you survived the crash.  It was someone who wanted you dead for whatever reason.

 

     You walked out of the refresher. The General was sitting up in bed looking at his datapad.  As you walked over to your dressing table, you felt the General's eyes on you.  You were wearing his favorite nightgown.  He insisted on short ones, this one in particular was made of light blue Ranothian cotton, with long sleeves and trimmed in lace.  You saw him watching you in the mirror has you brushed your hair.  He always did. 

     " What's this?" you asked pointing to a glass of water and a very long tablet sitting beside it.

 

     " Dr. Benteeno sent it.  He said it would help you rest and dull the pain." 

 

     You swallowed the tablet down and got into bed beside him.  You had been looking forward to this for so long.  He pulled you to him, wrapping his arms around you, holding you more tightly than he ever has before.  The combination of his intoxicating cologne and his warm body made the medication take effect fairly quickly. You were in that blissful stage where you were still awake, but so calm, so relaxed and in no pain.   The ship could be spiraling out of control to certain doom and you wouldn't care.  As you were laying there, in this blissful state, you seemed to be rambling, not recalling what you were saying even as you were saying it.  Was the General even talking, you could barely even feel his arms around you as the numbness of sleep was overtaking you.  As things faded to black, you seemed to feel the General move slightly, but you really couldn't tell.

 

     When you awoke the next morning, the General was already gone, it was mid-morning after all.  You couldn't recall the events of the night before, except getting into bed.  You always had weird reactions to those types of medications.  You hated when the General left before you woke up.  You really needed to get to the office.  You had a feeling things were going to be a bit crazy for the next few days.  You were going to have to be debriefed.  As much as you hated it you knew it was going to happen.  You really didn't want to tell the tale.  You already had decided to skip over the encounter you had with Poe Dameron.  But the whole thing made you nervous.  Maybe the General would be the one to debrief you or least  be able to tell you what to expect.

 

     You put your uniform on, did your hair and set out for your office.  As you approached the door to the office, you had a sudden sense of foreboding, it was so overwhelming, you seriously considered not even going in, it was that bad.  Maybe you were just picking up on the remnants of the General's anger from the last few days.  You went in, against your better judgment, the General didn't even look up.  You went to your desk and began working. You worked for a few hours and still nothing from the General.  Something was not right. You couldn't put your finger on it, but whatever it was, it was not good.

 

     It was lunch time.  You usually ate lunch with the General, in the office, but he left and had not come back yet, so you ate alone.  You worked and ate, you really wanted to finish so you could leave, you were so uncomfortable.  You didn't want to be around when he came back.  You didn't know what was going on and you didn't want to find out.  You finished mid-afternoon, but as you were getting ready to leave, he came in.  He looked directly at you.  You sat down and made yourself look busy.  You had never really been frightened of him, that is until now.  He was sending out vibes that you had never felt from him before.  You really wanted to get out of there.

 

     " You looked like you getting ready to go somewhere, sweetheart, where you leaving?"

 

     Hesitantly you answered, " Well, I was.  I finished early and I have a bit of a headache, I was going to lay down a bit before dinner."

 

     He walked over to you and turned your chair so he could kneel down in front of you.  He took your hands into his and looked at you intently, making you even more uncomfortable, " I've been thinking all day about what exactly to do with you, love."  he said squeezing your hands tightly. 

 

     " I don't understand, why would you need to think about what to do with me?" you asked unsure if wanted to know the answer.

 

     " Well after your very candid report about what happened at the Resistance Base, I really have to do something.  I'm not saying your a traitor, love, you followed my teachings exactly, everyone was saved.  I do question your affections for a certain pilot.  You rambled on and on about his affections for you and the kiss you shared.  Even telling me you thought that it was he that came after you while you were on Arkanis.  One can only think, love."

 

     You wasn't quite sure what to say.  Was he accusing you of having affections for Poe Dameron.  You didn't even remember him questioning you last night.  " You questioned me last night?  You know that those types of medications make me wonky and you questioned me anyway?"  you said in disbelief.

 

     He squeezed your hands tighter, causing you to wince and try to break free from his grip, this making him grip you even tighter, " What did you think, love?  My fiancé admits to letting another man kiss her, do you think I wouldn't go after the truth.  And you were very candid about it."

 

     This was not going to go well.  You knew that when he was angry like this he wouldn't listen to reason.  He was accusing of basically cheating on him, wanting the pilot, wanting his affections, liking it.  Maybe it was because your mind was mixed up or maybe you were just not thinking before you spoke, " I'm done.  I can't do this anymore.  I was captured and he forced himself on me.  I just can't handle this side of you anymore," you said calmly, fighting back tears. You took off your engagement ring and put it on your desk, " You can do whatever you like, transfer me, let me resign, I don't really care anymore."

 

     Still kneeling in front of you, he picked up your engagement ring and forced it back on your finger.  He got up and walked to the door.  Before he left, he turned and said, " You forget, my love, I told you in the beginning, I will not accept a transfer request or your resignation.  You are my assistant and you will always be my assistant and your are mine.  Oh, and love, don't wait up for me, I won't be home till late."

 

     Why did you even go in that direction, You knew you didn't want to leave him. You only said what you did out of anger.  You really didn't know where to go from here, you didn't know what to do.  Things had gone too far, it was never going to be the same, whatever you had with him before was gone.  You had worked so hard to get back to him and now he was breaking your heart.  How many times can a heart break before its no longer repairable?  Maybe yours was already at that point.  You kept waiting for the tears to flow but they never came.

 

     You were in shock.  You walked down the corridors in a daze, barely acknowledging where you were or the people you passed.  If you talked to them, you wasn't aware.  You were heading to the Officer's Dining Hall, but you passed it by.  You saw him in there, gazing at some dark-haired officer. You wasn't going to subject yourself to that.  You went to your quarters. You was thankful it was dark and quiet inside.  Your head was pounding.  This day couldn't end soon enough.  You gazed out into space for a while.  Millicent was sitting on your lap as you dozed off.

 

     You awoke to the sound of your alarm going off, you thought maybe yesterday was a terrible dream,  but you were still on the sofa and Millicent was curled up beside you.  You wondered if he even came home last night.  You went to the bedroom, the bed was made, but that was nothing new, he always made the bed before he left.  In the bathroom his towel was damp and hanging up, but, he could of come home briefly for a shower and to change into a fresh uniform.  You half-heartedly got dressed. No make up, hair just up, nothing elaborate. You took a calming powder and out the door you went. 

 

     You went into the office, the same as you did the day before.  There was no talking, no glances.  If you did communicate, it was through your datapad.  You were amazed at how well things were getting done with hardly any communication.  Lunch came and went, you didn't even realize.  The afternoon passed by quickly; one meeting, two memorandums to send out and three holoconferences to arrange for the next week.  He left before you did.  You ordered you dinner, it was to be brought to your quarters, and you left for the day. 

 

     You sat down to eat dinner, one of you favorites, pasta with roasted vegetables in a cream sauce.  You were so exhausted mentally, emotionally.  You went through things over and over in your mind.  If you said something different, did something different, would you still be in this predicament?  You didn't want to dwell on anything, the past, the present, the future.  What if things didn't work out, would you be destined for a miserable life?  You were going to be tied to him for the rest of your life, unless he changed his mind and let you go, you laughed to yourself, that was never going to happen.  This whole thing was just too painful.  You didn't want to think about it anymore today, maybe you would think about it tomorrow.  You just wanted an empty mind.

 

     You had to be strong, show no weakness, not in front of him anyway.  That's what he wanted, you to be a weak, simpering fool, begging him to love you and never leave you, just like he begged for you.  You were hurt and in pain and you wanted to do just that, but you wouldn't.  Things would get better.  Maybe things would work out, maybe they wouldn't, but the pain would go away, eventually.

 

     You took a shower, hoping the water would wash away all emotions, all thoughts.  As the water washed over you, all the memories came rushing over you.  You remembered the day he told you of his feelings for you, the day he came for you on Ranoth, all the late night conversations.  Finally the tears came.  You had wondered if you even had any.  The strength you so desperately wanted to maintain wasn't there.  Maybe it was a good thing to let it all out now, in private.  So you sat in the floor of shower with your arms around your knees and cried. This would be the only time, you allowed yourself only five more minutes and then you wouldn't cry anymore.

 

     You got out of the shower.  Looking in the mirror, you saw your face was still a little bruised and you were pale.  Your eyes were a little red, but the dark circles stood out the most.  You put on your fuzzy pajamas, the ones he hates, but you love.  You braided your long blonde hair, something else he hates.  You wondered, were you doing it all for spite, maybe just a little, but you just wanted to be comfortable.  You didn't know what the night was going to hold.  You thought about another night on the sofa, but that was dashed.  He was sitting in his chair drinking a glass of whiskey, when you walked in.  You felt his eyes on you, as you walked to the small kitchen to get a glass of water and then to the bedroom with Millicent closely following you.  You thought you heard him chuckle, but wasn't sure.  An hour later, you heard him come into the bedroom.  He got undressed and got into the bed, keeping his back turned to you.

 

     The next few days were a little harsh.  He did start talking to you, if it was only to bark orders at you.  You maintained your own routine; work, maybe lunch at your desk, half eaten dinner in your quarters, shower and then bed.  Millicent was always by your side, it was quite comical.  Maybe she just knew you were going through some rough times.  The General was at home every night, but one.  He was with that dark-haired whore again and she thought she was so lucky.  If she really knew the hell that he was capable of putting someone through, she may run the other way. 

 

     In those few days, there was a staff meeting.  You had to give a brief report regarding you time with the Resistance, the escape, and what they may be planning.  You told them that they wanted the plans to the space station and the weapon.  That they were desperate and knew that it would mean the end of them when it became fully operational.  No one seemed to overly concerned, even you had to admit you wasn't that concerned.  The only place that had the full schematics of the space station and weapon was the Finalizer and you were the only one to know where exactly they were hidden.  A scheme the General had thought of incase he was captured.  Everyone knew it was impossible to get them.  After the meeting you went back to your desk and worked.  That was the night the General didn't come home.

 

     But you wasn't alone.  At the staff meeting Kylo Ren got into your mind.  He wanted to talk to you.  He knew of the problems you were having and he knew that you spoke to his mother.  He was curious.  He seemed to always come to you when you were having problems.  He was always a voice of reason. But you knew that there was nothing to be done in this case.  You had no problem letting him into your mind, you really didn't want to relay the whole story, it was just easier.  You let him see it all; the discussions with his mother, the escape, Poe Dameron, your troubles with the General. 

 

     After leaving your mind, he sat in silence for a few minutes before speaking, " My mother is just as foolish as my father was." he said bitterly.

 

     " You're her son, she loves you.  A mother's love never dies.  Clinging to hope that you'll come back, that's all she has.  She knows that even if you did you would never be the boy she knew."

 

     " The boy she loved is gone, he's been dead a long time.  I never wanted to be sent away, you know.  It wasn't until Snoke showed me the true way that I embraced my destiny.  Luke Skywalker was weak then, just as he is now.  They are all weak, I will never return to that life."

 

     He had never really spoken to you of his family or when he was younger.  There was so much anger and bitterness in him.  You had always wondered why he turned, though you had a bit of a rapport, you didn't feel comfortable asking him and you definitely didn't want to get into his mind, even if did let you, you were afraid of what you would see there.  You knew he was tracking down Luke Skywalker and his new apprentice and it was taking a toll on him.  He was growing weary just like everyone else.  He wanted it all to end. 

 

     You both sat in silence, contemplating your thoughts, and then he spoke, " You told her I was your friend."

 

     " I suppose you are.  What we have is the closest thing to a friendship I have."  you said a quietly, a bit surprised that he mentioned it.

 

     He smiled slightly, " I also consider you my friend."

 

     You smiled.  You all of a sudden felt very sad, maybe it was because you realized how truly alone you were, or you realized it was late and the General hadn't come home yet.

 

     " I know what you're feeling, its written all over your face.  You're not taking care of yourself, not eating, not sleeping.  People are noticing, worried.  He worries about you," you scoffed and he continued, " You haven't lost him, he will come around."

 

      " What if I don't want him to.  He's openly cheating on me, the whole ship knows it.  He's deliberately hurting me because he has it in his head that I hurt him, that I let Poe Dameron kiss me.  He forced himself on me, it was completely one sided. I told him this and doesn't believe me.  Why would I want him back?"

 

     " Because you love him."

 

     " Sometimes love isn't enough.  He doesn't trust me.  He will listen to my ramblings when I'm out of it, but not the truth.  How will I ever be able to trust him.  How do I know he hasn't had other women before.  What if he decides to continue whatever this is with that dark-haired whore?  What if he likes her better than me?"  You felt yourself on the verge of hysterics so you stopped.

 

     Kylo grabbed your hand, " You just have to trust him."

 

     " Like he trusts me?"

 

     " You must have faith and patience."

 

    " I'm afraid I'm running thin on both of those."

 

     " He loves you, (Y/N), just give it time."

 

     You talked for a little while longer, until you were completely exhausted and couldn't keep your eyes open any longer.  Kylo must of stayed until you fell asleep because you woke up with a blanket, something you didn't have the night before.   Again the General was already gone or he didn't come home that night.  It just made you feel so empty inside.  You had a notion not to even to the office today.  It was no longer the fact that he didn't trust you, that he thought you cheated on him.  You really wasn't angry that he questioned you when you were so out of it.  It was the cheating, that was the hardest pill to swallow.  You could really deal with anything, but this was killing you.  Going to the office just meant you would have to look at him, knowing what he had done the night before.  You really didn't want any of that.

 

     You sucked it up and went anyway, you would not appear weak.  Words were not spoken and glances were not made.  You wondered if he even felt bad about what he did.  He must know he was hurting you terribly.  You did your work, not even taking a break for lunch. You finished early and left even before the General.  This went on for another two days, your self imposed isolation.  In those two days, you did notice a change in yourself.  It was getting easier to breath.  You was feeling a bit more optimistic.  You were not with him and you wasn't dead, you did survive.  Things were going to get better.  There was still a hole where your heart should be, but you knew it was time to move on the best you could, considering you were still his, technically.

 

     After a little over a week since the semi-breakup you went to work looking like your old self, even if you didn't feel like your old self.  You put on one of you tighter fitting skirts, your make up was perfect, your hair was perfect, too, and you smelled good, you even wore those heels you wasn't supposed to wear.  You were getting quite a few looks going down the corridor, and they weren't of pity, either.

 

     As you walked into the office and over to your desk, you felt the General's eyes on you.  Even as you were working you knew he was watching you, you just ignored him and went on about you business.  There was a few meetings you had to attend with him, you was sure to walk behind him, he hated it, and you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of letting him watch you walk, which is why he always liked for you to walk ahead of him.  You may give the impression that you were okay, but this thing was making you so uncomfortable.  You were just so angry with him.  Kylo was right, you did love him, but you just didn't know if you could forgive him.  Not trusting you, cheating on you, it was all just a little too much.  The rest of the day you spent working , trying to avoid him. But it didn't work.  He made you bring things to him, show him things on his datapad.  Every time you went near him, you could tell he was breathing in the aroma of the perfume that he bought you a year ago.  You knew he was up to something.  The day passed and it was soon dinner time.  You got up to leave, you were going to dine in your quarters again.  He was also leaving, but you didn't think anything of it, until he blocked the door.

 

     " (Y/N), you need to come to the dining hall, people are beginning to wonder."

 

     "General, I have no intentions of going to the dining hall.  I refuse to watch you ogle your whore while I eat."

 

     He grabbed you by your arm and jerked you down the hall, " You will go, you will smile and be your beautiful, wonderful self."

 

     You tried to break free from his grip, but he was unrelenting.  The dining hall was crowded and everyone did seem glad to see you, except, of course, the dark-haired whore., her smile evaporated as soon as came in the door with your hand in his.  Dinner was not the best experience.  The General kept hold of your right hand, forcing you to eat solely with your left.  He was deep in conversation with others while you were having the strangest conversation with Captain Phasma.  It was rare to see her without her helmet and apparently she had a liking for all things girly. As dinner progressed and dessert was served, you regained the use of your right hand as the General found it necessary to put his arm around your shoulders. You still didn't know what he was up to, was it for show or did he have something else in mind.

 

 

     Dinner was over, you both made your way to your quarters, the General holding your hand the entire way.  No sooner had you gotten through the door and got your shoes off, did the General pin you against the wall and violently kiss you.  His tongue forced its way into your mouth, you could still taste the wine from dinner.  You tried to push him away, but he was too strong.  As his kiss deepened and became more passionate,  your anger relented and gave way to the passion burning inside you that rivaled the Generals.  The moment you stopped fighting, he released your shoulders.  His lips trailed down to your neck, finding that one spot, just behind your earlobe. You moaned as he playfully nipped at it.  You tangled you fingers in his hair and slightly pulled as he continued the assault on your neck.  His lips found yours again, as he started squeezing your breasts through your jacket, and not being satisfied, her tore your jacket off, his lips never leaving yours.  He undid your bra and resumed caressing your breasts and lightly pinching your already hard nipples. 

 

     You undid his jacket and slid your hands inside massaging his chest.  He broke the kiss to remove his jacket and undershirt.  You swirled your tongue around your tongue around his nipples, nipping at them as you moved your way up to his neck, eliciting a moan from him.  You felt his hand moving underneath your skirt and pulling aside you knickers.  He slid one finger inside of you and then another, slowly pumping in and out, his thumb messaging your clit.

 

     " Fuck, Armitage, please faster," you moaned.

 

     His lips were on yours again as the hand between your legs moved faster and faster.  You could feel it in the pit of your stomach, you were so close.  You felt his hot breath on your neck as he whispered, "I want you to come for me, sweetheart." and then he nibbled on your special spot just below ear lobe.

 

     He pumped his fingers inside of faster and faster.  You saw stars as the waves of your climax washed over your body.  As you were coming down, he picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist.  You could look into his eyes now, none of the anger of the previous week was there, only the fire and passion that had always been there when he looked at you.  You started peppering kisses on cheek and jaw line making your way to his neck.

 

     With you in his arms, he moved towards the bedroom.  He put you down and started removing the rest of your clothes.  As your skirt and knickers fell to the floor, you heard his breath catch as he took in the sight of your naked body, " You're so beautiful, " he whispered , as he pushed you onto the bed, " I need to be inside of you."

 

     He stood and finished undressing, and then he was on top of you, pushing his hard cock inside of you.  You moaned as he started thrusting hard inside of you.  He was holding you down, so you couldn't move, you were completely at his mercy.  His rhythm was so hard and so fast you couldn't adjust.  You wrapped your legs around his waist, changing the angle a bit.  He was hitting your sweet spot now, you couldn't hold out much longer and your could tell neither could he.  With a few final thrusts, you both came.  Worn out from the intensity of the moment, you both just laid there, holding each other, relishing the moment.

 

     Laying in the darkness wrapped in his arms, you wondered where things were going to go from here.  Was he thinking the same thing.  There were so many things that needed to be said, and you doubted they would ever be.  You wanted to yell at him, hurt him as much as he hurt you. But you knew you wouldn't.  You loved him.  And even though he hurt you, you knew he loved you.  You didn't want this rift to continue.

 

     " Armitage, what are we going to do?" you asked quietly.

 

     " I don't know, love.  It seems like I always do the wrong thing when it comes to you.  I always manage to hurt you."

 

     " What do you want me to do?"

 

     He was still holding you his hands intertwined with yours, " Tell me what happened with the pilot."

 

     The one thing you really didn't want to do and that's what he wanted you to do, so you began the tale, " I began reading his mind immediately after I woke up.  He was attracted to me, but was conflicted about it.  He thought I was probably a bad person, just like you.  After I was identified, he did research on me, knew everything about me, about us.  He took me to General Organa and then after I was questioned, he was to take me to my cell.  He tried talking to me, asked me why I was in the First Order, why I was with you.  He called you a monster and that if you had to you would kill me.  That's when he forced himself on me.  All he did was kiss me, but it made me so nervous, so uncomfortable. You're the only person I've ever been with in that way.  I hated him then, just as I do now.  I told him I loved you and no one else.  I briefly saw him again as we were getting on the ship.  I read his mind, he was going to come after me.  I don't know if it was because of anger at what we had done or something else.  The whole time I was there, my only thought was to get away and get back to you."

 

     He was silent, you wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.  " Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

 

     " You were too angry to listen."

 

     He chuckled, " You know me too well.  You could have said something sooner."

     " Why, you've been a bit pre-occupied, what with dark-haired whores and such." you could almost hear him scowl. You continued, " Are you going to continue seeing her?"

 

     " No, I've already ended it.  I don't expect you to forgive me. I know what I've done has hurt you terribly."

 

     " I want to forgive you," you said tearing up, " You broke my heart. "

 

     " I will do whatever it takes.  I do love you." he said leaning over and kissing your cheek.

 

     " I love you too, but..." you broke down into tears and couldn't finish your thought.

 

     The General turned you around to face him, " (Y/N), I love you and will do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness, for as long as it takes, " he said pulling you closer to him.

 

     You buried your face in his chest and thought about what he said.  You wanted to forgive him, then and there, but you were still hurting because of what he had done.  Eventually, you would forgive him, but it would take time.  You wouldn't be able to trust him, not for a while.  You went to sleep with your head buried in his chest, wondering when things were going to get better.

 

 

 

 

 

    


	12. A Series of Unlucky Happenings.

     The next morning you woke to the find the General was still there, going about his normal morning routine, so you sat about doing yours.  You felt the soreness as you got up, in your back and between your legs.  Your shower would be extra hot this morning.  You wanted to stay in the shower forever, but you could only allow for twenty minutes.  You did feel better when the water stopped, but nothing like your normal self.  The General was standing there as you got out with your juice, just like normal.  You thanked him and commence to drying your hair.

 

     You came out in just your undergarments, you felt the General's eyes on you.  He was sitting on the bed beside the uniform he laid out for you.  You went to grab it, but before you could, he grabbed you and pulled you onto his lap.  You wasn't sure what to do, exactly.  You wanted to jump up and yell at him, you wanted to hit him.  You knew none of those would be met with great enthusiasm.  You wanted his touch, longed for it, the whole time you were fighting.  Now, you wasn't sure.  You didn't know how you was supposed to feel or what you wanted.  You still wanted him, you knew that, but you were afraid.  What if he thought of her when he was touching you.  What if he wanted her more.

 

     You stayed on his lap, you really didn't want to argue with him this morning.  " I meant what I said last night, (Y/N), whatever it takes, for as long as it takes.  You mean everything to me.  You'll see, I'll be the man you want me to be, the man you deserve."

 

     You had heard that before, when you left after your first fight.  You knew he wasn't going to change, it wasn't in his nature.  He was still going to be the possessive, jealous man he always has been.  You had even learned to deal with that, for the most part, you couldn't handle the cheating.  You wouldn't.  He may not ever cheat again, but he was never going to change.  You just had to deal with that. 

 

     " I want her sent away,"  you said, hoping you sounded strong and forceful.

 

     " Of course, I've already looked into finding a replacement.  It will be a few months before it can take place, though."

 

     " That's fine, as long as she goes," you said trying to get up.

 

     " I don't want to be without you, (Y/N)," he said, looking into your eyes, before pulling you into a quick kiss.

 

     The next two weeks passed by as normal as normal could be given the circumstances.  You and the General got back into your normal daily routine.  You hadn't slept with him since that night.  You really wasn't ready for that.  He was being patient, just as he said he would.  But you knew from experience, that he would not be patient for long. 

 

     The only time you saw the dark-haired whore was at dinner.  The two of you had a contest, who could glare at the other the longest.  You won, naturally.  Other than dinner, she avoided you.  You suspected she had been ordered to, because you knew, she wanted nothing more to get in your face to boast and brag about bedding the General.  Such a disgusting whore.

 

     The next week brought the first in a series of unlucky happenings.  You were at dinner when the red alert sounded.  The General, after getting off his comm link, grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the door.  You made it to the bridge just in time to see an x-wing fly across the main viewer.  The General was still holding you while Lieutenant Mitaka gave him the report.  Apparently, the Resistance had just attacked one of our smaller bases, and we were the closest to come and assist them. 

 

     The Resistance had made several other desperate attacks in the last few weeks.  It was hard ascertain why.  The bases that had been attacked, had not been very important, they were all smaller ones, it made no sense at all.  You watched as the Resistance squadron was decimated.  It didn't take very long at all.  After the skirmish, the General sent you to your quarters, while he met with the senior officers.

 

     You was glad to get away.  You had not been feeling well for last two days.  You were so tired and constantly nauseous.  You chalked up to the stress you had been under lately.  You found yourself wishing that Kylo Ren was on board.  You liked talking to him, he understood you and he helped you see things more clearly, even if you didn't want to.  He had went away with his Knights of Ren.  The rumor was that he had come upon the location of Luke Skywalker and his new apprentice. 

 

     You was just dozing off when the General got in the bed with you.  He pulled you to his so your head was resting on his chest.  You just laid there taking comfort in the moment.  You were out in ten minutes.

 

     The next morning you awoke before the General.  The nausea from the day before was back, only worse.  You stood up, but before you could do anything else, you had to dash to the refresher and vomit up the contents of your stomach.  As you came out, you could see that the General was still asleep.  And for that, you were so thankful.  He was already hovering around you as much as he could, if he even suspected that you were sick, it would be ten times worse.

 

     You still shuddered when you thought about the time you had the flu.  He made you go see the doctor three times, because he thought you wasn't getting better quick enough.  He brought you all your meals to you in bed.  When he had to leave, if you got out of the bed, he made a droid alert him, so he could yell at you though the comm link to get back in the bed.  He made you take vile medicines, you were sure that some them wasn't medicines at all, just home remedies that is nanny gave him growing up.  And all this was before you and he started seeing each other.  No, you did not want him to know you were under the weather.

 

     The rest of the day went as normal as could be.  Of course you had to make excuses to leave the office so you could use the refresher down the hall to vomit up breakfast and lunch.  You hoped whatever it was, wouldn't last much longer.  The vomiting wasn't to bad, but the fatigue was getting out of hand.  You're pretty sure you dozed off a few times at your desk.  If whatever sickness this was got any worse, you may not be able to hide it. 

 

     The second unlucky happening came in the form of an unplanned and unwelcome visit from Kimne Lux.  This week was turning bad really quickly.  Whatever was wrong with you wasn't getting any better, it was getting worse.  You had a constant headache and you were irritable.  And now Kimne Lux was on board.  Whatever his reason, the General was sure to be in a bad mood for weeks, if didn't actually kill the man, the last time he was on board was a vey close call.

 

     Kimne Lux came into the office, he was not his usual self.  Of course you stayed in the corner at your desk, far away from them.  You couldn't hear everything, but you made out the gist of the situation.  There was an explosion on board the space station.  It was unclear whether it was an accident or not, but either way, it set the completion date back at least two months.  The General was furious.  You looked up as he started yelling, screaming.  You wasn't sure what happened to his usual calm demeanor, you just hoped it would come back.  You couldn't handle him being angry while you were feeling so bad.  You watched as Kimne Lux slunk out of the office, with the General yelling after him that he would kill him personally if it was completed soon.

 

     The General stormed out, without saying a word.  At first, you were grateful, he missed lunch and missed you vomiting it back up.  As the hours dragged by, you became a little worried.  He had only stayed gone like this when he was angry with you, but as far as you knew, he wasn't angry with you.  You wanted to go look for him, but you were a bit afraid.  When he stayed gone before, he was with the dark-haired whore, but what could he be doing now?  You sucked it up and went to look for him.  You looked everywhere; you quarters, the conference room, the bridge, the room he talked to Snoke in.  You finally found him, he was in the ship's cantina.  You were surprised to see him there, as he disliked it so.

 

     Without saying a word, you sat down beside him at the bar, taking his hand in yours.  You ordered a water, at that was the only thing your stomach was allowing you to drink.  You sat there, allowing him the chance to speak first and say what was on his mind.

 

     " I really hate that man," he said quietly, " I don't know if I can endure him much longer. The whole time he was in our office, I wanted to kill him with my bare hands.  If he wasn't needed, I would do it.  He's too arrogant, and I hate the way he looks at you."

 

     " The space station will be completed soon and then he won't be needed."

 

     He looked at you questioningly, " What are you saying, love?"

 

     " Nothing.  I was just thinking about how accidents can happen when least expected."

 

     " I would have never thought, sweetheart, that you were so devious," he said putting your hand to his lips.

 

     " I learned from the best, love," you said with a smirk, " And besides, I don't like him either."

 

     Unlucky happening number three came the next day.  It was the day of the final report of the crash investigation was to be presented.  Lieutenant Mitaka gave the presentation.  You had been eager to hear this for a while.  You were a bit anxious about it, a little afraid of finding out the truth.  The anxiety was definitely not doing you stomach any favors.

 

     According to the report, it was sabotage.  There was remnants of an explosive device found amongst the wreckage.  It also didn't detonate fully.  It was actually supposed to blow the whole ship up, but only did minor damage, causing the pilot to crash land.  It was still unclear who was behind the attack.  Everyone involved had been cleared.  It was obvious that you were the main target.  It was also clear that the Resistance was not behind it but did capitalize on it.  You were more valuable to them alive than dead.  It was a homemade device and not easily traceable.  The report left more questions than answers.

 

     It was all very troubling.  You sat at you desk going over everything.  Why were the target, is it an enemy of the General's or of you.  You could tell the General was thinking over the same things you were.  If he was making a mental list of all his enemies, that was going to be a very long list.  You were composing a mental list of your enemies as well when a wave of nausea hit you so suddenly that you barely made it to the refresher.  He was standing by the door when you came out.  He took you by the hand and guided you to the sofa.

 

     " Sweetheart, I know all this is very troubling and makes you anxious.  We will find out who is responsible."

 

     "  Armitage, its not this that is making me sick, it isn't helping.   I have to tell you something.  I've been sick, sick for the last week."

 

     " Why didn't you say something, sweetheart?  You should have been seen by a doctor."

 

     " I didn't want to worry you," you lied, " I didn't think it would last very long, but it seems to be getting worse.  After hearing the report, I'm just wondering, if maybe I might have been poisoned."

 

     He pulled you to your feet, " We're going to the med bay, to make sure everything is okay,"  he said.  You could feel his anxiety.  It was different than when he's anxious about you being sick, this was something more, maybe he thought you had been poisoned, that maybe you wouldn't make it.

 

     The med bay was blessedly empty.  You went into a small exam room with the General.  Dr. Beteeno poked and prodded and asked you so many questions.  He decided that bloodwork was in order, a lot of bloodwork.  You waited and waited.  The General was getting antsy and started hovering over you.  Do you need anything, are you okay; he asked over and over.  He got you blankets, fluffed your pillows.  This was not going to work, if you were going to be sick for a while or even die the hovering was going to have to stop. 

 

     After about an hour the doctor came back with his data pad.  He didn't seem nervous or upset, so maybe that was a good thing.  " Miss (Y/L/N) you are not being poisoned."

 

     " Well doctor, what's wrong with her then?" the General bellowed.

 

     The doctor smiling, said, " Miss (Y/L/N), there's nothing to worry about.  You're pregnant."

 

     As soon as the words was uttered, everything went black.  You had fainted.  You didn't know how long you were out, but when you came to, the General, who was holding your hand, and Dr. Beteeno was standing over you. 

 

     "Sweetheart, are you alright?"

 

     You looked up at him, there was something in his eyes, something you had not seen before. " I'm not really sure," you whispered.

 

     You were pregnant.  How did this happen? You took the shot every three months, this should not be happening.  Everything was racing though your mind all at once.  It was too soon, you wasn't ready.  You wasn't married, the Resistance had not been destroyed yet and your relationship with the General was not in the best of places at this time.

 

     You listened as  Dr. Beteeno explained your situation.  Apparently, you missed your shot while you were being held by the Resistance and with everything that has happened in the last few weeks you had forgotten all about it.  He also said that with the shot you would usually be protected for a least a month after your missed dose, but because the Resistance doctor gave you antibiotics, it counteracted with the shot and made it useless.  He gave you and the General the whole spiel on what to expect when your expecting.  He gave you medicines to help with the nausea, the headaches, and your anxiety.  He gave you supplements and vitamins. 

 

     The General was being very quiet, it was alarming.  You couldn't tell if he was angry or happy.  You had talked about having children, of course, but it was to be after you were married and on the new space station.  Given the details of his birth, you knew he wanted to be married. It was important to him.  The marriage thing wasn't as important to you, all you wanted was to be safe, and you didn't think that was possible as long as he Resistance was around.  With everything going on, you dreaded being alone with him, you just didn't know how he was going to react.

 

     He accompanied you to you quarters and ushered you to the sofa.  You sat while he made you tea.  You waited for him to yell or say something, anything, but he never did.  He just sat with your feet in his lap, rubbing them.  Millicent came and laid on your stomach. The General moved, to swat her away, but you swatted his hand away. 

 

     " Princess, do you think it safe that she lay there?" he asked.

 

     You looked at him incredulously, " Of course it safe, Armitage. She's not squashing him.  And besides, they say cats are very intuitive, she probably senses him in there and is wanting to protect him."

 

     Now he looked at you incredulously.  You sat in silence again.  Suddenly, he asked, " How do you know its a boy, isn't it too soon?"

 

     " I don't know its a boy.  It's just wishful thinking."

 

     You returned to the silence.  He started working from his data pad.  You was enjoying the quiet, so much so that you fell asleep.  When you woke up he was laying behind you, his hand on your belly, gently rubbing it.  He seemed very content, but was he really?

 

     " Princess, why are you so tense?"

 

    " I don't know, Armitage.  I thing the whole thing makes me so nervous.  It's too soon. We're still working though our problems. And I know you wanted to be married first."  you voice was starting to get more high pitched as you went on, " The Resistance, what if they try to take the baby?  What if..." he stopped you before you could go any further.

 

     " (Y/N), you have to stop this, you are working yourself up into a frenzy, it isn't healthy for you or the baby.  The Resistance will not come near you, you need not worry.  As for us not being married and it being too soon, it's fine.  In fact, princess, I think it's perfect, I'm ecstatic.  Whatever it happens to be, I can't wait."

 

     " So you are happy, you're not just saying it to make me feel better?"

 

     " Sweetheart, of course I'm happy, we're having a baby.  I love you, being with you and having a family with you is all I ever wanted." he said, bending over and gently kissed your forehead.

 

     That night you went to bed feeling so much better, as if a big weight had been lifted off of you.  You and the General both decided not to tell anyone right away, although you both thought it a good idea to inform Supreme Leader Snoke and the General was going to do that the next day.  You both decided that it would be a good idea if the General did not hover over you so much, it might make people think something was wrong.  It was more like you telling him and he reluctantly agreeing.  He said something about it being his duty to make sure you were safe.  He was still going to hover over you like a mother hen in private, but hopefully it wouldn't be too bad.

 

     Days passed and things began to normalize.  The nausea was still there, but not to the point that you were having to dash to the refresher all the time.  You were more tired, in fact, you had been caught dozing off at your desk several times.  The General would make a slight noise to wake you, and you would go about your work.  A few times you would wake up to find yourself on the sofa.  Dinnertime was always an adventure, sometimes you stayed, sometimes the odors was too much.  Sometimes you could eat, a lot of the times you couldn't.  You or the General would make a plausible excuse, but you knew people were wondering.  Some thought you were pregnant, some thought you were sick, and one dark-haired whore thought you were broken-hearted that the General turned to her.

 

     He did hover over you, only in your quarters, though.  As much as you initially dreaded it, you really did like it.  He made you sit or lay down as soon as you came in.  He rubbed your feet every night and you never had to get up for anything.  You still wouldn't have sex with him, but you was slowly becoming more intimate in every other way.  It reminded you of how it was in the beginning.

 

  You did have a few minor disagreements.  He did not like Millicent laying on you.  He thought it was unhealthy and that it would harm the baby.  You told him he was being insane and you would let her continue to lay on you as you found her purring relaxing.  You did, however, have to give up a few things the General deemed unhealthy or dangerous.  He would not allow you access to your powders, they could seep into your skin, you had to stop wearing, as he called them, ridiculously high heels, you could fall he said, hot baths were forbidden.  You were really fine with the things you had to give up, you knew you would have to eventually.  Everything was going fine, it seemed things were finally looking up for you. 

 

     Just when you let your guard down and everything is looking good, unlucky happening number four hits you like a brick wall.  You and the General had just finished lunch and you were in the refresher relieving yourself of your lunch, apparently, the baby did not like salad or pie.  As you finished brushing your teeth, you could feel the presence of someone else in the office.  A quick scan told you it was Dr. Beteeno and he was terrified and thankful that you wasn't in the room.  So you stayed in the refresher and listened with you mind.  The dark-haired whore was pregnant and she said it was the General's.  You knew it was his.  She had never been with anyone else other than the General, ever.  You immediately vomited again, the fact that the whore was pregnant with the General's child, just made you sick.

 

     You put yourself straight and left the refresher just as Dr. Beteeno was leaving.  The General's anger was palpable, but you could see no sign of it on his face.  But his eyes, they were stormy.

 

     " Was that Dr. Beteeno?  Is everything all right Armitage?"  you asked, waiting to see in which direction he was going to go.

 

     " Everything is fine, princess, he was just asking after you.  You are all right, aren't you?  You were so long in the refresher."

 

     So, he was going to lie, you knew it was not to hurt you, but to protect you, but it still made you a little irritated.  So you would play along, for a while, " Everything is fine.  The baby apparently doesn't like food, at all, " you said sitting on the corner of his desk.

 

     You started taking notes for a memo that was to go out the next day, when you felt the General's hand on your knee moving up to your thigh.  Your breath caught at the unexpected sensation.  He pushed your legs apart and moved in between them.  You looked up at him as he towered over you, his hand moving further up your skirt.  He rubbed your clit through your knickers.  Your breathing became more heavy as he applied more pressure and went faster. You gripped the sides of his desk and gasped as he pushed aside your knickers and pushed a finger inside of you a little rougher than you expected.  He pushed his finger in and out of you hard, adding another finger as he continued.

 

     He bent down, his hot breath on your neck, " Tell me you want me," he whispered.

 

     " I do want you," you breathed, as you took off your jacket.

 

     " Tell me you love me," he whispered, biting hard into your neck.

 

     " I love you," you whispered, as you ripped open his jacket.

 

     He pulled out his fingers.  You could see them glistening in the light as he put them to your lips, gently pushing them into your mouth.  You sucked on them, caressing them with you tongue.  You watched the General, as he let out a low moan, he was trying to maintain his composure, but it had been a while for both of you.  He pulled them out, tracing a path from your collarbone down to your breasts.  He stepped back and took off his jacket and undid his trousers, freeing his hard cock as he sat in his chair.  You slid off his desk and stood before him.  He pulled you to him, snaking his hand up your skirt, pulling down your knickers.  You stepped out of them as they hit the floor.  He pulled you down on top of him, you felt his hardness, pressed against your moist, warm center.

 

     " Tell me you want to feel me inside of you."  he whispered, leaving a trail of moist kisses from your neck to the scar on your shoulder.

 

     " I want to feel you inside of me, Armitage," you whispered into his ear, nibbling it as you pulled back.

 

     You raised you up onto your knees.  He aligned himself at your entrance. You both moaned as he pushed you down and his hard cock filled you up.  It really had been too long.

 

    " Fuck, (Y/N), your so tight," he growled, as you slowly started rolling your hips. " I've missed you. I've missed this, being inside of you," he breathed, before crashing his lips into yours.

 

     You grabbed hold of his shoulders to steady yourself as you picked up the pace, raising your hips slightly higher than before.  He grabbed hold of your hips, causing you to give up your current pace and change to a grinding motion.  You were constantly hitting your g-spot now, you knew you wasn't going to last much longer and you could tell neither was he.  You saw stars as your climax came followed by the General's, who pulled you to him while he yelled your name.

 

     He was still holding you close to him, your head on his shoulder, his cock still inside of you, as his comm link went off.  It was Lieutenant Mitaka.  Supreme Leader Snoke was wanting to speak with the General.  You got up and gathered your clothing as the General put himself right. He gave you quick kiss, told you he would meet you at dinner, and he was off.  You went to the refresher, took a quick shower, got ready and went to dinner.

 

     You wasn't necessarily dreading dinner, but you were nervous.  It would be the first time you went to dinner without the General since before your fight.  You walked in, everything seemed normal, customary nods and pleasantries, the dark-haired whore and her few friends stared at you, but that in itself was normal.  Apparently, they knew of her condition, but not of yours, and was convinced that he was going to leave you for her.  It might of been really funny, if it wasn't so sad.

 

     You sat at your usual spot and your usual glaring contest commenced.  Something was different, though.  She seemed to have a lot more confidence than usual.  Maybe it was because the General wasn't there or maybe it was her preconceived notion that she was above reproach since she was pregnant.  Whatever it was, it was a bit disconcerting.  Even others seemed to notice something different.

 

     The entrees were served and the General was yet to arrive.  The anxiety in the room was palpable as your glaring turned to deadly stares.  Just when you thought there was no end in sight, she made her move, the move of a teenage girl.

 

     Rather loudly and still staring at you, the whore said, " I'm not really surprised that his attentions turned elsewhere.  I heard she was rather dull and well, her looks really aren't that impressive.  In fact, the only reason he's marrying her is because her mother's influence and money is needed for the First Order."

 

     The room was deathly quiet now as you pondered how to best approach the situation.  Your first instinct, violence, was quickly pushed aside.  The General would be furious.  So you did the only thing you could really do.  You got up and as gracefully as your mother could ever do, walked over to her table.  Everybody was staring now and Captain Phasma was on her feet ready to act if need be.

 

     " I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, though, I know it was your intention that I do so.  It is rather laughable that you would even consider to say such a thing out loud, considering he is still with me and your dalliance only lasted a week.  You must of done something wrong.  Maybe it was your lack of experience.  Hmmm, I really don't think that's it, though.  Ah, I remember now, you're just a disgusting whore that gave it up to easily, thinking that it was going to get you somewhere in life.  Just for future reference, there is a brothel on Ranoth that may suit you, if you ever want a career change."

 

     Just as you were about to turn, an opportunity arose that you couldn't pass up.  A server with a tray full of water glasses came walking past.  You accidentally on purpose stumbled into him causing him to dump the entire contents of the tray on top of her.  Just as you sat down, the General came in.  You knew he knew something was wrong, but you wasn't going to say anything.

 

     He came and sat down in his usual seat, his brow turning quizzical as the dark-haired whore left the room drenched. " Is everything all right with Snoke?" you asked before he could say anything.

 

     " Yes and no.  I'm to leave in two days. He needs me to meet with the weapon's makers, there's a few things that needs to hashed out."

 

     " Am I to go with you?"

 

     " No.  In you current condition, I'm not going to risk your safety." you nodded and he grabbed your hand, " Come princess, lets go home.  You've been too mischievous and I can see that you're tired and need to rest."

 

     Later that night you were in bed, your head on his chest, his had rubbing your belly and Millicent laying beside you.  You knew he wanted to say something, he was just trying to find the best way to do it.

 

     " You know, sweetheart, I had the strangest message today on my way back from my talk with Snoke." you stayed quiet, he continued, " It said you confronted the whore, after she made an untoward comment.  I thought it a mistake, the (Y/N) that I know, would never jeopardize her safety or that of her baby, just to confront someone that could hurt her."

 

     " Well, I did have a few words with her, and then she had that horrible accident with the water tray.  I felt like I had to say something.  I didn't want anyone to think I was weak," you said giving him the saddest eyes you could possibly muster.

 

     " Absolutely mischievous.  I'm not made that you confronted the whore, she deserved it, but I wish you would have waited.  I'm leaving for two days, sweetheart, I'm concerned for your safety.  Neither I nor Ren will be here to protect you."

 

     " I can take care of myself, Armitage, I promise.  Nothing is going to happen." you said, raising up to kiss him on the cheek.

 

     " I hope you're right.  If anything happens to you or the baby, the responsible person will regret the day that they were born.

 

     You laid in the dark listening to the General's quiet breathing.  You knew what you had to do, rid yourself  of that dark-haired whore.  The plan couldn't be pulled off in two days, but it would give you a start.  The poor girl would never know what hit her by the time your done.  Of course her position wouldn't be able to be filled right away, but that really wasn't your problem, now was it.

 

      

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to put this chapter up. I rewrote it seven times. I'm not sure if its really how I wanted to go with it. I hope its not too short and I hope its okay. I am so sorry for the mean girl banter, I'm not really good at that sort of thing


	13. Potent Powders and Secrets.

     The day of the General's departure had arrived.  The last few days had been spent preparing and planning.  The General ran through the list of what you could and could not do at least three times a day, and met with Captain Phasma at least twice to go over the same list.  He assigned the two stormtroopers, that was with you during your time with the Resistance, to guard you.  There were others assigned to this detail, but brunt of it would fall to the ones you trusted the most, them and Captain Phasma.

 

     Of course, your planning was of a different nature.  The General wasn't making it any easier for you, forbidding you to do most everything.  You had to beg him to let you leave your quarters.  What you had in mind wasn't going to be easy with all of these rules, but it would get done.

 

     The General's whole demeanor had changed as soon as he told you he was leaving.  His possessiveness was at an all time high.  He never let you out of his sight.  He had never been one to be anxious, but it was obvious to everyone just how on edge he really was.  You fed into his anxiety causing sleepless nights and irritability.

 

     You didn't know the exact nature of this meeting with the weapons makers, but you knew it was more than just a normal meeting.  The General only got this way when he was about to do something dangerous or really bad.  It made you worry, he was purposefully not telling you about the meeting.  You knew it was because you were pregnant, he had told you before, he didn't want you to worry about anything, but it wasn't working.  You already had your own things to worry about, you didn't need this, too. What if he reacted badly to what you were going to do?  He hasn't told you about her yet, what if he wanted to keep her baby, too?  Even if he didn't care about her or the baby, he would still be furious, putting yourself in danger is what he would call it; giving you a chance at happiness is what you call it.

 

     He was to leave in twenty minutes.  He wanted you to stay in your quarters, but you refused.  Before leaving for the landing bay; he went over your forbidden list again, kissed your pregnant belly and whispered to the baby to behave.  He took your hand into his and off you went.  You could feel his anxiety level rising as you neared the shuttle.

 

     Standing at the entrance to his shuttle, that's when you saw it, the look in his eyes, he wasn't sure he was coming back.  Your panic kicked into overdrive, " Armitage, please take me with you," you begged, " Whatever you're getting ready to do, I can help you..."

 

     " Sweetheart," he said, cutting you off," This is exactly why I didn't want you to come down here.  Everything is going to be fine," he continued, in his typical calm voice, " I'll be back in three days, in our bed, holding you and out baby."

 

     " Armitage, please promise me you'll come back.  I don't want to raise out baby without you," you said, tears streaming down your cheeks.

 

     "Shh, love," he said, lifting your chin up, so he could see your eyes, " I promise I will come back to you," he said pulling you to him, " Back to you both," he whispered before pulling you into a kiss.

 

     One minute later, he was walking into his shuttle and his second in command Lieutenant General Heinrich was escorting you to your quarters.  He was trying his best to make the conversation cheerful, but you wasn't having any of it.

 

     Before entering your quarters, you turned to him, " You are going to monitor his shuttle at all times?" he nodded, " His tracking device has been activated?" he nodded again, " If anything goes wrong, we will go to him immediately?"

 

     "(Y/N)," he said, with an sympathetic look, " We're going to do everything that we can to make sure he stays safe."

 

     " Very well," you said, trying to give the appearance of strength, " I've some things to do here, and then I'm going to our office.  If anything happens, even the smallest thing, you are to let me know immediately."

 

     " I will, (Y/N), I promise," he said, turning to leave.

 

     You went in and sat on the sofa, you needed to think.  Things were not going the way they were supposed to.  The fact that, whatever he was doing was so dangerous that he may never come back never crossed your mind.  You knew you had to go through the first part of your plan.  It had to be done, if something should happen to him, if left undone, it could cause such a mess.  You wondered if his father knew.  He had convinced you to tell your mother, there were so many things you needed to ask her.  He told Snoke. But what about her, who has he told about her?

 

     You looked at your cabinet.  He had put a new lock on it, to keep you out.  You knew the code, the date you agreed to be his.  You smiled at his sentimentality.  You just hoped it didn't have a memory to show when it had been opened last.  You took what you needed and left to go to your office. 

 

     It was dark and you could tell that the General had tidied his desk before he left, he always did.  You increased the lights only slightly and sat down on the sofa and looked out the window.  You tried to pick up the thoughts of the bridge crew, but you were too tired, too distracted.  You needed to find a way to get to the dark-haired whore.  You couldn't go to the dining hall, you had been forbidden, you couldn't go to her department, you had been forbidden.

 

     You were at a loss, then a bit of good luck came your way.  She came to you.  She came through the door to what was supposed to be your office.  You thought no one had thought to guard that entrance.  The situation could not be more perfect; she came to you and no one knew she was there.  She came and sat down next to you as if you were old friends.  She wasn't going to harm you, she just wanted to gloat.

 

     " I heard that you gave quite a performance at the landing bay this morning," she said, in her most friendly tone, " Begging him to take you with him.  I heard you were near to hysterics.  I do hope you have recovered."

 

     " Well, what can I say, I love him and fear for his safety.  Tell me, Petra, what brings you all this way to see me?  Surely its not to inquire after my health?"

 

     " I just wanted to talk to you a bit. Tell me, (Y/N), do you think he loves you as much as he says he does?"

 

     " I have no doubt that he loves me."

 

     " Then you must be naïve or just stupid.  A man who claims to love someone as much as he claims to love you would never even think to sleep with someone else, let alone get them pregnant,"  she said, looking at you for some kind of reaction.

 

     You didn't give her any.  Instead, you maintained the calm demeanor your mother and the General taught you. " Well, congratulations.  I hope you enjoy what time you have left on the Finalizer before the General sends you home.  I mean, you do know the rules, pregnant women are not allowed on the Finalizer."

 

     You watched as a bit of anger flashed across her face, she knew what you said was true. " He may send me away, but not before he casts you aside and marries me.  The General would never allow his son to be born a bastard."

 

     " Your logic is flawed, Petra.  He may marry you, but he will still send you away.  You'll be put away somewhere and he'll be here doing whatever, whoever he wants.  Believe me when I say this, he will not be faithful to you.  I've known him for three years, I know what he will do.  As you said before, Petra, he says he loves me everyday, asked me to marry him, and yet, in a moment of anger at me, the was unfaithful.  Do you think a child will make him change his ways? He makes all these promises, says he'll be the man you deserve, but he never changes."  The horrible truth spouted from your lips like a fountain, it was tough to hear for you and for her, as she was now in tears.  " Petra, here, let me get you some water."

 

     She thanked you, drank the water, put herself right again, and left the way she came.  You were so thankful that it was over and so simple.  Dr. Beteeno would not contact you about her, but you hoped the Lieutenant General would let you know, since he would be notified.

 

     You relaxed a little, the first part of you plan being completed. It gave you time to worry about the General.  You waited and waited, you heard nothing.  You went to the bridge, monitored the tracking system, everything was fine.  You did see Heinrich grow a little pale at some news that he had received from Dr. Beteeno.  You couldn't help but smile, a little.

 

     You went back to the office and stared out the window until you dozed off.  You was awoken by the gentle shake of a woman, it was Captain Phasma, without her mask.  You could tell it was quite late.

 

     " Commander (Y/L/N), you need to go to your quarters now.  The General would be very upset if he knew you had stayed here all night. " you nodded and made to get up, she continued, " I thought that you might be interested to know that Commander Panovich suffered a miscarriage earlier this afternoon."

 

     " That's rather unfortunate.  Does Dr. Beteeno know what happened?"

 

     " He said that it just happens sometimes," she said, putting her helmet back on.

 

     The next day was rather uneventful.  You stayed in your office like you did the day before.  You read the daily reports, the dark-haired whore was still in the med bay, everything was fine.  The General and his shuttle was still being tracked and that was going fine as well.  Your anxiety abated a little.  You left the office at dinner time.  You had dinner and went to bed, you had not realized just how tired you really were.

 

     You didn't know what time it was when you woke up in a sweat.  Something was wrong, you could sense it, everyone around you was nervous, frightened.  You didn't even bother dressing, you threw on the General's robe and ran to the bridge.  The doors opened to a mass of anxiety and chaos.  But it all stopped as soon as they saw you.  Heinrich was so pale, he looked as though he was going to be sick all over the floor.  You closed your mind, you didn't want to hear their thoughts, you wanted to hear the words.

 

     You walked up to him, " Tell me what's wrong," you said quietly, trying to hide your fear. He just stood there not able to speak. " TELL ME WHATS WRONG," you yelled.

 

     " Everything was fine, until twenty minutes ago, we lost his signal and the shuttle's"

 

     " What do you mean, lost?"

 

     "We've opened channels, but we're not getting anything."

 

     " Show me."

 

     He walked you over to the control panel, you watched as they pushed buttons here, turned dials there.  There was nothing.

 

     " Have you alerted Commander Ren?"

 

     " We have sent a message, but we are yet to hear anything."

 

     " Are we in route to his last known coordinates?"

 

     " Yes. We also sent out scouts, but nothing yet."

 

     You couldn't breath.  Your knees were weak.  You couldn't handle everyone looking at you as your world was crashing down around your ears.  You couldn't comprehend anything that was going on around you or even what you was doing.  Heinrich was talking to you, but you couldn't hear him.  You made some kind of gesture of acknowledgement and walked away, to the office.

 

     You made it just inside the door before you collapsed into a puddle on the floor.  You wanted to scream, tried to scream, but there was no sound.  The tears flowed down your cheeks and gathered in the floor, as you laid there, watching your life with the General pass before your eyes.  Your child was never going to know its father, only the stories.  It was never going to know the love that he had for it.  How were you ever going to be able to tell his child about the wonderful man its father was.

 

     You were lost, you didn't know anything, couldn't feel anything.  You wanted to be with him, where ever he was.  You didn't want to live, if it meant living without him. 

 

     There was arms around you, cradling you, as you continued to break down.   He was whispering to you, but you couldn't hear what he was saying.  A few minutes later, more voices was surrounding you.  You felt a pinch in your arm, Dr. Beteeno had given you something.  Still sobbing, you looked up to see who was holding you. Lieutenant Mitaka's brown eyes, full of sadness and worry was looking back at you.

 

     " (Y/N)," he whispered, " Lets go to the sofa, you shouldn't be on this cold floor."

 

     Feeling a little bit more calm, you nodded and let him lead you to the sofa.  And so you sat there, waiting,  for news, any news.  Your tears had stopped, but only for a while.  It was cold, so cold you were shivering.  The Lieutenant brought you the General's great coat from the closet to cover up in.  It smelled like him, the cologne that drove you absolutely mad. 

 

     Lieutenant General Heinrich entered the office, still looking pale and even sicker than before.  He kneeled down in front of you taking your hands into his.  You knew what he was going to say, it was written all over his face.  " (Y/N), we made it to his last known coordinates.  We found some debris, its the General's shuttle.  It has been completely destroyed."

 

     Your heart sank at the words.  You buried your face in your hands weeping.  It was over, your life was done.  You knew you had to go on for your child, his child.  You just couldn't, you didn't have the strength.

 

     Heinrich took your hands (Y/N), I need you to listen to me.  The General did not meet with the weapon's makers.  We've been following up on several intelligence reports that a militant group was looking to overthrow Supreme Leader Snoke.  He went to meet with Snoke about this possible coup.  We knew that there was a chance that there could be an attack.  There was an attack.  Everyone escaped the planet, but we don't know what happened after that.  We know that Snoke is alive, but barely. Commander Ren was also there, we still haven't heard from him."

 

     Trying to be calm, you asked, " What's to happen now?"

 

     " The General was going to tell you, he was just waiting for the right time.  Snoke was already in poor health before the attack, so he thought it prudent to name his successors before he died.  He named the General and Commander Ren joint successors.  A few weeks ago, Snoke amended it.  In the event that something happened to the General, your child would take his place.  You and Commandant Hux would act as co-regents until the child is of age." he paused, letting everything sink in, then continued, " A plan was made at the same time, that if anything was to happen to him, as soon at it was deemed safe, you would be transported to his father's compound."

 

     " Is that where we are going now?"

 

     " No.  Its not safe to move you, yet.  We received word that this militant group in in route this way."  you could feel your eyes widen in panic, " They will not win.  The Punisher and The Executioner will be here in minutes.  They will not stand a chance.  Until they are destroyed, you will stay in here.  Captain Phasma  and Nurse Beteeno will be in here as well."

 

     The alarm sounded and Heinrich and Mitaka left and Captain Phasma and Dr. Beteeno's wife, Nurse Beteeno came in.  The Captain stood by the door with her blaster ready and the Nurse sat down beside you.  She pulled you to her and you broke down, crying, on her shoulder.  It was all too much to handle.  How were you going to live without him, you couldn't help lead the First Order. 

 

     The more you thought about him, your unborn child, and your future, the harder you cried.  Nurse Beteeno just kept rubbing your back, calming you as the sedative the doctor gave you took full effect.  As you eyelids grew heavy, you watched the battle start to unfold through the windows.  The militant group was bigger than you was led to believe.  The last thing you remember before sleep over took you was yelling from the bridge and the two tie fighters pursuing one of their fighters.

    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. This chapter took a turn I was not expecting it to take. I do hope you like it though.


	14. Times Were Changing

You did not know how long the battle lasted.  You awoke occasionally, a noise or something would bring you around, briefly, but you never opened your eyes.  You didn't want to see what your world was like without him in it.  The shaking ship jarred you awake for good.  Nurse Beteeno grabbed you to keep you from falling.  Still you didn't open your eyes, you listened instead; to the alarms, the indistinct voices coming from the bridge.  They had been surprised by this militant group, it was much bigger, stronger than they had been led to believe.

 

You sat up rather quickly, making yourself dizzy, as the ship began to shake again.  Nurse Beteeno took out her scanner and moved it around your head, torso, and belly.  Being satisfied that there was nothing wrong, she put it away.  Your head ached and your eyes were sore from all the tears you spilled.  You wanted to get up, walk around, but you were still too wonky from the sedative, and you didn't trust yourself to stand.

 

You looked out  the window, the battle was dwindling.  There was debris everywhere, you couldn't even make out who it belonged to.  All this destruction, it mirrored how you felt inside.  You knew you couldn't keep wallowing like this, you had to be strong, but your heart wasn't buying it.

 

Your attention turned to Captain Phasma, she was leaving the room.  As the door quickly opened and closed, you thought you caught a glimpse of Kylo Ren, but you wasn't sure.  You were so thankful if it was him, but still, you was just a little angry. Why was he to live and Armitage wasn't?   He was going to live his life, see his children grow, see your child grow.  Your thoughts were so mixed up, you were hating the man, your friend, because he lived.  You wanted to cry, but you didn't, you couldn't, your tears appeared to be all dried up.  You grabbed the General's great coat and went to your desk.  it was dark there and away from everything else in the room.  You sat in the dark and zoned out, lost in your memories.

 

Loud cheers from the bridge brought you back to reality.  The battle must have ended and we the victors.  You could see out the window from you desk.  You could see all the destruction.  You could see the other two ships, they had some damage, but not much.  How much damage had the Finalizer incurred, you wondered.  We most likely would put in at Targa for repairs.  From there, you would go to Commandant Hux's compound, to be locked away.  You had never met him, but Armitage had told you a lot about him and it wasn't too promising.  You bowed your head, your future did not look too promising.

 

The cheering from the bridge ceased and gave way to yelling and screaming.  The office was not totally soundproof, just enough to where you couldn't make out the voices clearly.  You did make out Kylo Ren's voice, but the other one, it was much lower, it sounded like his, but it was just wishful thinking.  You went towards the door, you had to make sure.  You shivered as your bare feet made their way across the cold metal floor.

 

As the door opened, you saw him.  He had blood all over from a nasty looking cut on his forehead and his uniform was a little worse for wear, but he was there, alive.  Not waiting for him to come to you, with tears running down your cheeks, you ran to him and jumped up in his arms, nearly knocking him off of his feet.  His arms squeezed you tighter as your lips met his.  For a few brief minutes, time stopped and everyone around you ceased to exist.  It was just him and you relishing the time you were in each others arms.

 

" Sweetheart," he whispered, while peppering your neck with butterfly kisses, " I'm so sorry. I wanted to contact you, but I thought it would be too risky.  I was worried that..."

 

" Shh Armitage, it's all right.  You're here now and that is all that matters."  you traced a finger around the gash on his forehead, " We need to get you to the Med Bay, have you looked at."

 

" Sweetheart," he started, while putting you down, " I'm fine.  The is still things that I need to tend to before I can rest.  I want you to go rest, I don't want you to see what has to be done next.  And besides, all this stress and excitement can't be good for the baby."

 

You were caught off guard, he just announced to the entire bridge crew that he was going to be a father, and he didn't seem to care.  All eyes were on the two of you now.  There had rumors of course, but no real evidence, and now, there was.  Nobody was really quite sure what to do next, until the General yelled at them to get back to work.  With you still in his arms, he bent down and kissed your forehead, letting you know everything was okay. 

 

Before pulling away, he whispered in your ear, " Its all right, love, they were going to find out soon enough anyway." you saw his smile as he pulled back and he continued, " I think I will walk you back to our quarters, I do need to clean up a bit."

 

He took you by the hand and guided you to the door.  As you walked down the corridors, everyone was running around and cleaning up after the battle.  As the General would pass them, they would stop and salute, of course, but they would stare.  No one had ever seen the General injured or so unkempt before.  You were jogging just to keep up with him.  You made it to your quarters in record time.

 

He kept hold of your hand as he pulled you into the refresher with him.  He started undressing and he motioned for you to do the same.  He grabbed you and pulled you into his arms.  He lifted your chin so you were looking directly into his eyes. 

 

" I've thought nothing but you since I left.  I was so worried about you.  Ren could feel your pain, he could feel how much you were hurting.  It was tearing me apart not being able to get to you, to tell you that I was okay," he bent down and gently kissed your lips, " When I'm done tending to this mess, I promise you I will come back and we will make up for lost time.  But for now, I want you to take a shower with me."

 

He reached around and turned the water on, and you both got in.  You looked  at his thin body, he had some bruises on his arms and upper body and the gash on his forehead really wasn't that bad now that the blood had been washed away.  You took turns washing each others bodies, taking your time, prolonging it for as long as you could.  But it did end.  You both got out, dried each other, and got dressed.  He went to work and you went to bed.  It wasn't quite the way you thought your reunion would go, but you didn't mind.  He was back, safe and virtually unharmed.  You laid down with Millicent on your belly, feeling like the weight of a thousand ships had just been moved from your chest.  The last little while had been total hell. You had run the gauntlet of emotions, from one extreme to another. Despite being given a sedative and sleeping through most of the battle, you were still so exhausted, you fell asleep within minutes of your head touching your pillow.

 

You awoke to fingers lightly tracing patterns on your chest and neck.  You slowly opened your eyes to see the General, naked and propped up on his elbow looking at you.

 

" How long have you been here?"

 

" Not long.  I debated on waking you up, you looked so beautiful sleeping," he said running his index finger across your lips.

 

You took it into your mouth, sucking and caressing it with your tongue.  You watched as the General inhaled deeply and closed his eyes as you continued to suck is finger like it was his cock you were stroking with your right hand.  He groaned as he popped his finger out of your mouth.  He traced a path from your lips to the neckline of your night gown.  He pulled it over your head as you spread your legs so he could move between them. 

 

Circling your clit with his thumb, he said, " Such a naughty girl, no knickers.  What would your mother say?

 

" What she always says," you said with a smirk, " A girl should always be prepared."

 

He lowered himself so his face was between your legs.  He kissed your inner thighs before running his tongue up your slit and swirling it around your swelling clit.  You fisted the sheets as he sucked and nipped at your clit before his tongue entered you, exploring you.  His thumb circled your clit while his tongue swirled around your depths, lapping up all the juices it could.

 

" Armitage, please I want more, please make me cum," you begged.

 

He removed his tongue, one of his long fingers taking its place and then another.  He pumped in and out slowly, hitting your sweet spot each time, his mouth assaulted your overly sensitive and swollen clit.  As he sucked and nipped, his fingers picked up their pace.  You closed your eyes in bliss as your cunt clamped around is fingers and your orgasm overtook your body.  You screamed his name as bright lights and stars danced in front of your eyes.

 

He moved back your body, leaving a trail of moist kisses as he worked his way up to your lips.  You could still taste your juices on his lips and tongue.  He cupped your slightly larger breast as his kiss deepened.  You ran your fingers through his ginger locks as he moved his lips to your neck and to that special spot just behind your ear lobe.  As he nibbled at your special spot you ran your nails down his back, hard.  He growled, biting down on your neck. 

 

"Armitage, please, I want you inside of me," you whispered.

 

" I've thought of nothing else, love," he whispered, as you felt him aligning his cock to your entrance.

 

 You gasped at the pleasurable sensation of his large, hard cock pushing its way inside of you.  He was taking his time and going slow, relishing the moment, like it was going to be his last.  You brought your legs around his waist, as he continued his slow pace, hitting your g-spot each time.  He was slowly getting faster and slowly bringing you closer to the edge.

 

Your bodies was glistening with a thin layer of sweat, and you both smelled of sex and his cologne.  His movements, your movements, the sounds you both were making, seemed to working in tandem to bring you closer to coming undone and to the point of no return.

 

" I want you to cum for me, love," he growled as he started to go faster.

 

The faster he went the more you moaned, the more you screamed his name over and over, like it was some sort of mantra or prayer.  He knew just what to do to get you to that place.  You bucked your hips into his, matching his rhythm.  He was hitting it just right, you were so close, you could feel it in the pit of your stomach.  He grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head, squeezing them, as you both climaxed.  You body was still trembling as you were slowly coming down from your orgasm, as he pulled out of you and collapsed on the bed beside you.

 

He pulled you to him, his arm wrapped around you and his had rubbing your pregnant belly.  You laid there like that, in the quiet, just happy being in each others arms.  And he was happy, you could feel it, whatever the reasons, you didn't care.  He was happy and you were happy and that was all that mattered.

 

The next day came, and work came with it.  The General said that there was still much to be done and he wasn't joking.  There were many holo-conferences; discussing the damage done to the First Order, what to do when Supreme Leader Snoke passes, and the succession.  It was all a little too much for you, but you did what you do, you carried on.

 

The militant group had been destroyed.  What survivors that were left had been interrogated and then executed.  Kylo Ren oversaw that part personally.  What was left of their ships were to be taken to Targa and gone over with a fine tooth comb.  There wasn't much known about them, except that they were unhappy with the status quo and thought that they could do a better job. 

 

You learned all about the meeting between the General, Kylo Ren, and Snoke.  Though they knew it could happen , the attack come on suddenly and Snoke had taken several blaster shots.  The General sent his shuttle away with his tracker on it, hoping that it would lure some of them away and it did.  This allowed The General and Kylo Ren to leave on one ship and Snoke to leave on another and to get away.   Of course, the General's shuttle had been destroyed, which, he said was regrettable, since it caused you so much pain.  Snoke,  his destination unkown, was still alive, but barely.  You hated hearing all the details, but you were the General's assistant, and you had to be there.

 

After lunch, the was break in the meeting and holo-conferences.  The General decided to that he needed to talk with you about the succession.  It was as Heinrich said; the General and Kylo Ren would rule jointly.  All decisions would be made together.  The General would be the face of the new leadership, and Kylo Ren would stay in the shadows and enforce their will, as he really didn't want to be in the lime light. 

 

" But what am I to do, exactly?"

 

" You will be my wife, the mother of my children, my assistant, and our most trusted advisor.  Ren trusts you more than any one else and wants you involved in everything."

 

" That sounds like a lot for one person to handle."

 

" It sounds like that, but I promise, it will not be that bad."

 

" Where will we live?"

 

"The space station for now.  We are still at war with the Resistance.  They may strike soon, thinking that we are weak, what with Snoke on death's door and us fresh out of battle.  We will stay there until the Resistance is completely destroyed.  It will be the safest place for you and the baby."

 

" Armitage, it just sounds like so much."

 

" I know, sweetheart," he said pulling you to him, you head resting on his chest, " It is a lot and if anybody can handle it, I know you can.  I promise you everything will be fine.  I'm having a select group of storm troopers trained to be death troopers.  They will protect us night and day."

 

You knew this is what he had always wanted, to rule the galaxy.  He was trying so hard to ease your mind.  You didn't want to rain on happiness, so you did what you always do.  Smile, do what he wanted and go with it.

 

After the last holo-conference, the General decided he wanted to go to the Med Bay to visit his wounded men.  And then you remembered.  The dark-haired whore was there bleeding to death, the cause undetermined.  As soon as the General saw her, read the report, he would know what happened, what you had done.  You could only hope that his happiness would keep his anger at bay.

 

He wanted you to go with him, so you went to face the music.  With your arm linked in his, you went around to each and every man and woman.  Though you were there to console them and wish them well, you were surprised to learn that they knew you were pregnant and they all congratulated you and the General.  Even thought you were terrified that the General was going to be angry with you, you still relished in the fact the dark-haired whore would die knowing that you were pregnant and that the General loved you.

 

Your happiness did end rather abruptly, though, as soon as the General saw her laying there.  He was polite enough when he sent you to your quarters.  You knew what was going to happen when he came home.  Maybe you should take Kylo's advice this time and keep your temper.  You would take what he was going to give you, the yelling the screaming.  You would apologize and beg for his forgiveness.  You didn't want him to be angry with you not now after you were so close to losing him.  You didn't want to go away, so you would do what you had to do.   So you sat on the sofa with Millicent in your lap and waited on him, you didn't have to wait long.

 

" What did you do?"  he asked calmly as he walked through the door.

 

" Took care of the situation," you said in a barely audible whisper.

 

" Tell me everything." he said, trying to keep his anger in check.

 

So, you explained how you had read Dr. Beteeno's mind and how you planned to take care of the problem after your altercation in the dining hall.  You explained how you thought it needed to be done to protect your babies future.  You told him how you mixed just the right powders to cause a miscarriage and cause her to bleed out slowly.  You told him about the confrontation in the office and how you mixed the powders in her water.

 

You sat in silence for a good ten minutes, before he unleashed his fury, " **YOU DELIBERTLY DISOBEYED EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO.  WE HAD HAD THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE. IF I WANTED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF THE SITUATION, I WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU TO.  I AM STILL YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER, I EXPECT THE RULES TO BE OBEYED.  YOU'VE PUT YOURSELF AT RISK, THE BABY AT RISK. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN, YOUR ARE AS STUBBORN AS YOUR MOTHER."** you sat and took it just as you said you would, " **WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? HOW AM I GOING TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD NOT TO ACT ON YOUR OWN, NOT TO BE SO RASH?"** he thought for a minute and continued more subdued, " You are to stay in these rooms the rest of the night, I will have your dinner sent."  he walked over to you and kissed your forehead, " I love you (Y/N), but you really do frustrate me sometimes."

 

And then he was gone and you were still there.  It wasn't as bad as you thought, he got out what he wanted to and then he was fine.  Maybe he did take it a little easier on you because of your condition, maybe he wasn't as angry with you as he thought.  At any rate you was glad that it was over.  You would have to remember to use this strategy more often.  An hour later the door whooshed open and in walked Kylo Ren with your food tray.

 

 " You shouldn't be here, you know, I'm being punished."

 

" I know he asked me to bring you dinner."

 

" Is he still mad at me?"

 

"I don't think he was ever really mad at you, he was more worried about you than anything." he sat your tray down and continued, " I thought you should know that she passed away a few minutes ago. And no, he wasn't there.  She was alone, miserable, and cursing your name with her dying breath."

 

" That's unfortunate," you said, not wanting to dwell on it, " I hear you are to be congratulated, you defeated the Jedi Master Luke Skywalker."

 

He smirked a little, showing a little pride in his accomplishment, " One less obstacle. The rest will fall soon."

 

" You don't seem as happy about as I thought you would be."

 

" It was bittersweet.  I felt my mother's pain, the same as when I killed my father.  I still care for my mother.  I long for the day the Resistance falls, but I dread it just the same, because she will die with the others and I won't be able to save her."

 

You had never heard his speak of his mother like that before, from the heart.  You started to tear up, you blamed your hormones.  You rushed over to him and hugged him, crying on his shoulder. 

 

" I had heard pregnant women where emotional wrecks," he said, gently removing himself from your grasp, " but I never expected you to fall pray to such nonsense."

 

" I'm sorry," you said, sitting back down to your dinner, " I really do try, but with the last few days, things have been so hard."

 

" I know. I felt everything you were going through, all your pain.  Hux was frantic with worry." he paused a second, then chuckled," Before the attack, Hux said he thought you were planning something, but couldn't prove it."

 

You laughed, he must of known you were desperate for a subject change, " He knows me too well, then"

 

The conversation drifted from one subject to another like any normal conversation.  You were happy that he was alive.  He really was your friend and you had no idea what you would do without him.  As he left, you felt better about everything, he always had that effect on you.  But no sooner did he leave than the General came home.  He no longer looked angry and you couldn't feel it either.  He was just surrounded by the happiness that had been surrounding him the whole day.

 

" I see Ren has come and gone," he said, looking at your tray of half-eaten food.

 

" You just missed him, actually." you said, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't so you continued, " Armitage, I am sorry.  Not sorry that I killed her, but I am sorry for disobeying you.  I just hated her so much.  I was worried that she would use her child to take advantage of the situation.  Her child would have been born before ours, technically, your first born. It could of caused a lot of problems."

 

 He came and sat down beside of you, " My love, I know how you feel, and I understand your thinking.  I'm not really angry with you, just the situation, and how I wasn't able to take care of it , that the burden fell on you.  I don't want you to have to deal with things like this.  It's not in your nature to kill.  You are too good.  I'm afraid that you will, in the future, feel some kind of guilt and that it will take its toll on you."

 

Again you found yourself crying on a man's shoulder.  He just held you letting you cry.  You really did mean what you said, the fact that you killed her did not bother you, it was a necessity.  But he could be right, things did have a way of catching up with people, maybe you would feel guilt or maybe something terrible would happen to you. But you did know that you would do what you had to do to protect him, you and the baby.  Any threat would be dealt with.

 

As you lay in bed that night, you thought about things.  How much you have changed.  A year ago, would you have acted on your own, to do anything to anybody.  The General had to order you to do things.  Before your relationship with the General had blossomed, you had only killed one person and that was on Snoke's orders.  It seemed like the General, or being with him, has changed you into someone you had never imagined, someone more like your mother.  It was almost as if you were obsessed with him, with your relationship, that you would not allow for anyone to interfere.  And now that you were pregnant, your mother instincts were in overdrive, you would do anything to protect your baby, your family.  You were afraid of this new you.

 

You wanted to be the way you were before you met the General, kind and caring, but you could not be that person again.  You had seen too much, done too much.  In the years to come, you would have to be strong and unrelenting, and harden your heart, just a little, just like the General, as he assumed his role of a leader of the First Order.  The times were changing and you had to change with them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope no one was truly devastated. I did really think about not bringing him back and have the reader maybe get into a relationship with Kylo Ren, but I could not do that to the General.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic. So please go easy on me.


End file.
